


It's Like Wishing For Rain (As I Stand In The Desert)

by fromstarlighttodust



Series: A Drop In The Ocean [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Acceptance, Accidental Drug Use, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Twins, Amputation, Anal, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Angry Eren Yeager, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Broken Bones, Cannibalism, Come as Lube, Fire escape ladders can be finicky, First Time, Hospitals, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm being tutored how to tag, Implied/Referenced Torture, Infection, Infection of the zombie kind, It wouldnt let me say just infection twice, Its not theft if everyone is dead, Kinda, Levi is a throwable object, M/M, Manipulation, Mikasa Ackerman & Eren Yeager Are Siblings, Mikasa Ackerman & Levi Are Not Related, Mistakes, Narrowly escaping death like the bosses they are, No heat in february is no joke, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Rebuffed love confessions, Self-Sacrifice, Skippable Smut, Slow Burn, Smart Armin Arlert, Smut, Survival, The bacterial kind, Traumatic Amputation, Wakes & Funerals, Zombie Apocalypse, Zombies, bear with me, broken leg, ereri, how am i doing?, how rude, not the main characters, perceived character death, you may be thinking not really but you'll understand
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-18
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-25 00:21:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 45
Words: 76,956
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14965043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fromstarlighttodust/pseuds/fromstarlighttodust
Summary: When zombies go from fiction to fact, four high school students find themselves fighting for survival. Levi, Eren, Armin and Mikasa manage to escape the hell on the streets and hole up in an apartment together, but zombies aren't the only thing threatening the group. Clashing personalities and deep seated family secrets threaten to tear the four apart before the zombies can get to them. How will they survive when threatened from outside and within?





	1. Year 1, the city part 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi, my aot fan base!!! I know I've been churning out yoi fics recently, but I'm going back to my roots as an aot writer! Didn't want you guys to think I forgot about you!

“What’s happening?” Armin cried, running up to Mikasa and Eren.

“I don’t know,” Mikasa stared out of the window.

There had been announcements all morning about avoiding sick people, there was some kind of disease going around, but it wasn’t until they were at school that things seem to have taken a turn for the worse.

“Why are they locking the front gates?” Eren tilted he head to the side, watching a couple teachers pushing the gates shut.

“Either they’re locking us in or something else out,” a voice came from behind them and Eren turned to see Levi standing behind them. Eren felt his heart speed up a little looking at the older student who sometimes sat with them at lunch. Less than a month earlier, they had started a tentative relationship and they were still testing the waters together. Eren knew that Levi’s classroom was another floor up so the only reason he would be here was for Eren and the thought warmed him inside.

“I don’t think we should worry too much,” Mikasa said quietly, not even turning to look at Levi. They didn’t get along well, Eren knew, but they tended to pretend for his sake.

“They haven’t closed those gates for the two years we’ve been here,” Armin replied. “Not even at night. I’m concerned.”

Levi walked forward and studied the activity outside. “We should leave.”

Before anyone could respond Armin pointed towards the gates. “Who’s that?”

The four students watched at one of the teachers pushing the gates shut tried to shove the person stumbling in back out. The person responded by biting the teacher and the teacher fell over, grasping his shoulder. The other teacher at the gate started to run, only to be caught by a few other people who had followed the first onto the school grounds and knocked him down, biting him repeatedly.

Eren covered his mouth and looked away, only to see Levi studying the scene outside with the same neutral expression he always wore, but his eyes were darting around faster than they normally would. He glanced outside again and saw both teachers standing again, but they weren’t walking normally. More like almost falling over themselves. There were more people pouring through the half closed gates, but they all seemed to be injured in some way.

“We have to go help them!” Armin said quickly standing, only to have his arm grabbed by Levi.

“Don’t,” he said simply.

“Something is very wrong,” Mikasa agreed.

“We have to leave now,” Levi let go of Armin and turned away from them. “Out the back.”

Eren nodded slowly. He didn’t know what was going on, but he trusted Levi and if he and Mikasa agreed on something, then it was not only a cold day in hell, it was probably true. They made their way downstairs, out of the back of the building and towards the back of the school.

Eren’s eyes widened as they made their way through the city. “This is hell.”

There were people running around everywhere, breaking store windows, rioting in the streets, stealing what they could carry. The group ducked down an alley to avoid a particularly rowdy group of men smashing bottles in the street.

“We need to get off the streets,” Levi said, peering around the corner of the building at the insanity going on.

“Our place is close,” Eren suggested.

Slowly Mikasa shook her head. “Armin’s is safer.”

“Dad’s not even home, Mika,” Eren frowned.

“That we know of,” Mikasa crossed her arms.

“We have to move now, make a decision,” Levi muttered. “Those people from the school seem to be coming this way.”

Armin glanced around the corner with him and bit his lip. “Impossible…”

“Our’s, come on,” Eren said, frowning at Armin. Mikasa didn’t object this time, just took the lead and started to lead them out of the alley. “Armin, what are you thinking?”

Armin shook his head. “When we get to your apartment, we need to watch the news, gather whatever information we can.”

Eren nodded and before long, they were bursting into the apartment, bolting the door behind them. Armin immediately walked into the living room and turned on the tv.

 

“ _ Reports are coming in from all over the country. The CDC urges people to remain indoors and avoid any contact with those infected. We have live footage from camera crews coming in now…” _

 

As they watched, hordes of people were shuffling down the street occasionally moving faster when they encountered someone trying to flee. Armin’s was studying the images with a look of disbelief.

“Armin?” Mikasa asked.

“Zombies,” Armin said slowly. “This is… A zombie apocalypse.”

“Pardon?” Mikasa blinked. “That’s not possible.”

“Look at what’s happening,” Armin pointed at the screen. “Those aren’t people.”

“But zombies?” Mikasa frowned.

“Do you have a better explanation?” Levi interjected.

“No one asked you, shorty,” Mikasa bristled.

Levi rolled his eyes and then turned to Eren. “Do you have a fire escape?” Eren nodded and led Levi towards another room. Levi climbed out the window with the fire escape and climbed up towards the roof. After a few minutes, he came back in. “Are we staying here?”

“The CDC says we should stay inside,” Armin said.

“Of course they did, what else were they supposed to tell us?” Mikasa grumbled.

“Other than that, it’s hell on the streets. We should stay here,” Eren replied.

“How much do you have in the way of food reserves?” Levi asked.

“Enough for the four of us to survive for maybe two weeks if we’re careful,” Eren replied after a few moments.

Levi nodded and then turned to Armin. “What else could you tell about what’s going on other than ‘zombies’?”

“Well, look at this footage,” Armin leaned forward, pointing at the tv. “The zombies seem to be moving slowly until they identify a human who isn’t infected and then they move faster and bite the person, so they aren’t just slow. We can’t really outrun them. However, look at this,” he motioned to a woman standing pressed against a building, her hand over her mouth. “Why aren’t they attacking her?”

“Maybe she’s already infected?” Mikasa suggested.

“No,” Levi muttered. “It seems to take 36 seconds for a person to turn once bitten.”

“How would you know that?” Mikasa snapped.

“I counted, dumbass,” Levi shot back.

Eren rolled his eyes. “Armin, why aren’t they attacking that lady?”

“It’s just a theory, but look at her as opposed to everyone else. She’s obviously terrified, but she’s not making any noise, not moving while everyone else is screaming and running. I think it’s sound that they’re attracted to. There’s a chance that they can’t even see,” Armin bit his lip. “I don’t particularly want to test that theory, though.”

“There are ways to test it without risking our lives,” Levi said. “But for now, we should bunker down here, barricade the door and get some rest.”

Eren nodded in agreement. “Alright. Let’s get to it.”

``~`**`~``

 

The first few nights in the apartment weren’t easy. The screams outside followed by inhuman groans, bangs and other unidentifiable sounds kept everyone awake. After a few days though, everything seemed to go silent and the quiet was almost worse.

It was then that Levi decided it would be a good idea to test Armin’s theories. He lead them to the top of the fire escape and then effortlessly boosted himself onto the roof of the building. Once they were all up, he nodded to the next building over.

“It’s not too far,” he said.

Eren bit his lip. “We could jump it.”

“It’s dangerous,” Mikasa objected.

“But safer than trying to go down on the street,” Armin reasoned.

“Armin won’t make it,” Eren said quietly.

Armin looked down at the ground, embarrassed. “It’s fine, I can stay here.”

“No,” Levi shook his head. “This will be our escape route, among other things. Either we all do it or it’s pointless.”

“I’ll try,” Armin looked up, a determined glint in his eye. “I might not be the strongest or the most physically fit, but I won’t slow you down. I refuse to.”

Levi nodded and Eren grinned at him. “We’re going to need your big brain,” Eren teased.

“For now, let’s get at least a few buildings over to test Armin’s theories,” Levi said.

Mikasa gritted her teeth, but didn’t object again. Levi went first, effortlessly leaping over to the next building. Eren next with almost as much ease. Armin jumped and almost toppled backwards when he landed, but Eren grabbed his flailing arm and pulled him forward to safety. Mikasa leapt across as easily as Levi had.

After a few buildings, they had a steady rhythm going, crossing the gaps with more and more ease. Finally, Levi decided they were far enough away and walked over to the edge of the building, looking down. He motioned to the others, pointing down at a small group of zombies milling around.

“Sound, right?” He whispered.

Armin nodded. 

“We can test the sound easy enough, but how will we prove that they can’t see otherwise?” Eren asked.

“Mikasa, can you go back to the apartment and bring back as many sheets as you can?” Armin asked.

Mikasa tilted her head curiously, but nodded. It took almost ten minutes, but she returned with an armload of bedding.

“We need to tie them together so they almost reach the ground,” Armin said.

The group got to work, not even questioning Armin’s orders, even if they were all curious. After they were done, Armin began to lower the sheets down like a rope. Once it was low enough he began to slowly swing it back and forth. The zombies completely ignored the motion, even when it was dangling right in their faces. After a little while, Armin hoisted the sheets back up and shrugged.

“Seems like pretty compelling evidence,” he said.

Levi walked over to the chimney of the building they were on and pulled off one of the top pieces. He went back to the edge and chucked it as hard as he could down the block away from their apartment. It shattered on impact with the street and almost immediately, inhuman groans sounded from the zombies and they began to move towards the sound.

“I’ll accept it as fact,” Mikasa shrugged.

“Same,” Eren agreed. Levi just nodded and Armin had the decency to look mildly surprised he had been right.

“Let’s go back,” Levi wrinkled his nose in disgust at the zombies below. Eren snorted softly in amusement, but turned away and lead the group back to the apartment.


	2. Year 1, the city part 2

It was a day later that the tv stopped playing anything but emergency broadcasts on all channels. It was a strange, disheartening moment, like the four of them trapped in an apartment in the middle of the city was all that was left of humanity.

A week after that, the power went out.

A few days longer and the group realized that they were going to have to go get more food if they were going to survive. All they had left was a few cans of corn and peas.

“Well,” Armin bit his lip. “We could start by scavenging in nearby apartments and buildings. Even if there are any zombies there, it would be safer than the streets.”

“Let’s split into two groups and each take a floor,” Eren suggested. “All of the non perishables we can carry.”

They all nodded. “Don’t forget to not speak louder than a whisper, if at all,” Armin added, like that wasn’t all they did these days.

Eren and Levi took the floor above theirs while Mikasa and Armin went through the apartments on the same one. They hoped that they would find other people locked in the apartments, a sign that they weren’t the only ones left, but with every apartment they scavenged, their hope dwindled. Levi was more than curious about Eren’s ability to pick the locks on all of the doors, but declined to comment on it as they were rooting around in other people’s pantries.

They worked in nervous silence until they were back in the relative safety of home, door back in it’s usual barricaded state once both groups were inside. While Eren busied himself helping Mikasa find places to stash their acquired goods, Levi found himself settled in the living room with Armin.

“How did you guys get into the apartments?” Levi asked after a few moments.

“Mikasa opened the doors,” Armin replied.

“She picked the locks?” Levi pushed.

“Yeah,” Armin nodded. “Eren did, too, right?”

Levi nodded. “That is an interesting skill for them to have.”

Armin smiled slightly. “I forgot you hadn’t been around them all that long before all of this went down.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?’ Levi narrowed his eyes.

Armin bit his lip and looked out the window into the street. “Their father wasn’t the best to them.”

Levi huffed. “Join the club, then.”

“I mean, he was raising them like they were going to be spies or something. It’s not really my place to talk about it, if you really want to know, ask Eren or wait for him to tell you himself. I’m sure he will eventually,” Armin shrugged. “Eren has a lot of… Talents that you wouldn’t expect from him. I’ve known the two of them for as long as I can remember.” 

Levi frowned. “Was he bad to them?”

“You mean abusive,” Armin clarified. “From what I know, I’d say yes, but I don’t have all of the details and I know that Mikasa didn’t get it as bad as Eren did. Again, you really need to talk to him.”

Levi growled softly. “I’ll kill their father if I ever meet him.”

Armin turned back to him and blinked. “He’s probably a zombie at this point. Just like my grandpa and whatever family you had. Plus, you shouldn’t stoop so low for the likes of Grisha Jeager.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I didn’t have any family. I made my way alone until Eren showed up.”

Armin narrowed his eyes slightly. “How did you pay for tuition alone?”

Levi tilted his head to the side. “Dirty money.”

Armin blinked several times. “Like, obtained illegally?”

“As I said, join the club,” Levi shrugged. “Does that bother you?”

Armin returned the gesture and looked back out the window. “What does it matter who we were before the apocalypse? All that matters is you’re here with us now. Whatever life you led before has given you skills that helped us survive so far, so why would it bother me?”

Levi shrugged again. “It probably would bother some people that I was a successful criminal at fourteen.”

“Why did you go to school?” Armin asked. “If you had a successful criminal career?”

Levi looked away. “It’s a long story.”

Armin looked back at Levi. “We have all the time in the world.”

“Another time,” Levi muttered.

“Alright,” Armin nodded. “But regardless, I don’t care who you were before. If anyone here isn’t deserving, it’s me. I’m the weakest link.”

“That’s bullshit,” Eren said. Both Armin and Levi turned to see him leaning against the frame of the door, arms crossed over his chest. “You’re the brains, Armin. You’ve already contributed more than anyone.”

“I doubt that,” Armin replied with a light laugh.

“It was your idea to scavenge nearby apartments for food and you are the one who deduced that the zombies hunt by sound,” Eren pointed out.

“Anyone could have figured those things out,” Armin rolled his eyes.

“We didn’t, you did,” Levi interjected.

Armin smiled slightly. “Thanks, guys,” he muttered.

“Speaking of which,” Eren said. “Armin, do you think we could kill the zombies if needed?”

Armin bit his lip thoughtfully. “Well, movies always talk about killing them with shots to the head, but why would that be true? I’d assume that any sort of fatal trauma should be sufficient. We could test it.”

“We need weapons for that,” Levi looked around. “I haven’t seen anything we can use here.”

Armin looked to the side, deep in thought. “Three buildings over there is a hardware store on the ground floor. We could get there from the rooftops. Once there, though, we’ll be exposed.”

“Let’s do it,” Eren nodded. “We can’t just assume that we’ll be safe here forever, we should be prepared.”

“How do we get to the ground floor from the roof?” Mikasa asked. She had popped her head in behind Eren not too long ago.

“I’m not sure yet,” Armin replied. “I’ll have to look at the building tomorrow.”

“Alright, we should eat and go to sleep,” Mikasa said. The group nodded in agreement.

Later that night, Eren came and sat on the floor next to Levi. “Hey,” he said softly, all of them already more accustomed to whispering than talking at normal volumes.

Levi nodded at him in reply. Eren sighed softly and let his body loll to the side, leaning against Levi’s strong frame. The older boy tensed slightly to support the unexpected weight, but he didn’t outwardly react otherwise.

“Hey, Levi?” Eren asked again.

“Hm?” Levi hummed in response.

“Are we still…” Eren drifted off, but he’d gotten his point across.

“I hardly think relationships are important at this time,” Levi replied.

Eren was quiet for a few moments before he spoke again. “You’re right, they’re not, but I really care about you and the fact that you’re with us makes me happy.”

Levi didn’t answer for a long time. “I wouldn’t have come to get you when this all started if I didn’t want to be with you.”

Eren laughed softly. “That feels like so long ago now.”

Levi nodded. “Eren, if we continue this relationship we had, would you be able to kill me if it was needed? If I was bitten and turning?”

Eren bit his lip and then nodded. “I know that I would want someone to take me out before I turned if I was bitten, so I would afford you the same kindness.”

“Are you certain you could do it?” Levi pressed.

“Could you if it were me?” Eren countered.

They both fell silent for a few minutes before Levi spoke. “I promise to keep you safe, no matter the cost.”

“I don’t need that, I just want you to stay with me,” Eren replied.

Levi nodded and leaned his head against Eren’s. “Okay.”

“But let’s make a pact,” Eren tilted his head so he could see Levi out of the corner of his eye.

“A pact?” Levi looked back at him the same way.

“Yeah, because if I have to die, I’d rather it be you who did it,” Eren smiled, but it was pained.

Levi huffed softly. “So we’re making a death pact? If one of us turns, the other will kill them?”

“Yeah,” Eren nodded. “Do you promise?”

“I promise,” Levi said after a moment.

“Me too,” Eren leaned forward and pressed his lips to Levi’s. “Sealed with a kiss,” he whispered as he pulled away.

Levi rolled his eyes, but pulled Eren against him. “Get some sleep, Brat.”

“Okay,” Eren yawned and slid down so he was laying on the ground, his head in Levi’s lap. After a moment, he spoke again “You’re only two years older than me, I’m not sure that’s enough to call me a brat all the time.”

“It’s enough because you are one,” Levi replied.

Eren snorted. “If that’s how you feel, I’ll go back to my bed…”

The harsh glare that Levi sent him wasn’t reflected in the gentleness with which he pulled Eren back against him. “Stay.”

Eren rolled on his side and hid his smile in Levi’s stomach. “Alright.”

They were both silent for a moment before Levi muttered, “Brat.”


	3. Year 1, the city part 3

“There’s no way,” Mikasa muttered. They were standing on the roof above the hardware store, looking down on the street. There was no way to get into the store from where they were.

“We’d have to go down the fire escape to the ground and go in the front,” Armin said quietly.

“Yeah, and look at all the zombies, we’d never make it,” Mikasa frowned.

Levi picked up a stick that looked to have been on the roof for some time and chucked it off to the side. The zombies shuffled off after the sound. “There, no zombies,” he shrugged.

“Yeah, until we get down there and they come back,” Mikasa crossed her arms and glared at Levi.

“No he’s on to something,” Armin interrupted.

“What?” Mikasa turned on him.

“If we split into teams like we did for getting food, two of us could go down and collect weapons and the other two could draw the zombies to another roof,” Armin said. “The only problem would be if there are any inside the store.”

“We can handle a little combat,” Levi said.

Eren nodded in agreement. “Levi and I will go down.”

“No, I want to go with you,” Mikasa objected.

“Mika,” Eren looked at her, warning in his eyes. “Levi will have my back. You and Armin go down a few buildings and get the zombies’ attention.”

Mikasa bit her lip, but turned away in a huff. “Come on, Armin,” she grumbled, leading Armin away. After a few minutes, Eren and Levi could hear them screaming, calling out to the zombies. The group of them on the street started to head towards the sound, leaving the area in front of the hardware store clear.

Eren lead Levi down the fire escape to the ground floor and into the store. Both of them froze and winced as a bell above the door tinkled. After a few seconds, Eren motioned to Levi to go one way and he set off the other. They collected as much as they could, filling four tool bags full of things that could be used as weapons. Hammers, blades, box cutters, and thing that appeared lethal and fit in the tool bags.

Eren froze when he got to the back of the store, a zombie milling idly in an isle. His eyes widened when he saw Levi come around the corner on the other side of the zombie. Eren motioned frantically, locking eyes with Levi. Levi held the eye contact and both of them nodded at each other, slowly backing up. Eren, however, bumped into a shelf behind him, knocking a can of paint down. He flinched as it crashed to the floor.

The zombie turned towards him, an inhuman howl screeching from its throat as it charged Eren. Eren grabbed the can of paint off the floor, prepared to swing it at the zombie’s head when it got close enough, but it never did. The zombie collapsed to the floor a few feet from Eren, a hatchet buried in it’s back. It twitched a few times and Levi pulled the hatchet out, and slammed it back down into the zombie, right where the thing’s heart should have been. The zombie stopped twitching.

“Any fatal blows seem to work,” Levi muttered.

Eren looked at him with wide eyes. “You were testing Armin’s theories while I was in mortal danger?”

Levi shook his head. “It was just instinct to hit it there. Would have incapacitated a human, too, which is what I’m used to fighting.”

Eren blinked at him a few times before he fell forward and clutched Levi in a tight hug. “Thank you. You saved me.”

Levi hugged him back quickly before he pushed Eren back. “We have to get back up to the roof.”

Eren nodded and lead the way out of the store. Once they were outside, Mikasa and Armin still drawing the attention of the zombies away Eren bit his lip. “Um, the ladder snapped back up,” he pointed out.

Levi glanced over at where the zombies were gathering and then back at the ladder. “If you jump, do you think you can reach it?”

Eren looked sceptical, but nodded. “I can try.”

On the first jump, the ladder remained out of his reach. On the second one, he managed to brush it with his fingers. On the third one, he grasped it, but slipped off it. The ladder clanked loudly back into place and both heads snapped to the group of zombies, some of which were definitely now paying attention to them.

“Fuck,” Levi hissed. “Boost me.”

“What?” Eren’s eyes shot over to Levi.

“They hear us, lift me up there, dammit,” Levi exclaimed, louder than any of them had spoken in days.

Eren hesitated for less than a second before he grabbed Levi around the waist and tossed him in the air like he was some kind of gymnast or cheerleader. Levi grabbed the ladder and it slid down with his weight. Eren started handing him up the bags, glancing over his shoulder as he did, the zombies closing in. Armin and Mikasa’s frantic screams seeming to do nothing as a group of zombies broke off, charging Eren and Levi.

Handing Levi the last bag, Eren grabbed the ladder himself and they both climbed up quickly. The ladder snapped back into place just as the zombies reached the fire escape.

They both looked down panting and Eren turned to grin at Levi. “Well, that was a close call,” he gasped out.

They climbed the fire escape and boosted themselves back onto the roof. Once there, they collapsed to the ground, the adrenaline that had coursed through their veins dulled down, leaving them both feeling breathless and weak. 

“I said lift me, not throw me like a doll,” Levi wheezed out.

“I didn’t mean to throw you, you were lighter than I expected,” Eren gasped back.

Levi sent him a weak glare. “We will never speak of this again.”

Eren laughed breathily. “Whatever you say.”

At that moment, Mikasa skidded to a stop just to their side, gasping from having sprinted across the rooftops. “Are you okay?!” she hissed out.

“Fine. We’re fine,” Eren smiled up at her. “Just let us rest for a sec.”

Armin appeared a few moments later. “That was impressive,” he said.

“What?” Eren leaned back, looking at Armin upside down.

“That toss. You threw Levi like it was nothing,” Armin laughed.

Levi groaned softly and Eren blinked at Armin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Armin. I jumped and grabbed the ladder,” Eren said innocently.

“Levi being a throwable object might come in handy later,” Mikasa said, raising her eyebrows.

“If you don’t shut the fuck up, I’m not giving you any of my weapons,” Levi grunted out. “And I won’t let Eren tell you about what we found out in the hardware store.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes but Eren grinned and stood, offering a hand to Levi. “You never know, Levi. She might be right.”

Levi glared, even as he accepted Eren’s hand. “And if you say one more word, I’ll take back everything I said last night.”

Eren pouted, but didn’t open his mouth again. The four of them made their way back to the apartment and started sorting out the weapons.

“So, Armin was right,” Eren said as they worked.

“About what?” Armin asked.

“Any fatal trauma will kill a zombie,” Eren held up the hatchet that Levi had used on the zombie in the hardware store. “Levi killed one in the store by hitting it with this.”

“Where the heart should be,” Levi added.

Mikasa’s face darkened. “There was one in the store?”

“We knew that was a possibility when we came up with this plan,” Eren said calmly.

“I knew I should have gone with you,” Mikasa countered.

“Why? Levi protected me just fine,” Eren blinked at his sister.

MIkasa bristled and turned away, storming off into the bedrooms. There was silence left in the wake of her anger, the sets of eyes following her departure.

Armin sighed after a moment. “I’ll go talk to her,” he said softly and he followed her into the bedroom.

“So,” Armin settled on the floor next to Mikasa. “Why do you hate him so much?”

Mikasa sighed. “I don’t… Hate him.”

Armin leaned his head against Mikasa’s shoulder. “Okay. Why do you always fight with him?”

“It’s nothing, Armin,” Mikasa looked away.

Armin looked up at her from his position and frowned. “Mika, how long have we been together? You, me and Eren. We’ve been nearly inseparable since we were what, five? You are like a sister to me, just as Eren is like a brother. I think, after all this time, I am able to tell when you’re angry about something.”

Mikasa huffed softly. “That’s just it,” she finally said. “It’s been you and me and Eren for so long that it almost hurts the way Eren let someone new in so easily.”

Armin remained quiet for a while before he responded. “We’ve always known it would happen, though, didn’t we? Eren isn’t like us. You and I aren’t social like he is. He’s the type of person who attracts others to him. Up until Levi, he’s kept others at arm’s length, by nature of what he is, but things are different now. The world has changed and Levi has already shown that he can protect himself from… everything. Even Eren. Maybe it isn’t such a bad thing that Eren has another person he can rely on. Plus, Levi’s presence seems to be a good thing for Eren’s mental state.  _ Levi _ killed the zombie in the store. That means Levi’s calmed Eren enough that he didn’t… Pull an Eren.”

“And that also bothers me,” Mikasa muttered. “I should be happy that someone can keep Eren calm, but I’m jealous.”

“I understand,” Armin murmured. “But we have to be a family now. The four of us. For all we know, we’re the only humans left in the world and we have to be able to rely on each other.”

Mikasa nodded. “I’ll try… Thanks, Armin.”

Armin smiled. “Anytime.”


	4. Year 1, the city part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I was so busy yesterday I forgot to post! I intend to post Mondays, but apparently sometimes Tuesday will be a thing.

“It’s  _ cold _ ,” Eren whimpered. He and Levi were cuddled as close as humanly possible under one of the few blankets in the apartment.

Levi huffed softly. “Who thought it was a good idea to schedule the apocalypse in February?”

“Whoever it was needs a swift kick in the nuts,” Mikasa grumbled. She and Armin were under a second blanket, barely a foot away.

“We have to go pillage more apartments,” Armin offered.

“We don’t need more food yet,” Eren poked his head up from where he had been torturing Levi by pressing his cold nose into his neck.

“No, but we need to be warm,” Armin frowned. “At this rate, we’ll die of exposure in this apartment before the zombies can get us. More blankets, extra clothes, things to burn… Anything we can use to keep warm.”

“We do have a fireplace, but we’ve never used it,” Eren bit his lip.

Armin nodded. “We’re going to have to use it. It’s too cold not to.”

“The only question I have is do we do it now or do we wait for morning?” Mikasa shivered slightly as if to punctuate her sentence.

“I think we should go now,” Eren bit his lip. “We can visit the apartments we have already been to so we know they’re clear. It’s not like we’re going to sleep otherwise, we’re all shivering too hard.”

Armin nodded. “One of ours was clearly previously owned by an old lady. Lots of afghans and candles. Candles will be important because once we get a fire going, we shouldn’t let it go out. Things like matches and lighters will be a rare commodity.”

“Alright, we had the Jewish neighbors. They Shabbat candles like, stockpiled,” Eren stood, wrapping his arms around himself.

“Okay, let’s go. Get anything you think will be useful for warmth,” Armin stood, too.

“I’ve never thought that we didn’t have enough blankets at home until the heat stopped working during winter,” Mikasa muttered.

The group split into two to go back through the apartments they had already raided for food, making multiple trips back and forth with blankets, sweaters, jackets, candles, matches, lighters, and books. Once they were finished, they looked over the haul. Armin and Mikasa had even found some slow burning logs in one apartment where the people seemed to actually have used their fireplace before.

As Eren, Levi and Mikasa began pulling on extra layers, Armin began sorting books. “Eren, we can’t burn these, they’re holy books. ‘Passover Haggadah’ seems to be pretty important, I bet it would be like burning a bible. Why’d you even bring them back?”

Eren shrugged. “There were a lot of them and I figured… Everyone’s dead so how right could the book be? We’re the only ones left. If it makes you feel better, I’m pretty sure Dad has a bible around here somewhere and we can burn that, too.”

“If it makes me feel better we can burn a bible? What is wrong with you?” Armin looked scandalized.

“They’re a lot wrong with me Armin, starting with the fact that I’m freezing and in no mood to joke around. If you don’t want to burn the religious books, put them somewhere else, but let’s get this fire started,” Eren growled, his voice taking a dangerous tone that had Armin stepping back instinctively. He’d heard this before, but it had never been directed at him and he had never wanted to be on the receiving end of what usually came after. Mikasa stepped forward, her posture seeming defensive, almost like she was ready to step between Armin and Eren and protect the blonde.

“Hey,” Levi said, moving before anyone else could and placing a hand on Eren’s forearm. “You okay?”

“I’m fine,” Eren said softly, taking several slow, deep breath, looking at the hand like it surprised him. “Thanks. We should start with the actual logs, anyway.”

Armin nodded, shaking himself out of the fear that had painted his face. “And then we can burn the dictionaries that the old lady had. We’re never going to need those.”

“Maybe as bludgeon weapons,” Mikasa joked weakly.

The tension in the room slowly lifted as Levi got a fire going and the four of them huddled around it’s warmth, sighing contently. “We should insulate the apartment, too,” Armin said after a while. “Hang some of these extra blankets on the doors and windows to keep the warmth inside.”

Eren nodded. “But let’s do that tomorrow. Right now I’m way too comfortable to move again.”

Mikasa stood and went to the kitchen for a moment before coming back with four water bottles they had gotten from one of the apartments. She handed them out before settling back into her spot.

Armin eyed the water bottle. “I was also thinking about that.”

“What?” Mikasa looked confused.

“Water. What happens when we run out? We don’t have running taps anymore,” Armin bit his lip.

“That is a good point,” Levi nodded. “So what do we do, genius?”

“We probably should collect water when it snows or rains,” Armin said thoughtfully. With roof access like we have, it won’t be too hard to set out pots to get it. Reuse all of the bottles we drink from and try keep as much on hand as possible. Just imagine, if we collect enough water, we could eat cooked pasta again.”

“It hasn’t been that long but I’m pretty sure I’ve already forgotten what it’s like to eat cooked food,” Eren groaned softly.

Levi squeezed him gently. Even though they were both now wrapped in several extra layers, surrounded by blankets in front of the fire, they were still cuddled close together. Eren felt himself growing sleepy, his eyes heavy as he looked up at his boyfriend from his position cuddled against his chest.

“Hey,” he muttered.

Levi looked down at him. “Hm?”

“I love you,” Eren whispered.

Levi blinked at him in surprise. “You… What?”

Eren smiled sleepily. “I love you.”

Mikasa made a sound low in her throat, almost akin to a growl and Eren looked at her as Armin reached out a hand to rest it gently on her arm, shaking his head.

Levi seemed oblivious to the interaction. “You love me,” he said, sounding almost confused.

Eren turned back to him. “Is that so hard to believe?” he asked.

Levi looked away. “No.”

Eren hummed softly. “That’s good.”

“It makes everything more complicated, though,” Levi whispered.

“What?” Eren’s brow furrowed.

“Could you still do it? Hold up your end of the pact?” Levi stared at the fire.

Eren nodded. “Of course I could. I already knew I loved you when we made the pact.”

Levi hesitated and then nodded. “I wouldn’t be able to,” he replied softly.

Eren frowned. “Then... You…”

Levi didn’t respond. He just shook his head minutely and then stood, knocking Eren from his lap. “I’ll be right back,” he muttered and retreated to the kitchen.

Eren swallowed thickly, refusing to let the tears that threatened to fall. Eren had known he loved Levi since before the apocalypse, but if Levi didn’t love him, then was he only with Eren because he was there? Now that it was only the four of them it wasn’t like their options were abundant. Maybe Eren was just… The best of what Levi had to choose from.

Mikasa growled again and stood, storming after Levi into the kitchen. After a moment, hushed but angry voices could be heard from within. It was quiet enough that Eren and Armin couldn’t make out the words being said, but the tone was clear enough. Armin looked after them for a moment before he scooted closer to Eren.

“Are you okay,” he whispered.

Eren blinked at him like he was crazy. “I’m… I’m just a warm body for Levi to hold.”

Armin bit his lip. “Maybe. Or maybe he was trying to tell you something else.”

“What else could it be?” Eren hissed, anger flashing in his eyes behind the sadness.

“What pact did you make?” Armin asked instead, his voice calm.

“That if one of us turned, the other would kill them,” Eren huffed.

“I thought it might be something like that,” Armin nodded. “I think it’s interesting that his response was to bring that up.”

“Why?” Eren sighed. He knew that Armin would eventually get to his point, he just had to wait.

“Because, Eren, not everyone is as determined and resilient as you,” Armin smiled. “I think that what Levi was trying to tell you is that even if you tell him you love him, he can’t admit to himself that he feels the same, even if he does. What I see is Levi made you a promise with that pact and he intends to not let you down, even if that means he has to suffocate his emotions - his love - for you. I don’t think Levi is the kind of person who would hold on to you just because you are a ‘warm body’. I think he loves you but can’t let himself admit it so he could keep up the promise he made to you.”

Eren sighed. “I hope you’re right,” he whispered. The tears he had been holding back began to fall freely. “I really hope you’re right.”

“Eren,” Levi stood in the doorway, looking at him. Eren turned his head away, trying to hide his tears.

Armin sighed. He patted Eren’s shoulder gently. “Just think about what I said.”

Eren shrugged as Armin stood and walked past Levi into the kitchen.

Levi came over and knelt next to Eren. “I didn’t mean to make you cry.”

Eren shrugged again, turning his face as far away from Levi as he could. “It’s fine… I’m going to go to sleep. It’s been a long day.”

Levi sighed and pulled Eren into his arms. “I don’t want to be the reason you cry,” he muttered. “If I can’t make you happy the… The way you want me to, at least let me comfort you this way.”

Eren sighed, but didn’t pull away. “Is it just because we are all that are left?”

Levi shook his head. “No.”

“Why, then? Why do you want to hold me?” Eren said, more venom in his voice than he had originally intended.

“Because I want to,” Levi huffed. “Let me.”

Eren allowed himself to relax against Levi. “I meant it, you know. I love you.”

“I know,” Levi whispered and squeezed Eren tighter.


	5. Year 1, the city part 5 [WAY'S GUEST SMUT CHAPTER]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I was talking to my friend, TheWaywardSong, about how she never gets to write smut and how this makes her sad because she is quite good at it so I offered to let her write a guest chapter for this fic.  
> Thusly, this chapter is 100% her creation and I love it soooo much!  
> If you enjoyed this, definitely go check out her stuff (even though thus far she has only written for Yuri!!! on Ice). I'll never stop singing her praises, she's such a good writer!!! And her art is super cute, so definitely look her up.

Eren couldn’t fall asleep. He could hear Mikasa and Armin’s deep breathing just across the room and in the flickering firelight he could see the rise and fall of their bodies as they slept on. 

 

They had kept the fire going, though in the early hours of the morning it was small flames and smouldering coals, just enough that they would be able to kindle it once more in the morning. Eren snuggled against Levi, his body letting out a violent shiver as he searched for the smaller man’s warmth. 

 

“Oi, careful,” Levi murmured as Eren rolled into him. The blanket draped across them pulled away so Eren’s back was exposed to the cold once more. 

 

“I’m sorry. I-I didn’t know you were awake,” Eren apologized softly, his voice barely a whisper above the crackle of the fire. Levi wrapped an arm around Eren’s waist and pulled him closer to his chest, tucking the blanket in around his backside. 

 

“It’s impossible to sleep in this damn cold,” Levi hissed. Running a hand along Levi’s forearm, searching for warmth in the friction, Eren could feel the raised hair and goosebumps that decorated his porcelain skin. For all the heat Eren gave off, his body still shivered at their gentle touches as the two moved closer together. 

 

Absently, Eren pressed his lips softly to Levi’s chest, right against his collarbone, eliciting a soft groan from the raven. The groan sent a shiver, this time not from the frigid temperature, tickling down Eren’s spine. Curious to draw out more, he pressed another kiss against the soft flesh where Levi’s neck met his shoulder. 

 

“What do you think you’re doing?” Levi huffed, breathless as Eren’s kisses to his neck became firmer and quicker, covering the expanse of his neck as if they were cartographing a map. 

 

In the fire’s amber glow, Eren’s green gaze met the gunmetal eyes that surveyed him under hooded lids, pupils blown wide from the dim light alone but there was an inkling of desire that pooled in the depths. Entranced by the other’s hungry stare, Levi found his lips pressed on Eren’s, unsure of who had leaned toward the other. 

 

It was a dance that needed no rehearsal. Kisses soft, yet demanding, began to multiply between them, changing from soft promises to burning questions. Pulling away, leaving Eren open mouthed and wanting, Levi looked over to the room’s other occupants, sleeping soundly under layers of blankets. 

 

“We should stop.” As the older of the two it was his duty to be the responsible one, despite the fact it may have been he who had first darted his tongue between Eren’s lips.  A whine of a pant came from Eren as he followed Levi’s gaze to his sister and his friend. 

 

“What if we didn’t?” came Eren’s quiet response. Levi’s eyes darkened as Eren bit his lip, lashes fluttering as he drew closer once more. Levi tried to press his mouth into a firm line, they were in the middle of an apocalypse for fuck’s sake, it was no time to be writhing around especially with others sleeping just feet away. 

 

Levi was given no chance to respond before Eren’s lips were on his again, slow this time, asking permission. He choked back a sigh as his lips complied. He knew better, they both did. Yet the thoughts that scolded him were quickly becoming just a silent nagging in the back of his mind as his lips continued dancing with Eren’s. 

 

The blanket fell off Levi’s back as Eren’s hands wrapped in the folds, pressed against his boyfriend’s chest. Feeling the shiver echo from Levi’s spine into their kiss, he reached to pull the blanket back in place and his hand brushed against Levi’s erection. Still a bit soft, but firmly present as the back of Eren’s hand dragged across it. Levi shivered again, though this time it wasn’t from the cold air. 

 

Eren refrained from thinking too much before he pressed his palm against the growing hardness between them. Levi bit back a groan, pulling back from their kiss as Eren’s hand pressed insistently against him, fingers softly caressing his hidden length. 

 

“Eren,” Levi hissed softly. He was met with those hypnotic pools of green, playfully daring him to stop. 

 

“I’m warming you up,” Eren explained, his hand finding the growing erection once more. Levi’s eyes rolled, in part from Eren’s sorry excuse for his actions but mostly at the sensation of his firm hand. His hips rolled into Eren’s hand of their own accord and Levi managed to stifle yet another groan as his eyes darted over to Mikasa and Armin’s sleeping forms. His own hands began to wander as he felt Eren begin to lightly pepper kisses against the crook of his neck once more. 

 

Eren grinned as he felt Levi’s hips press forward, his fingers playing with the hem of his boyfriend’s many shirts as his lips ghosted over the alabaster skin that glowed in the firelight. Every stifled groan only encouraged him as he moved his hand under the fabrics, feeling the ripple of muscle contract at his touch. 

 

“Your hands are warm,” Levi murmured blissfully, relaxing into Eren’s touch as much as he could given the circumstances. The younger boy grinned and dipped his hands down into the layers Levi wore around his hips, clothes they had pilfered from their earlier expeditions, until they found the smooth skin of Levi’s cock. He was proud of the soft sigh he heard in return for his efforts, rewarded with a squeeze on his ass courtesy of Levi’s wandering hands. 

 

Kisses turned to gentle nips and Eren felt Levi nose his chin aside to bury his mouth along his exposed neck. He sucked gently, not quite hard enough to leave a mark, which was good since Eren knew his eagle eyed sister would surely spot it. She didn’t need another reason to dislike Levi. A sharp nip sent a shock down Eren’s spine and his hips instinctively rolled forward into Levi’s, their erections brushing through the multiple layers, Levi’s cock still covered by Eren’s hand.

 

“L-Levi,” Eren breathed, his voice hitching to a whine as he felt Levi’s hand on his ass, squeezing and pulling his hips to brush forward again. Immediately Levi halted his motions, raising his head so he was hovering over Eren. His silver eyes flickered dangerously and his arousal was evident, with a cocked brow and an amused smile he leaned forward so his lips brushed against Eren’s ear. 

 

“If you make a sound, I’ll stop.” Levi’s words may have been whispered but they carried the threat harshly through the silence of the room. His eyes darted over to the rest of their group, sleeping soundly, Eren followed his gaze and when their eyes met again he nodded, pressing his lips together firmly to confirm his silence. With a grin Levi lowered himself again, nestling into Eren’s neck to continue his assault as he grinded forward. 

 

Sworn to silence, Eren wrapped a hand around Levi’s cock and slowly began to move, finding a rhythm with the subtle thrust of his boyfriend’s hips. A few drops of precum dribbled down the head and onto Eren’s fingers, slicking his motions as he continued to stroke. Levi remained silent, encouraging Eren with nips and squeezes until his hand ventured away from cupping the swell of Eren’s ass to the erection pressing against his thigh. He mimicked Eren’s own motions, wrapping his free hand around the length and swiping a thumb over his head to collect the precum and slick his strokes. It was all Eren could do to stay silent, never having been touched before. The sensation was different, having someone else’s hand wrapped around him, his own hand slowed on Levi’s cock as he focused on breathing through the first few strokes to his own member. He didn’t want Levi to stop and tried to stifle his groans before they could escape his lips. 

 

Levi knew this. It was evident on the impish smile painted on his face, darkened by the shadows of the smoldering fire. While Eren had been content to continue the same rhythm of strokes, Levi’s more experienced hand began to explore, cupping Eren’s balls and paying attention to the head itself. In response Eren’s cock twitched excitedly and his lips were caught in a hungry kiss. 

 

When Levi pulled away he removed his hands, placing his elbows on either side of Eren so he was hovering just above him. A single finger, glistening with precum, found its way between Eren’s lips. Wide eyed, Eren obediently cleaned it off and Levi’s finger pressed against his lips, reminding him to be silent. With a shark tooth grin, Levi dove under the blankets and Eren felt him push aside the bottom layers, his cock springing free while the bands of his pants still hugged his ass. 

 

Eren nearly squealed when he felt Levi’s lips on his length, the warmth and wetness of his mouth bringing on new sensations. He gripped the blankets tightly with his free hands, trying to focus on staying silent as Levi began to bob down. 

 

He wasn’t sure how long Levi was down there, licking, sucking, humming along Eren’s cock. Eren could feel the heat pooling in the pit of his stomach, tightening in his balls and threatening to break through. Unable to make a sound made the build up more intense, without the soft release of a moan or whimper all of the pleasure was contained within him and he could feel the dam about to burst. Finally, he dug a hand into Levi’s raven tresses and tugged to bring his boyfriend up above the blankets. 

 

Levi smiled lazily as he came up for air, the precum and saliva still glistening on his lips as he admired Eren. Blissed out, flushed, and panting, he was beautiful. 

 

“I-you-I want.” Eren’s voice could barely be heard even in the silence of the room. Levi leaned down to hear him better, his silver eyes watching patiently as he regained his breath. 

 

“I’m close, I want you.”

 

“You have me,” Levi chuckled, making a motion to dip under the blankets once more before Eren leaned up, pressing a hand to Levi’s chest to stop him. 

“I want you, inside me.” 

 

Levi faltered for a moment but as breathless as he was, Eren’s firm gaze made it clear he was serious. For a moment neither boy moved, wanting stares passed between them until Levi dipped down and captured Eren’s lips for another kiss. It was different this time, slow and firm. 

 

Adjusting their position, Levi settled between Eren’s legs, sparing a glance to confirm that the figures on the other side of the room were still sleeping. He brought the blankets to rest on his shoulders and tugged at Eren’s remaining bottom layers. 

 

“All the way off...you can take them off.” Eren managed, those green eyes never straying from Levi. 

 

“It’s too cold.”

 

“I don’t care. Please, it’s my first time and I want…” 

 

Eren didn’t need to finish his sentence, the remaining words trailing off into the night. Levi understood and his eyes softened from their intense hunger as he slowly peeled off the layers until Eren was exposed from the waist down. They paused a moment, drinking each other in at the exposure, before a tentative kiss spurred things on further. 

 

Precum still leaked from Eren’s throbbing cock and Levi swiped his index finger to collect the stream before placing a fingertip at his boyfriend’s exposed entrance. Leaning down onto his elbow propped beside Eren’s messy brunet locks, Levi pushed his finger in as he pressed his lips to Eren’s, catching the involuntary gasp that left his lips. The lubrication wasn’t ideal, though it helped, there was still a drag to the stretch as Levi began to move slowly, keeping a gentle rhythm until Eren’s bucking hips signalled he was ready for more. 

 

Gathering more precum, Levi gently wiggled another finger in beside the other, repeating the kiss from before. He could hear the soft mewls captured in Eren’s throat as he tried to remain silent, the only sound to be heard was the soft ruffle of blankets as they accommodated the activity. After a third finger made its way inside, Levi began to scissor them gently. He watched Eren’s eyes roll back as he arched away from the floor. He couldn’t help but grin, satisfied that he had found that spot to bring such pleasure to the beautiful boy splayed out beneath him. 

 

“Levi,” Eren gasped in a breathless whimper. 

 

“Are you sure, we could-”

 

Levi was cut off with a firm shake of Eren’s head. “No. I want this-you, please.”

Nodding, Levi removed his fingers slowly, one by one until he saw disappointment flash across Eren’s face at the emptiness. Patience wasn’t Eren’s strongest virtue. Levi pushed down the layers wrapped around his hips, freeing his leaking erection. Eren couldn’t help but watch, his lips agape but silent as he drank in the sight of Levi’s length, standing proud and hard against his stomach. It should have been intimidating, the boy’s silver eyes watching him from lowered lids, but Eren felt excitement tingle from the base of his spine to the crown of his neck. 

 

Levi spread his own precum down his length, giving himself a few gentle tugs to coat himself the best he could. Nothing about their situation was ideal, but all the factors fell away so it was just Eren and Levi as the older boy lowered himself down, pulling blankets around his shoulder to try and contain the warmth. 

 

Eren felt the soft head of Levi’s cock pressed at his puckered entrance. As his boyfriend slowly pressed inside, Eren’s teeth found their way to his forearm to try and stifle his moans. Levi pushed the arm away, still pressing forward at a slow, nearly agonizing pace, pressing a kiss to Eren that was just as languid. 

 

Once Levi was seated inside him, Eren managed to open his eyes. His jaw hung open, panting, quietly yet dangerously close to the noises that might wake the two slumbering members of the group. The pair spoke with their eyes, pools of green giving the silver permission to move. Just as slowly as he had entered, Levi obeyed, his hips dragging his cock out before pressing in once more. 

 

Each sound was captured in a kiss that matched the quickening rhythm of the thrusts as Eren opened further and began to relax to the sensation of being filled and stretched. Subtle pain turned to delightful pleasure as the two moved together and the blankets began to fall from Levi’s shoulders, exposing them to the cold air. Neither one cared. Neither one noticed. Their bodies created their own heat as their hips rocked together, Eren’s thrusts meeting Levi’s as he began to grow confident in the movement. Still unsure, but quickly learning. 

 

As they found their tempo, again Levi’s hand found its way around Eren’s cock. He matched the cadence of his own hips to the stokes of the throbbing length until he could visibly see Eren trying to hold back. Heat and pleasure pooled together and each chased their orgasm, not a race but a climb they took together. Sweat beaded along Eren’s brow, matched by the dampness in Levi’s raven hair. The older boy removed his lips from Eren, eliciting a barely audible whine before his lips brushed against Eren’s ear. 

 

“Let go,” Levi invited him. His hips began to piston inside the boy, the pace of his strokes quickening as they approached the climax they had begun to chase. It was poetic, finding such pleasure and comfort in each other on a dark, frigid night when the outlook was just as bleak. In the moment they had each other, they could pretend things weren’t falling apart around them. 

 

At Levi’s words, Eren came undone. Lifting from the ground as he received Levi’s final thrusts before his boyfriend joined him in the thrills of orgasm. Eren’s tightness pulsed around Levi’s length as he pulled himself from Eren to finish beside his boyfriend’s spent cock. Consumed in the bliss of the moment, Levi fell beside Eren and pulled him close.

 

“Wait!” Eren breathed, angling his body away so he wouldn’t spill the cum that painted his hips and stomach. With a crinkle of his nose, Levi pulled off his outermost layer of shirts and wiped away the glistening fluid. He wrapped a blanket around his waist and crawled to the dying fire, offering the shirt as kindling to the crackling coals. The fire accepted the offering, toasting the hem of the shirt before the flames took hold. 

 

In the brightness, Levi made his way back beside Eren who had managed to dress himself though he neglected a few layers, still reeling from the heat they had produced. The two settled under the blankets and Levi pulled his boyfriend close, pressing his lips to the soft chestnut locks. 

 

“I love you,” Eren whispered into Levi’s chest. He could hear the pounding of Levi’s heart, his head rose and fell with the rhythm of the older boy’s breathing and he could hear the Levi gulp back a breath before responding. 

 

“I know.”

 

It was all Levi could offer in the moment. He clutched Eren’s shoulders and pulled him tight, their bodies quivering together, not from the chill of the air but the aftermath of sex. 

 

Levi could feel Eren’s breathing pattern settle into the bliss of sleep. He only wished he could join him, that their situation was different, that he too could accept sleep’s invitation. 

 

“I know…” he said once more, letting his words and everything behind them disappear into the silence that settled around them.


	6. Year 1, the city part 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaaaand Tuesday again.... oops.

It took them four months, but the group managed to exhaust the resources in their apartment building. Over those same four months, Eren and Levi had several more intimate encounters, but Levi wasn’t any closer to saying those three little words to Eren. However, Eren had come to accept it, this one sided love, because Levi still gave himself to Eren in more ways than one, even without the words. He desperately wanted to believe in Armin’s words from that night all those months ago so he let himself think that was the truth behind Levi’s quiet ‘I know’s or accepting non responses everytime Eren said ‘I love you’.

As they looked at the supplies they had left, Armin sighed. “We’re going to have to branch out to nearby buildings.”

“Our building is clear, but we don’t know what’s waiting for us in other ones,” Mikasa pointed out.

“Well, we didn’t know ours was zombie free until we cleared it,” Eren shrugged.

“We can’t survive without more food,” Levi said, a frown on his lips.

“And going through other buildings is still safer than trying to make our way outside,” Armin agreed.

“Okay, same routine as usual. Two groups, each taking a separate floor, as many non perishables as we can carry,” Eren nodded. “We’ll get in using the fire escape on the building next to ours. Pretty sure a little breaking and entering won’t go against us these days.”

Mikasa reached out and grabbed Eren’s arms. “I don’t want the usual groups. I don’t want you alone with Levi this time.”

“The usual groups have been very effective up until now,” Eren frowned. “What’s different this time?”

“The last time we left the building you were in a lot of danger. The zombie in the store, the ladder, it was all too close for comfort,” Mikasa replied.

Eren sighed. “Fine. Levi, you’re with Mikasa, Armin you’re with me.”

Mikasa opened her mouth to object, but the dark look Eren sent her had her closing it faster than she would like to admit. Armin laid a hand on her shoulder and offered a small smile. “We’ll be fine. Plus, you and Eren can’t be together, you’re the only ones who can pick the locks on the doors.”

“Alright, let’s do this,” Eren grinned at his friends and lead the way to the roof.

Once on their floors, Armin and Eren at the top and Levi and Mikasa a floor below, both Eren and Mikasa jimmied their windows open. With one last glance below them, Eren hissed down, “play nice, you two.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes and Levi didn’t respond before they were all seperating to do their jobs. Armin and Eren didn’t have any trouble on their floor. It went quickly, filling the tool bags Levi and Eren had picked up with canned goods. They made their way through the apartments, cataloging what would be of use and where it was before returning to theirs.

“Mikasa and Levi aren’t back yet,” Armin observed.

“We did go pretty fast,” Eren mused as they moved to the kitchen to put away their haul. “Or they’re just fighting and not getting anything done.”

Armin laughed softly. “I guess that’s the problem with being the same person.”

“What?” Eren frowned.

“You can’t tell me you haven’t noticed that the two of them are remarkably similar,” Armin giggled. “I honestly believe that’s why they don’t get along.”

Eren grinned. “I guess you’re right,” he laughed, but the laughter died on his lips as a thud came from the living room followed by Mikasa’s frantic voice.

“Eren! Armin! Help!!” She cried out.

Eren felt his heart drop as he raced to the living room with Armin in his heels. Mikasa was kneeling on the floor next to Levi who had blood running down his forehead and he was clutching his leg like his life depended on it. He was conscious, but Eren wasn’t sure that was a good thing, the look on his face a mix between rage and pain.

“What happened?” Eren demanded, falling to his knees next to Levi.

“I thought you said he was light,” Mikasa grunted, purposely dodging Eren’s question.

“If… If you make… Fun of me  _ now _ ,” Levi hissed out between clenched teeth.

Mikasa huffed softly and looked away. “We think his leg’s broken.”

“Eren, move,” Armin all but shoved Eren out of the way, kneeling next to Levi. “This is bad.”

“What can we do?” Eren asked.

“We have to set his leg,” Armin bit his lip. “It’s clearly broken with the way it’s swelling, but I don’t know how bad or much else that the obvious.”

“Can you do it?” Eren asked.

Armin’s shoulders slumped. “No.”

“What do you mean, no?” Eren growled.

“I would risk making it worse!” Armin looked up at Eren desperately. “I was planning on going to med school after high school, but I was only a sophomore, Eren! I did research on my own, but I know I can’t fix this! Not with the ace bandage in the medicine cabinet and some ibuprofen.”

“What do you need?” Eren asked.

“A hospital?” Armin suggested, his brows furrowed.

“Armin,” Eren hissed, his voice filled with warning tones.

“I’m not kidding,” Armin crossed his arms. “We need to x-ray his leg to make sure there isn’t any more damage than the broken bone, we need to set it and put a cast on it. And it’s all going to hurt like a bitch. Some medical grade painkillers won’t go wrong.”

“It already hurts like a bitch,” Levi ground out.

“Armin, there’s no power,” Eren took a deep breath, his eyes shooting to Levi.

“No, but hospitals have generators to keep life support running in case of power outage,” Mikasa said, standing up. “The closest one is Mercy, six blocks away.”

“How are we supposed to get Levi six blocks?” Eren muttered. “And it’s been months, the generators probably aren’t running any more.”

“Was there fuel in the hardware store?” Armin asked. Eren nodded. “Alright, we need that. Eren, can you go alone?”

“It’s safer in pairs,” Mikasa cut in.

“Yes,” Armin agreed. “But I have to get a splint on Levi’s leg, and I’d rather not risk getting punched while doing it.”

“You want me to hold him down while you splint his leg?” Mikasa raised her eyebrows.

“Yes. Eren, can you do it?” Armin looked up at Eren.

Eren stood and walked to the window. “I’ll be back in less than ten minutes,” Eren said. “Figure out how we’re going to get him to the hospital.”

“That ibuprofen isn’t sounding too bad right now,” Levi hissed.

“It’s barely going to touch the pain you’re in,” Armin frowned. “We’ll get you something stronger at the hospital.”

Eren paused and walked back, kneeling down next to Levi. He leaned forward and pressed his lips to Levi’s before he smiled. “We’re going to fix you up, don’t you worry.” Levi nodded quickly, his teeth still clenched together.

“Eren, wait,” Armin reached out as Eren was halfway out the window.

“What?” Eren paused.

“We need a wheelbarrow, too,” Armin said.

“I can’t carry a wheelbarrow up the fire escape,” Eren looked skeptical.

“Leave the wheelbarrow by the front door. We’re going to have to walk there,” Armin bit his lip. “There’s no other way. We can’t take the roofs with Levi like this and we wouldn’t make it across the streets anyway. We are going to have to take the roads.”

“How are we supposed to do that?” Eren asked.

“Well… We’re going to have to put Levi in it,” Armin said. “The wheelbarrow, I mean. I’m still working on this in my head, but I think this is the best option.”

Eren nodded and witht that, he was gone. Ten minutes later, he returned, clanking two canisters of fuel down on the ground. He looked around and saw that Levi’s leg was splinted up, a sheen of sweat covering his body, making his clothes stick to him, probably because of the pain. Armin and Mikasa were sitting next to him, Armin looking up at Eren’s return.

“All good?” Armin asked.

“Yeah,” Eren replied. “The wheelbarrow is out front. I brought these back...”

Armin stood and looked at a small handful of gumballs Eren was holding out. “Why?”

Eren motioned to Levi. “Like biting on a bullet?”

“I don’t think gumballs will help in that regard, but…” Armin bit his lip. “Eren, how many of these are there?”

Eren cocked his head to the side. “Probably about a hundred or so. It’s one of those dispensers.”

“Can you go back and get all of them?” Armin asked.

Eren narrowed his eyes slightly but nodded. “Sure. I’ll be right back.” He stood and emptied one of the tool bags and took it with him. When he came back this time he set down the bag, rattling with gumballs.

“Perfect,” Armin smiled. “Alright, so here’s my plan. We have to move Levi six blocks to the hospital. We carry him down and out the front door, put him in the wheelbarrow, he can hold one of the tanks of gas, I’ll get the other one. Eren, you push him and Mikasa, you take these gumballs. You have the most important job. You have to throw them as hard as you can, as far as you can.”

“Why?” Mikasa asked, taking the bag.

“Because we need noise,” Eren’s eyes lit up in understanding. “You have to make as much noise with the gumballs as you can so we can get passed all the zombies in the streets.”

“We need to bring weapons. We don’t know what’s waiting for us in the hospital,” Mikasa said. “Or if the gumballs will be completely effective.”

“Alright, let’s gear up and go,” Armin nodded. “The faster we set Levi’s leg, the better.”

Eren and Mikasa moved to the tools on the ground and started hooking hammers, knives and screwdrivers to themselves wherever they could. Eren went so far as to wrap a belt around his chest so he could hook a hatchet on it.

“Give me a weapon,” Levi hissed out.

“You aren’t going to be moving,” Eren frowned.

“Just give me something,” Levi spat through clenched teeth.

Eren hesitated but them handed Levi a knife. “Don’t stab yourself.”

Levi glared at him but didn’t respond as Eren and Mikasa finished placing weapons on themselves. Armin only had one knife, but he would be carrying a tank of fuel and Eren already knew that if it came down to it, it would be on him to protect both Armin and Levi.

As they got prepared to move Levi, Eren stopped Mikasa. “You’re going to tell me what happened when all of this is done.”

Mikasa nodded, looking down. “Alright.”

Eren nodded in response and then scooped Levi up into his arms. “Let’s go.”


	7. Year 1, the city part 7

Standing just inside the door the the building, Armin peaked out the window. “Mikasa, you have to go first, get as much attention away from here as you can.”

Mikasa nodded and slowly opened the door. Armin held it open, watching as Mikasa moved a little ways away and then threw a gumball as hard as she could at a mailbox. The resulting clang had the zombies turning towards the sound and Eren moved. He carefully placed Levi in the wheelbarrow, laying on his back his legs hanging over the end. Levi was grinding his teeth together, holding in the sounds of pain that threatened to escape. Eren handed him one of the canisters of fuel and Levi hugged it to his chest as if it was his only life line.

Mikasa chucked one more gumball at the mailbox before she made her way to the group and they started to make their way towards the hospital. She stayed about half a block ahead of them, throwing gumballs as far ahead as she could at the things that would make the most noise.

The plan worked startlingly well, the zombies traveling in a growing pack about a block ahead of them as they made their way through the streets. Every nerve was on edge as Eren pushed the wheelbarrow forward, aware of the subtle sound of the wheel crunching loose gravel on the pavement, the occasional slosh from one of the tanks of fuel, and even the sound of Levi’s breathing that was a little harsher and louder than usual.

Amazingly, they made it the six blocks to the hospital without having to fight. Once standing on front of the building, however, they encountered the next problem. With the generators off, the sliding glass doors to the building didn’t open. Even more than that, Eren could see several zombies milling around in the corridor inside, which didn’t bode well for what the rest of the hospital looked like. He took a deep breath, realizing that one person getting there before they turned could have infected the entire building. How could they fight off an entire hospital full of zombies?

He doubted they would have a chance if Levi was able to fight in his normal capacity. It was just too many. Mikasa made her way over, confident that the group of zombies was far enough away now. Eren motioned to the doors and she frowned. They both turned to look at Armin who was scrunching up his nose, thinking. He reached out and took the bag of gumballs from Mikasa and looked inside before he handed it back and pointed at one of the glass panes. He mimed throwing at the door and then shrugged, looking conflicted. A clear,  _ you could throw one at the glass and have the zombies break it. _

Eren and Mikasa both shook their heads in response. Eren held his hands over his ears, as if to say  _ too loud _ and pointed at the zombies that were loitering down the street where Mikasa had thrown the previous gumball.

Armin bit his lip and set down the can of fuel and pointed at the screwdriver on Eren’s belt. Eren handed it over and Armin walked over to a shiny metal panel by the door. He wrenched it off with the screwdriver and winced, looking around when it squeaked a bit coming down.

Placing the plate to the side, he studied the inner workings of the mechanisms that operated the door and then grasped onto a metal box. He nodded at Eren and Mikasa before motioning to the zombies inside. They both drew weapons, Eren his hatchet and Mikasa a long knife and positioned themselves on either side of the door. Armin wrenched the counterweight up and the doors slid open with a groan. The zombies inside all turned to the sound and groaned.

Armin’s eyes widened as his head swivelled to the zombies that were hanging around by the last gumball toss and he looked inside the doors desperately. He hadn’t accounted for the sounds the zombies made and now that large group was shuffling towards them. His eyes fell on a panel like the one he had already pried off on the inside of the doors and he surged forward, past Eren and Mikasa to the panel.

Eren took several quick steps forward and met the first zombie’s face with a hard swing of his hatchet, kicking the corpse back into a second one. He glanced over his shoulder as Armin wrenched off the second panel and sighed when he saw the same inner workings as the outside. He glanced at the oncoming horde and grabbed his tank of fuel, shooting Levi an apologetic look before he plopped it down on top of the other and took hold of the handles of the wheelbarrow, pushing it just inside the doors.

Mikasa rammed her knife into the chest of another zombie as Eren hacked into the face of a third. Armin grabbed the counterweight and slammed the doors shut behind them. As Mikasa jammed her knife into the neck of the last zombie Armin stood and turned to them.

“We have to get away from the doors. That horde will be here soon,” he whispered. “They only seemed mildly interested, but if they hear us, they’ll break down the doors.”

Eren nodded and reached out, gently placing his hand over Levi’s that was still holding the second canister with a white knuckled grip for a moment before he motioned for Armin to push. “We’ll go to the x-ray room first and then I’ll go find the generators,” he whispered, so softly it was barely audible.

Armin nodded and they made their way through the halls as silently as possible, following the signs to get where they needed to go. Progress was slow, there were zombies everywhere, every corner they turned had them pausing to evaluate how to get through the next hall without getting bitten. Eren lead them, the determined look on his face steeled in place. By the time they were one hallway away from the room they needed, Eren and Mikasa had taken down more than ten zombies a piece. Both of them were panting and sweating from the exertion, the nearly constant fighting while protecting the other two taking its toll on them.

Once they were standing in front of the door to the x-ray observation room, Eren stood to one side of the door and Mikasa to the other, slowly swinging it open to reveal a blessedly empty room. The x-ray room itself was also empty, allowing them to relax for a few moments. Eren took a deep breath and took the first canister off of Levi and then reached for the second one but Levi hissed as he tried to move it.

“Levi, I need this,” Eren said softly.

Levi growled low in his throat, and squeezed his eyes shut. “I can’t,” he hissed out.

‘What?” Eren blinked at him.

“My arms locked,” Levi ground out.

Eren blinked again and then began to massage Levi’s elbows with firm fingers. “Shh, it’s alright, loosen up,” he whispered and leaned forward over the edge of the wheelbarrow to kiss Levi softly. The angle was awkward, and the kiss was upside down but the gentle contact combined with the massaging eventually allowed Levi’s shaking arms to unlock from around the canister.

“Alright,” Eren took the gas and turned towards the door. “The generators are probably on the roof, right?”

Armin nodded. “That would make sense.”

“Armin, you stay here. As soon as the power comes on, get started x-raying that leg. Mikasa, you protect them. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

“You can’t go alone!” Mikasa gasped. “This building is more than ten stories, imagine how far you’re going to have to go. The halls are littered with zombies!”

Eren frowned. “We can’t leave Armin and Levi here defenseless.”

“I can protect the squirt,” Levi muttered, pushing his upper body up a little bit.

“You could barely let go of the gas can,” Eren replied, fixing Levi with a gaze that had him slumping back down in the wheelbarrow. “Mikasa, once the power comes on, someone is going to have to move Levi, too. It makes sense for me to go alone.”

Mikasa bit her lip but nodded. “Don’t take any unnecessary risks,” she whispered and pulled Eren into a hug.

He hugged her back before turning and giving Armin a smile. “You can do this, right?”

Armin hesitated but then nodded. “I can.”

Eren walked over to the wheelbarrow and looked down and Levi. “We’re almost there, Levi. We’re going to fix you up, good as new.”

Levi nodded, but grabbed Eren’s wrist as he turned to leave. “You come back, do you hear me, brat? If you get bitten while I’m like this I can’t hold up my end of the deal.”

Eren grinned. “I have no intentions of getting bitten. I’ll be back before you know it.”

With that, he was gone and Levi couldn’t help himself. He muttered, “I know it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So... I didn't have the heart to tell the poor commenter on the last chapter that this one was, in fact, also a cliffhanger... But.... *Jazz hands*   
> ...Sorry >.<


	8. Year 1, the city part 8

It took 20 minutes, but the power flickered on. Armin couldn’t help himself when he laughed out loud and Mikasa huffed out a soft, happy sound. Even Levi smiled, the lights coming on proving that Eren had made it to his destination safely.

Mikasa immediately lifted Levi out of the wheelbarrow as the equipment in the observation room came to life. She carried him to the bed in the x-ray room and then rejoined Armin. He bit his lip as he looked over the controls. After a few moments he hit a button and then sighed in relief as a picture began to form on the screen in front of him.

Mikasa smiled at him. “You actually have no idea what you’re doing, do you?”

Armin laughed horsley. “I’m a high schooler, Mika. I’ve never been in front of one of these things in my life.”

“Why did you tell Eren you could do it?” Mikasa asked.

“Because I’ve read book on how to do it,” Armin crossed his arms. “Plus, how do you look someone like Eren in the face and tell him ‘I can’t’? Even though I didn’t really know how, I wasn’t about to tell the guy going out to face a horde of zombies on his own that I wasn’t sure I could work the machine. I just needed to figure it out.”

Mikasa smiled at him. “That’s the right answer, you know. Your brain is just as strong as Eren’s body.”

Armin laughed softly and studied the x-ray in front of him. “Okay… I think everything looks alright. No extra damage. We just have to set the bone…” Armin leaned a little closer, studying the picture. “Yeah, I think that’s right. I mean, I wish a real doctor could look at this, but I’m the best you’ve got.”

Mikasa laughed under her breath. “So what do we do?”

“We need a blanket. And traction,” Armin blinked up at Mikasa. “And probably Eren because I’m not very strong but I might be able to do it.”

Mikasa frowned. “So we have to leave this room.”

Armin nodded. “We do. We just have to hope that the zombies haven’t regrouped in the hall.”

Mikasa snuck to the door and cracked it, peaking out. “It looks clear, but what’s taking Eren so long?”

“I don’t know, but we shouldn’t linger too long,” Armin sighed softly. “We need to set his leg as fast as possible.”

Mikasa nodded. “I’ll get Levi.”

Mikasa went back to the x-ray room and returned moments later with Levi, placing him carefully back in the wheelbarrow. Just as she did, the intercoms crackled to life and Eren’s voice drifted over the speakers, hospital wide.

“Hello, this is your captain speaking! We’ve had a bit of a bumpy ride on these open waters, but we’ve made it to… Paris! We’ve made it to Paris and the horizon looks clear for some smooth sailing here on out! I hope you have all had a good time on the trip, feel free to disembark when we come to port…”

Levi squinted at the ceiling and groaned. “The pain has finally gotten to me, I’ve lost it.”

Mikasa glanced at him, a bewildered look on her face. “ _ Eren’s _ lost it. What the hell is he doing?”

“That’s way too loud,” Levi muttered. “What is he trying to do?”

“No,” Armin blinked. “This is genius. Eren’s brilliant!”

Both Mikasa and Levi looked at him like he was crazy, but Mikasa spoke first. “Are you feeling okay, there, Armin?”

“Yes! Think about it! The intercom is  _ loud _ . Eren figured out we’re going to have to move Levi after x-raying him and guess what all the zombies are doing right now?” Armin’s eyes twinkled at the sheer brilliance of the plan as Eren’s voice continued to blare through the intercoms. “They’re probably all clawing at speakers right now! We have a clear shot to the next room!”

Mikasa laughed softly. “Damn, that actually really smart.”

Levi snorted. “Who would have guessed the brat thought of it?”

Armin opened the door slowly and grinned as a zombie that had wandered out of a nearby room was pawing at the wall, trying to reach the speaker in the ceiling. “It’s working,” he whispered.

Mikasa snuck up behind the zombie and stabbed it several times and then arranged its limbs to point in the direction they were going as Armin pushed the wheelbarrow.

“So, I’m running out of things to say over here, I hope this is working like I thought it would. You guys are moving, right? Ha, like you could answer me. If you’re not, do it before we run out of power again. Hmmm… Uh, there’s this really cool skeleton in here. Too bad I can’t take it with me…” Eren’s voice trailed off for a second and then he started to sing, badly.

Mikasa winced. “While the plan is good, his singing voice never has been,” she muttered under her breath after she stabbed another distracted zombie, arranging that corpse, too.

Armin pointed into a nearby room and Mikasa rearranged the arms to point in there before going in first and making sure the room was clear before Armin entered behind her with Levi. The closed the door behind him and studied a contraption on the bed.

“This is convenient,” he whispered. “Whoever was in this bed last was in traction. Mikasa, can you put Levi on the bed?”

Mikasa nodded and lifted Levi onto the bed. Armin took a deep breath and looked at Mikasa. “Get on the intercom and tell Eren to keep that up for another 5 minutes and then get the strongest painkillers he can find from the pharmacy as well as all the plaster and water as he can and meet us back in the x-ray room.”

Mikasa nodded and went to a wall intercom. “Eren,” she hissed.

The singing stopped and Eren called out, “Mika?”

“Hey, we’re going to set Levi’s leg. We need you to keep singing for 5 more minutes then get really strong painkillers and as much plaster and water as you can and come back to the x-ray room,” Mikasa whispered into the intercom.

“Where do you expect me to get water?” Eren cried.

Mikasa looked back at Armin and he came over after he finished arranging Levi’s leg in the traction. “Check any faculty lounges. There’s probably a water cooler or two in there.”

“Okay, you got it. I’ll see you guys in no more than 20 minutes,” Eren said and then resumed his terrible singing.

Armin walked back to Levi and carefully removed the splint they had put on his leg. He wrapped the leg in a blanket and motioned for Mikasa to take one end and took a deep breath. “Okay. When I say go, you’re going to have to pull as hard as you can. I’ll do this side, and then we have to brace it with the splint again. I’d rather not move him after we set it, but…” Armin bit his lip and looked down at Levi. “This is really, really going to hurt. I don’t doubt you’re going to scream.”

Levi nodded, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m ready.”

Armin nodded and took a deep breath. “Alright. 1… 2… 3… GO.”

Both Armin and Mikasa pulled on opposite ends of the blanket as hard as they could and Levi’s eyes shot open, a full scream ripped from his throat, drowning out Eren’s obnoxious singing. He screamed as Armin reached around and grabbed the splint, wrapping it tightly around Levi’s leg and tying it in place. Finally, Levi’s eyes fluttered shut as he passed out from the intense pain.

Armin sighed and nodded to Mikasa to who finally let go of the blanket and lifted Levi’s unconscious body back into the wheelbarrow before Armin took hold of the handles. Mikasa gasped softly as the door vibrated with a bang.

“They reacted to the screaming,” Armin whispered.

Mikasa nodded and drew her knife. “I’ll look out for you. That’s why I’m here and not with Eren, right?”

Armin smiled weakly and nodded, pulling out his own knife. “Ready when you are.”

Mikasa took a deep breath and then swung the door open, immediately lashing out at the first zombie in her sights, driving her knife through its eye. She shoved the body back into a second one and cut the throat of a third, the force of the swing nearly severing its head. The one that had been thrown off balance by the body recieved her knife to it’s skull. She panted when they were all down and then smiled at Armin and whispered. “Let’s go.”

Eren’s singing had stopped by now so Mikasa had to clear whatever zombies were left milling in the halls. Thankfully there was only one as they had already been past these halls. Once back in the x-ray observation room, Mikasa put Levi back in the bed for the x-ray and she and Armin waited for Eren.

About ten minutes later, he appeared, sweating and breathing hard, lugging a water cooler bottle behind him. “Hey, guys,” he grinned and then collapsed to the floor.

“Eren!” Mikasa ran over and knelt next to him. “Are you alright?”

Eren nodded. “I’m fine. There was just an awful lot of zombies between the roof, painkillers, plaster and water. Why’d all this stuff have to be in different places? I’m so tired.”

Mikasa sighed and pushed his messy bangs back from his forehead and looked him to his eyes before she slapped him on the back of the head. “I said no unnecessary risks!”

Eren whined softly and covered his head. “It worked, didn’t it?”

Mikasa sighed. “Yes, it worked.”

Armin was looking at the supplies that Eren had brought. “We need to make a cast on Levi’s leg,” he muttered.

“How is he?” Eren perked up.

“Unconscious,” Mikasa supplied.

Eren’s eyes shot to her, alarm filtering into his voice. “Why?”

“The pain of the setting,” Armin sighed as he picked up the bag of dried plaster and lugged it into the room where Levi was still out cold. “We have to mix this plaster and then I want to build the cast around the splint and the blanket that we already have on him.”

“Armin, how do you know how to make a cast?” Eren asked curiously.

“Well, we worked with plaster in middle school art class,” Armin glanced at Eren. “And that’s basically all I have for this.”

Eren raised his eyebrows but didn’t object as Armin started mixing the plaster and water together. “What do you need me to do?”

Armin glanced at the other things that Eren had brought back. He studied the supply of painkillers for a second before he nodded at one of the bags. “You were thorough in the when it came to getting everything you could find from the pharmacy. Can you give him an IV with a morphine drip while I do this? Try 5 mg, that should be more than enough to numb the pain, but won’t kill him.”

Eren nodded and pulled a sterile needle from it’s protective casing, taking Levi’s arm and studying his elbow. After a moment, he pressed a kiss to the area before he pulled back and pierced the skin, nodding in satisfaction as he hooked the IV bag up and injected a carefully measured out 5 mg of morphine into the port on the tube and hung the bag on a nearby hook.

Armin glanced at him. “First try?”

Eren’s eyes darkened. “I know what it looks like when a needle makes it into a vein. This isn’t the first time I’ve seen this equipment.”

Armin looked away and nodded. “I know you do,” he said softly. “I’ve got this, if you want to rest. I know you want to get the story from Mikasa, too.”

Eren nodded. “Thanks, Armin. Just let us know if you need help.”

Armin gave Eren a small smile before the brunette turned and met Mikasa in the observation room.


	9. Year 1, the city part 9

_ Mikasa picked the lock to the first apartment as Levi stood behind her, watching out for any signs of movement. Once the door swung open, they made their way cautiously in, warry for any zombies that may have been trapped inside. _

_ Mikasa wrinkled her nose. “There was a fire in here.” _

_ Levis eyes shot around, taking in the charred interior of the kitchen. “How astute of you to notice,” he snarked under his breath. _

_ Mikasa glared at him as she carefully made her way across the burned floor to a cabinet. She opened it slowly and frowned. “I doubt there’s going to be anything useful in here.” _

_ Levi nodded. “I’m surprised the fire didn’t spread further than it had.” _

_ Mikasa point to the ceiling. “This building had sprinklers. The fire must have happened before the water stopped running.” _

_ Levi glanced up to see the sprinkler head that Mikasa was pointing at, but he felt something prickling in the back of his mind as she moved back over to him. Something was wrong here. His eyes shot to Mikasa as she stepped carefully over the burnt floor and then he realized. That groaning was from the floor and not only was it too loud, it wasn’t normal. _

_ Without thinking, he darted across the floor and grabbed Mikasa by the waist, hurling her out of the kitchen. He looked down at his feet as the floor cracked ominously and then back up at Mikasa. _

_ “Who’s a throwable object now?” He said weakly and then the floor cracked completely and fell away under him. _

_ “Levi!” Mikasa gasped, torn between staying quiet and crying out after the boy who had fallen through the floor. _

_ She scrambled forward carefully and laid on her belly, looking through the hole in the floor. Levi was sitting on the ground of the next floor down, blood pouring from a gash on his forehead and clutching his left leg and looking further into the apartment below. She opened her mouth to call out to him, but he glanced up at her and waved the hand not holding his leg at her and pointed. Listening carefully, she could hear the rattling of a door being slammed against and the inhuman groans of a zombie. _

_ “I think it’s locked in the bathroom,” he hissed up at her. “That door isn’t going to hold out long.” _

_ Mikasa nodded. The way he was clutching his leg wasn’t a good sign, better to just assume he was injured and make her way down to him than ask, though. “Hold on, Levi. I’m coming for you.” _

_ “Use the stairs. The fall is more difficult than it looks,” he replied. _

_ “Okay. Hang tight,” Mikasa looked at Levi for another second as he pulled a knife off his belt and readied it to defend himself in case she didn’t make it in time before she carefully moved backwards and hustled out to the hallway. Mikasa made her way to the stairs and winced as the door to the stairwell squeaked when she opened it. When she didn’t hear and movement, she went down to the next floor and peaked through the window, checking for zombies. _

_ Determining it was clear, Mikasa moved to the first apartment on the floor and picked the lock to the door, swinging it open just as she heard a loud crack. Her eyes shot to Levi and he growled out, “duck!” _

_ Dropping to the floor as fast as she could, Levi hurled the knife over Mikasa and into the zombie who had just burst out of the bathroom. She glanced back at it as it twitched on the floor, Levi’s knife buried in its forehead. She reached over and plucked the knife out, stabbing it a few more times for good measure and then walked over to Levi, offering her hand to him. _

_ He accepted the help, but a poorly muffled cry fell from his lips once he was on his own two feet, Mikasa’s ears detecting a sickening crunch from Levi’s leg. “It’s broken, stop trying to walk,” she whispered. _

_ Levi glared at her and tried to take another step, barely managing to suffocate a whimper of pain. “I’m fine,” he ground out, but his voice hitched at the end, ruining whatever effect he was trying to have. _

_ Mikasa rolled her eyes. “You’re absolutely not fine, you’ve broken your leg,” she put her hands on her hips. “We have to get you back home. Maybe Armin can fix it.” _

_ Levi took a deep breath. “The stairs are going to suck.” _

_ Mikasa bit her lip and hesitated a moment before she spoke again. “I’m going to carry you.” _

_ “What?” Levi’s eyes shot to her. _

_ “You broke your leg protecting me, let me get you home,” Mikasa snapped, looking at the ground, her cheeks tinting red. _

_ Levi sighed softly. “Fine.” _

_ “It’s your lower leg, right?” Mikasa asked. Levi nodded and Mikasa squatted to the floor directly in front of him. “Climb on.” _

_ Carefully, Levi let Mikasa take hold of his thighs and wrapped his arms around her shoulders. Once she was certain of his grip on her, she stood carefully and made her way to the window.  _

_ “Where are you going?” he whispered in her ear. The pain was obviously taking its toll as his breathing was coming out in harsh pants. _

_“The fire escape. We have to get to the roof anyway. Can you open the window?” Mikasa asked, crouching down again. Levi awkwardly leaned forward, pressing against Mikasa to grip the edge of the window around her. He hauled it up as she stood again and carefully climbed out._ _Once at the top of the fire escape she bit her lip. “Okay, I need my hands for this.”_

_ Levi took a deep breath and then tensed his thighs around Mikasa’s waist, a soft whine of pain leaving his lips as his grip on her shoulders became uncomfortably tight. “Okay, go,” he wheezed around the agonized breaths. _

_ Mikasa jumped up and grabbed the edge of the roof, pulling herself up with a bit of a struggle due to the extra weight of Levi. Once they were up, she looked over to the roof of their building. “This is it. If we don’t make it, we’re dead. If we make it, we’ll be home free. I’m going to have to run, it’s going to hurt.” _

_ Levi inhaled sharply through his nose and tightened his grip around Mikasa. “You can make it,” he said softly. _

_ Mikasa turned her head to look at him in surprise and then gave him a small smile. “ _ We _ can make it. Don’t let go.” _

_ Levi nodded as Mikasa backed up as far as she could and then turned towards the other roof. Taking a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second and then started to sprint. Levi buried his face in her shoulder as she ran whimpers escaping his lips even as he tried to hide the sound, the movement jostling his damaged leg even more than before. At the last second, Mikasa leapt and for a second, she was sure she had killed them. _

_ Landing hard on the other roof, Mikasa rolled to the side to absorb some of the impact, making sure to not land on Levi’s leg. She groaned softly as her right knee took the brunt of the impact as Levi screamed as his leg was jerked, but she stood shakily and made her way to the fire escape of their building. _

_ “Almost there,” she whispered as much to herself as to Levi. He whined loudly again as she jumped down onto the fire escape but held it together as she knelt for him to grab the window and open it like the last one. _

_ Clambering in, she thudded to the floor and let Levi slide off her back where he immediately grabbed onto his leg again and squeezed his eyes shut like he could block out the pain if he tried hard enough. _

Mikasa took a deep breath, looking at her knees as she finished accounting what had happened to Levi over in the other building. She glanced at Eren out of the corner of her eye, expecting anger. It was her fault that his boyfriend was injured, after all, but she was just met with calm green eyes.

“I’m surprised he let you carry him back,” Eren said softly.

“Well, there was no way he was making it up the stairs and across the roofs without me,” Mikasa pointed out.

Eren hummed in agreement. “But you know how he is. I wouldn’t have been surprised if he forced himself.”

Mikasa rolled her eyes, but then her face fell seriously. “I owed him. It was the least I could do.”

Eren smiled. “I’m sure he didn’t see it that way. He was just protecting you like he would any of us.”

Mikasa bit her lip and studied her knees. “Eren, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Eren blinked at her.

Mikasa sighed. “I know that our fighting has put a strain on you, you love both of us and I was jealous of how you managed to let someone new in so quickly. I’m sorry and I know I wasn’t fair to you or Levi. We’re all that’s left of humanity and we have to be a family even of we don’t entirely agree on everything. He’s my brother just as much as you and Armin are.”

Eren nodded. “I was hoping you’d eventually come around.”

Mikasa bumped her shoulder into Eren’s. “You know me.”

Eren grinned. “Stubbornness runs in the family. Especially among twins.”

Mikasa smiled back. “Yeah, but you’re way worse than me.”

Armin walked out of the room he and Levi had been in and winced slightly, heading straight to the x-ray equipment and starting it up again. After a few minutes he sighed. “So, it’s all set and right, I think. That cast isn’t winning any beauty contests, but it will do the job. He’s pretty high on painkillers right now, but we have another problem. How are we going to get home?”


	10. Year 1, the city, part 10

“How are we going to get home?” Armin’s question seemed to reverberate around the room as both Mikasa and Eren turned to him.

“Can we use the gumballs again?” Eren asked.

Armin shook his head. “We don’t have enough left. Plus, there’s the horde outside the main doors now.”

“What about emergency?” Mikasa asked.

“We could go out that way, but how many zombies do you think are in emergency?” Armin bit his lip.

“It’s probably worst there,” Eren nodded in agreement. “We could take out the horde in front of the building.”

“There are too many,” Mikasa shook her head. “That horde is a collection of six blocks worth of zombies.”

“We could stay here,” Armin sighed. “Not permanently, just long enough for Levi to not be high as a kite before we leave.”

“What good will that do?” Mikasa frowned.

“Well, first of all, he woke up about ten minutes ago and he’s been non stop rambling since. That’s a side effect of morphine, or so I’ve been told, so I’m guessing no one wants to move him while he’s a blaring beacon of sound for the zombies. Second, there’s a chance the horde by the front door will move on if we stay long enough. Third, if he’s lucid enough, then there’s a chance he could be support to you two when we escape. Fourth, if we stay here we have access to the pharmacy in case we need something else to medicate Levi with,” Armin ticked off the things on his fingers. “Plus, if we go to the kitchens, I bet we can find a whole bunch of gross but edible hospital food. Eren, was there more water?”

Eren nodded. “And I bet we can rig the intercoms I was using to just play static. It’s going to sound terrible to us, but it will keep the zombies busy while we get everything together.”

Mikasa shrugged. “It sounds like a plan to me.”

Eren hummed thoughtfully. “So, Levi’s talking up a storm in there, huh?”

Armin snorted softly, as if trying to muffle a laugh. “More words than I’ve ever heard him say before. Morphine makes you lose your inhibitions, you see.”

Eren stood up. “Can’t wait to see this.”

“You can’t!” Armin stepped between Eren and the door quickly. “He said like twelve times ‘don’t you dare let the brat see me like this or I’ll make you regret it.’”

Eren rolled his eyes. “What is he doing to do to you like that, Armin.”

“He’s drugged up with a broken leg, not dead,” Armin crossed his arms. “We patched him up by the book. In a few months he’ll be just fine and I wouldn’t put it past him to hold a grudge for that long and kick my ass then. You’re not going in there.”

Eren glared, but he sat back down with a sigh. Mikasa, on the other hand, stood and approached the door. When Armin didn’t stop her, she slipped inside. “Levi?”

Levi’s eyes shot to her and he grunted. “What?”

“I... “ Mikasa bit her lip. She wanted to apologize for giving him such a hard time up until now. She wanted to thank him for saving her. She wanted to tell him that she thought of him as family, but the words stuck in her throat stubbornly.

“I get it,” Levi muttered.

“You do?” Mikasa looked up surprised.

“Yeah, you don’t have to say a damn word, but I’m not saving you again, this fucking sucked,” Levi grumbled. “And I have to deal with that stupid brat doing dumb things and I can’t protect him like this. I love him so fucking much but I can’t tell him because of that goddamned pact, if I say it outloud then it’s real and how could I let him kill me? ...Fuck, I just said it outloud.”

Mikasa chewed on her bottom lip to stop the smile that threatened to spread across her face. While it was surprising to hear the brutal honesty from Levi she couldn’t help but feel warmed by it. Especially when the confession he spewed was one of love for her twin. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, I didn’t hear a thing,” she said softly.

“Well, that’s wonderful, you’re clearly deaf,” Levi snarked. “Why can’t I stop talking?”

Mikasa rolled her eyes. “Armin says that Morphine removes inhibitions. You’re just saying whatever you think of.”

Levi’s face contorted in disgust. “That’s a fucking terrible side effect.”

“It’s kind of funny, actually,” Mikasa replied casually.

“Eren can’t see me like this, who knows what I’ll fucking tell him,” Levi hissed out, narrowing his eyes.

Mikasa nodded. “Armin already told him he can’t come in here. By the way, we’re going to be spending some time in the hospital. At least until you’re not high anymore. We need to figure out how to get home.”

“What do you mean, ‘figure out’?” Levi’s brow scrunched.

“Well, there is that horde out front,” Mikasa pointed out.

“Just go on the roof and toss a bedpan off the back of the building,” Levi rolled his eyes. “Tada, clear doors.”

Mikasa blinked at him. “Just like what we did when you and Eren went to the store. Redirect them.”

Levi nodded. “Exactly like that, dumbass.”

“Armin is going to feel like an idiot for not realizing that,” Mikasa laughed under her breath.

“He’s had a long day, logicing us all the way here and then fixing me,” Levi grunted out, trying to adjust himself into a more comfortable positon. “He’s allowed to have a moment of stupid like the rest of us.”

Mikasa snorted and turned back to the door. “But we’ll still be here for a little while, as you really can’t seem to shut up.”

Levi huffed. “Fuck off.”

“I’m already leaving,” Mikasa rolled her eyes as she let the door swing shut behind her. “Levi says we should throw a bedpan off the roof,” she added, addressing the wide eyes who had only heard the last two sentences of her and Levi’s exchange as she left the x-ray room.

“What?” Eren tilted his head to the side.

“When we leave. Make noise in the back of the building to draw the horde away from the doors,” Mikasa amended.

Armin nodded. “That should work, but we still need to get supplies for our stay here.”

Eren nodded. “I can go back to the intercoms and set them to static so we can collect what we need.”

“I’m going with you this time,” Mikasa said.

Eren nodded. “Alright. Armin, don’t leave this room while we aren’t here, you understand?”

Armin nodded. “I’ll stay in the x-ray room with Levi to be extra safe.”

Eren grinned. “Good. We’ll be back in a little while with what we need.”

 

``~`**`~``

 

Six days later, the generator ran out. The static that had been playing over the intercom, torturing the group with it’s never ending blaring ceased and while they were relieved to have silence, it meant that their safety had run out.

“It’s time to leave,” Eren said softly.

The rest of the group nodded and Eren stood. “I’ll go toss something off the back end of the building. You guys get ready to move towards home. I’ll meet you back there.”

“That’s too much of a risk,” Mikasa objected. “We should wait for you.”

“I won’t lose any of you, you understand?” Eren said, his voice low. “I’ll look out for you all, and I promise to come back to you. Move as soon as you’re clear.”

He stood and gave the group a small smile before he slipped out the door. Mikasa bit her lip in frustration even as she walked into the x-ray room and observed Levi who was staring at the ceiling.

“It’s time to leave?” Levi asked.

Mikasa nodded. “Eren has already gone to clear the doors for us.”

“He went alone?” Levi looked at her.

“Yes,” Mikasa sighed and helped Levi out of the bed to the wheelbarrow. 

With some effort, he climbed into it without help. He settled back in it, a frown on his lips. “The brat needs to stop playing hero.”

Mikasa pushed the wheelbarrow out of the room where Armin was waiting to take over pushing. “I agree.”

The three of them made their way to the front doors of the building, seeing only a few zombies on the way that Mikasa took care of easily. They hid in the shadows away from the doors, watching the horde out front milling around. It didn’t seem to have dissipated at all, but they hadn’t tried to break through the glass doors. They waited for a few minutes before there was a crash somewhere to their left, then, as the horde began to move, another slightly further away. Then another and another and the front doors were clear.

Armin ran forward and wrenched the doors open, the creak of them sliding apart covered by yet another crash. As they began to make their way out of the building, Levi reached out and grabbed Mikasa’s arm. “We’re not waiting?” he hissed out.

Mikasa shook her head, gritting her teeth to show her displeasure and Levi’s arm flopped back down into the wheelbarrow. They made their way down the street, slowly but surely, cautious of any zombies who had made it back into the area. Levi sat up at one point, folded nearly in half so he could dangle his legs over the side and look over Armin’s shoulder, back towards the hospital. He knew he should be watching around them to help Mikasa and Armin, but he was worried about Eren in that hospital all alone. His eyes were drawn to a faint crash now two blocks away, where Eren was running like a bat out of hell, having tried to close the doors behind him only to have them crashed through by zombies. 

The horde following Eren was larger than any one person could deal with and Levi could feel his gut clench as Eren sprinted towards them. He was waving frantically, almost as if he was trying to push them faster with his arms and before he was even thinking, Levi had pushed himself up and out of the wheelbarrow, his knife drawn, ready to help Eren. Mikasa and Armin stopped as soon as Levi was standing and looked to see what had drawn his attention.

Levi glanced at Mikasa, who nodded in silent agreement that they were going to fight. Armin turned the wheelbarrow, crouching behind it in a desperate bid to hide, knowing in a battle, he wouldn’t be of any help. Eren looked terrified as he raced up to them but pulled out his hatchet and turned to meet the closest zombie with a hard blow to the neck. Mikasa and Levi both engaged, but Levi found himself cursing his lowered mobility with the heavy plaster cast wrapped around his leg. Every twist and turn of his body caused pain to radiate from the break, but it was manageable. He could handle it as long as his leg was still solidly under him.

As he managed to take down a second zombie, he looked to see Mikasa protecting Armin seemingly effortlessly and Eren knocking one zombie on the face and turning to swing at a second one. He took a step towards Eren to help when he saw it. A third zombie racing towards the younger boy from the side, out of Eren’s line of sight. Levi moved without thinking. He pushed himself forward and reached Eren just about the same time as the zombie, who lunged to bite just as Levi’s casted leg collided with it’s skull. He plunged his knife into it repeatedly even as he whimpered from the pain.

Eren dispatched to two he had been already dealing with and the street fell silent apart from Levi’s harsh pants as he sunk to the ground, clutching at his thigh, his fingers digging into the flesh. Eren glanced around, making sure they were alone and zombie free before he turned and fell to his knees next to Levi, concern written all over his features.

“Levi,” he whispered.

“That… That may have been a bad plan,” Levi muttered. “I’m okay. It just hurt like hell.”

Eren smiled gently and scooped Levi into his arms, lifting him up easily. When Levi made a soft, disgruntled noise, Eren clicked his tongue in disapproval. “Let me help my savior,” he huffed out. “I didn’t even see the third one coming.”

Levi nodded. “I know,” he whispered back and leaned his head against Eren’s shoulder as the brunette carried him back to the wheelbarrow.

The rest of the trip was relatively easy, only one or two zombies in their way to home. They made it back to their apartment, collapsing inside like they’d been gone for years. They all sat in the living room, breathing deeply, relief flooding through them all. Eren reached out and wrapped his arms around Levi’s waist and rested his head on the raven’s thigh.

“Home and no static,” Eren muttered blissfully, nuzzling the leg under his cheek.

Without thinking, Levi ran his fingers through Eren’s hair, looking down at him softly. “Home indeed,” he agreed quietly. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, my lovelies, I have 2 deadlines for fics coming up so I'm working on those frantically... I'm hoping that it won't effect me getting chapters of this fic out, but we might be looking at another few Tuesday situations coming up. Don't worry though, I'll still be putting this out as best I can!


	11. year 1, the city part 11

It was slow. Healing was slow. Especially when Armin couldn’t x-ray Levi’s leg again to see how it was healing. Levi’s irritation with the situation very quickly caught up with him, causing him to lash out at everyone and everything. He was angry and there was little he could do about it.

Months passed like this. Armin insisted they keep his leg casted for a full two months to be safe. No matter how much Levi glared at him he refused to budge on that point. Mikasa basically avoided him completely in order to avoid his wrath. Eren all but force cuddled him, despite Levi’s threats. If Levi was being honest with himself, he craved Eren’s touch, but the little voice in his head that told him he was useless like this made him try to push Eren away each and every time. Levi feared the day that Eren believed him and stopped trying to get his arms around the smaller frame. And yet time moved on.

Cast removal day finally came and presented its own challenges. Such as how they didn’t know how to remove the heavy plaster from Levi without hurting him. Armin hadn’t learned about cast removal in his hours of study and the four of them sat in a circle, Levi’s leg on display in the middle as they all studied it.

“Can’t we just… Hit it with a hammer?” Eren asked.

“We could re-break his leg doing that,” Armin pointed out.

Eren sat back. Mikasa hummed thoughtfully. “What if we just chisel it away?”

“The problem,” Armin sighed. “Is that we don’t really know where cast ends and leg starts. I’m really worried we are going to hurt him more trying to remove it.”

“For the love of god,” Levi huffed out and he reached over to one of their bags of tools, pulled out a screwdriver and hammer and set to work chipping away pieces of the cast. The other three stared on with nervous eyes as Levi removed the bane of his existence to reveal his leg.

Once he was free, there was a collectively breathed sigh of relief. The leg looked as pristine as one could expect from a limb that had been in a cast for two months. The skin looked dry and flaky, even paler than the rest of Levi’s skin but it was straight. It wasn’t bowed like Armin had feared, he had fretted over that outcome enough for them all to worry. Levi had feared being permanently useless, Armin had worried over having done a less than satisfactory job, Mikasa had stressed about dealing with a never endingly angry Levi and Eren… Eren had been concerned about the potential that Levi would be unhappy for the rest of his life.

“Normally, now people would go through physical therapy,” Armin muttered.

Levi poked at his leg. Despite his small stature, all of Levi’s limbs had been well muscled, chiseled to perfection through a rigorous workout regime he hadn’t given up when the apocalypse started. Compared to the rest of him, the leg seemed small and scrawny. “What’s wrong with it?” he asked.

“Your muscles atrophied,” Armin offered. “Not surprising. It will take time to get you back into normal condition. You have to take it easy, still.”

Levi growled. “I can’t waste any more time.”

Eren reached out and took Levi’s hand. He smiled at the older boy and ran his thumb soothingly over the back of Levi’s hand. “Let’s just check and see if you can stand on it for now?”

Levi stared at the hand holding his for a few moments before he nodded. “Alright…” He moved to stand but Eren didn’t let go, standing first and helping him pull up into a standing position. Levi tested putting his weight on the affected leg and while it felt odd after having been in a cast for so long, it didn’t hurt.

Eren grinned at him. “You’ll be back to your old self before you know it.”

Levi wanted to say something sarcastic in response. He wanted to say that he’s well past the point of knowing it. That he was losing his mind cooped up in the apartment, unable to help at all, but one look into Eren’s bright face silenced him. He nodded mutely and took a few experimental steps. There was a limp, but that was to be expected, he supposed. Recovery was still a long road for him to travel.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“I found this,” Mikasa said abruptly.

Levi looked up from where he was sitting to see Mikasa standing in front of him holding what appeared to be a katana. He raised an eyebrow in question. “Okay?”

“It’s dull as all hell. Could be useful if it was sharper,” she shrugged. “It’s too bad…” Dropping the katana on the floor in front of him, she subtly nudged the tool bag that had a manual sharpener in it and then turned and walked away.

For a second, Levi was angry. If Mikasa wanted the stupid sword sharpened, she could do it herself and then he remembered his position. The useless one, stuck at home unable to help with anything, it made sense that he was given tasks like this. He sighed and picked up the sword and set to work.

Eren came in later from helping Armin collect water from their pots and pans on the roof to find Levi hard at work. He smiled gently watching him. “She gave it to you after all.”

“Yeah,” Levi muttered, concentrating on the task in front of him.

Eren came over and sat next to Levi, staying out of his way. “I thought it was so funny, I’ve never seen my sister look so nervous before.”

“Why would she need to be nervous?” Levi glanced at Eren.

“Well, she was saying she didn’t want to come off as demanding, but she was thinking that you were pretty bored stuck in here by yourself most of the time and wanted to give you something to do. Mikasa isn’t very good at being the comforting presence and she knows it. She was on the fence about actually bringing the sword to you,” Eren shrugged.

Levi faltered. This was to keep him entertained? He huffed a laugh out under his breath. “I see.”

Eren leaned in and rested his head on Levi’s shoulder. “Yeah. I’m glad you two are getting along better now.”

Levi turned his head without thinking and pressed a kiss into Eren’s hair. Eren made a small happy noise and nuzzled further into Levi’s shoulder while the older went back to work.

 

``~`**`~``

 

It took another few months for Levi to recover all of his lost strength, but he was again leaping across rooftops with Eren. It was strange how much he missed pillaging apartments for food and other necessities until he was unable to do it.

Returning to the roof of their building with full bags, Levi and Eren came across Armin who was hanging laundry out on the roof, staring across the street, curiously. “What’s going on, Armin?” Eren asked.

“I swear I thought I saw someone in that building over there, but I don’t see anything now,” Armin said.

“A zombie, maybe?” Levi offered.

“Maybe. It was weird. I thought they were watching me,” Armin shrugged and finished hanging the laundry before following Eren and Levi down the fire escape.

“Maybe you’re just hallucinating new friends because you’re stuck with us,” Eren teased.

Armin rolled his eyes. “If you were me, you wouldn’t blame me.”

That night, Eren jerked awake a few moments before Mikasa and Levi. There was a heavy cloud in the apartment, a soft hissing pushing the cloud under the door and further into the apartment.

“Gas,” Levi coughed out the word.

Eren pushed himself up into a sitting position. “Mika, get Armin,” he commanded.

She leaned forward and shook Armin’s shoulder, but he didn’t move. “Armin,” she said, shaking him harder.

“Just carry him, we have to get outside,” Eren gasped.

Mikasa struggled to her feet, dragging Arming up with her. There was a thud just behind Eren and he turned to see Levi passed out behind him. He bent down and lifted Levi up and made his way to Mikasa with Armin. She wavered as he reached her and it only took a few steps for her to fall back to the ground, dragging Armin with her.

“Mika,” Eren grunted, kneeling next to her. “Get up, we have to get them out. Mikasa.”

Mikasa didn’t move and Eren swayed under Levi’s weight, collapsing down to the floor next to them. The door to the apartment burst open and Eren blinked up at the human shapes coming in. Zombies? He had to protect everyone. He struggled to stand again only to feel something hit him in the back of his head and the world went black.


	12. Year 1, KIDNAPPED

Eren blinked his eyes open. There was a pounding in the back of his head and he squinted into the darkened room. His hands were handcuffed over his head. A quick scan of the room showed Armin, Levi and Mikasa also similarly tied.

Mikasa opened her eyes a moment later and looked around in confusion. “Where are we?” she whispered when she saw that Eren was awake.

“I don’t know,” Eren replied. “I think we were knocked out.”

“The gas,” Levi’s voice came from Eren’s left. “It must have been sleeping gas.”

Mikasa nodded. “Eren, nudge Armin, see if you can wake him.”

Eren kicked his foot against Armin’s and his eyes slowly blinked open. “Huh?”

“Morning, sleeping beauty,” Eren teased quietly. “We’ve been captured by someone.”

Armin’s eyes shot open wide and he looked around. “Why?”

Eren shrugged. “You’re the smart one, you tell me.”

Armin chewed on his lip for a few moments. “It doesn’t make sense. There’s no way the zombies tied us up-”

“Or gassed us,” Levi chimed in.

“Or gassed us,” Armin agreed. “So it has to be humans, but why would humans tie us up? We’re humans, too.”

“Maybe they just want to make sure we’re not hostile?” Mikasa suggested.

“If they were worried about that, they could have just passed us by without us ever knowing. I’m pretty sure one of the surefire way of making someone hostile is knock them out, kidnap them and tie them up,” Armin replied. “Plus, we’re a bunch of kids, how much damage could we do?”

“Well,” Levi and Eren said at the same time and Mikasa rolled her eyes.

Armin huffed. “Alright, what could a normal group of teenagers do?”

“Make good targets,” Levi muttered.

“Exactly,” Armin replied. “It’s more than likely that whoever kidnapped us is looking to use us for some nefarious purpose. I just can’t fathom what.”

“I guess we’ll just have to wait and see,” Eren said. He shifted to his feet just slightly so he could reach one of his hair pins in his hair before he settled back down to the floor.

The rest of the group nodded and so they settled back to wait. When the door finally opened, Levi huffed under his breath, “forty seven minutes.”

“Hellooo,” a cheerful voice called.

Eren squinted up at the man in front of him, the light behind him nearly blinding everyone. “Hi?”

“Oh, look at that,” the man said over his shoulder to another person. “They’re a girl here, too.”

“Can we keep her?” A second voice called.

“Of course,” the first one replied.

“Who are you,” Eren asked, his voice dipping low.

“Eren,” Mikasa said quietly, almost like she was trying to warn him to remain calm.

“Oh, us?” the first man asked. “We’re just a few hungry fellas.”

The second man came into view and sighed, motioning to Levi. “Look at the scrawny little one. He won’t be satisfying at all.”

“But look at this girl,” the first one said. “She’ll be fun to play with.”

“Don’t touch her,” Eren hissed. “I’m warning you now, keep your grubby hands off of her.”

“Oh, is she your woman? You won’t mind sharing, don’t worry. Not after we’ve cut you up,” the second man said giddily. The first man walked over to Mikasa and pet her hair.

Eren’s eyes narrowed and he pulled his hands forward, unhooking the cuffs he had already picked the locks to before he stood and grabbed the first man be the hair. “I said  _ don’t touch my sister _ .”

“Eren,” Mikasa gasped. “Calm, Eren, no.”

But he was too far gone. This fucking man had  _ dared _ to lay a hand on  _ his sister _ while talking like she was just some object? No, he wouldn’t get away with it. There was something in the back of his mind, something that made everything he saw crystal clear, but dulled his sense of right and wrong. Something that whispered  _ kill him _ . Something that drove him forward to slam the man’s head into the concrete wall. Not just once, but twice, three times, four, until there was blood splattering over his clothes and the man’s skull felt squishier than it should. Rapid succession because he could practically smell the second man running towards him. He dropped the first one to the floor and turned, grabbing the other man from his hapless charge. Spinning deftly, he smashed the man’s face into his friend’s ruined skull. The man screamed in pain and terror, but Eren didn’t stop. He wrapped his hands around the man’s neck and squeezed. Squeezed until he stopped moving completely, his eyes glassy and dead.

Eren couldn’t stop. He punched and kicked the bodies over and over until a steady pressure placed itself against his back. He turned, his fist raised until his eyes locked onto Levi. Levi pressed against him, hands still bound together, but blood running down his wrists from where the cuffs had cut into his skin. Eren’s eyes shot to where Levi had been tied and registered that the chains were broken. Levi had wrenched himself free in order to stop Eren.

Eren took a deep breath and the dull throb in his brain receded. “I could have killed you,” he gasped out.

“I knew you wouldn’t,” Levi replied. “Get these off me, brat.”

Eren opened his mouth, but Levi’s eyes were soft and gentle, looking at him. Eren pulled the bobby pin out of his hair and deftly opened the lock on Levi’s cuffs before he turned and released Armin and then Mikasa.

“You back with us fully?” Mikasa asked gently.

“Yeah,” Eren breathed. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Good,” Mikasa smiled. “Haven’t seen you lose control like that for a while.”

Eren shook his head. “I’ve never killed anyone before either.”

Mikasa bit her lip and looked at the bodies behind Eren. “The world is a different place now,” she muttered.

Eren nodded and Armin placed a comforting hand on Eren’s shoulder. “We have to get out of here, we don’t know if there’s more enemies. Plus, we have to treat Levi’s wrists, sooner than later. Maybe, if we’re clear we can steal some medical supplies.”

Levi narrowed his eyes and huffed softly. “We’re talking about this later at home. I feel like I’m out of the loop of something important.”

“Yeah,” Eren agreed. “Let’s get out of here.”

As he lead them from the room, he heard Mikasa’s soft voice mutter. “Thank you for stopping him.”

Levi grunted in response and Eren only faltered for a second. Looking around the second room, there didn’t seem to be any more people, so they spread out and started opening cabinets. The first one held all sorts of knives and Eren was tempted to take one before Armin let out a squeak of terror. Eren turned around and saw Armin standing in front of what looked like a freezer of some sort.

“What?” Eren asked.

Armin slammed the freezer door shut and turned to Eren with wide eyes. “Humans. They were cutting up people and preserving their parts,” he whimpered.

Eren walked over and opened the freezer, his blood running cold at the sight of its contents. Levi came over and stood next to him, making a sound of disgust.

“Hungry fellas,” Levi muttered, repeating the phrase one of the men had said. He seemed to mull it over for a second before he narrowed his eyes. “Cannibals?”

“We should leave,” Eren said. “They were surprised to see Mikasa, so they weren’t the ones who locked us in there.”

“I found rubbing alcohol and bandages,” Mikasa called. “Let’s go.”

Just as she made the announcement, they heard a door open and close in the distance. They didn’t say a word, after having survived in the zombie infested city for as long as they had, staying silent was a natural instinct. Eren moved back to the cabinet with the knives and picked one up, closing it behind him. They all found places around the room to hide. Levi felt around in his boot and was relieved to feel his knife was still there. He pulled it out and took up position next to Eren on opposite sides of the door.

As a third man turned the corner, both Levi and Eren lunged forward and sunk their knives into him. Eren’s hands shook with the urge to plunge the knife in repeatedly, but Levi gently placed his hand on Eren’s forearm and shook his head. They made their way the entrance of the building, not encountering anyone else.

“Where are we?” Mikasa finally broke the silence.

Eren peered out the window in the door. “Looks like we’re by the school.”

“We’ve been this close to other people this whole time?” Armin whispered.

Eren turned sharp eyes to him. “We were this close to monsters. Let’s go home.”


	13. Year 1, The End of the Beginning

“So, what happened back there?” Levi leaned forward, looking at the other three. Eren averted his eyes and Mikasa and Armin both looked at the brunette.

“This is something only you can choose to tell, Eren,” Mikasa said quietly.

Eren hesitated and then sighed. “I’m not… Normal,” Eren started. “Our father was a world renowned scientist in the height of his career, but after our mother died, he turned to… Sciences that got him thrown out of the community.”

Mikasa picked up the story. “Our mother’s body was weak,” she explained. “She basically just… deteriorated from the inside out and her doctors couldn’t do anything about it. After she died, our father became convinced that Eren and I would suffer the same fate. He started doing experiments on living subjects, trying to make them stronger.”

Eren nodded. “When other people found out he was commanded to stop, but instead he just turned to experimenting on Mikasa and I. He raised us to be soldiers otherwise, to keep us safe, he said, and every night he would come for me. If I refused, he would experiment on Mikasa so I stopped fighting it,” Eren turned to Mikasa. “If I couldn’t do anything else, at least I could keep you safe.”

Mikasa closed her eyes, her posture one of regret. “I wanted to protect you, too, Eren…”

Eren smiled weakly. “I know, but it was all I could do at the time,” he turned back to Levi. “Our father called what I am being ‘enhanced’. He said it would keep me from breaking down like other people did, but it has… side effects. I don’t actually know what he did to me, what he put inside me, but I can’t control myself when I get angry. It’s like there is something else inside me that takes hold and my mind clouds over. My inhibitions go away and I become… What you saw in that room. I can hurt and maim and… And kill without being in control of my actions. Mikasa was never enhanced as far as I was so she doesn’t lose control like I do and Armin knows because he’s been with us for as long as I can remember. His grandfather was actually fighting for custody of Mikasa and I before the apocalypse.”

Levi leaned back, processing the information. After a few moments, he sighed. “And this is why Mikasa worries over you.”

Mikasa nodded. “Because before all of this, Armin and I would have to talk Eren down when he snapped. Before all of this, we were all that could stop him.”

“It’s different now,” Eren muttered.

Armin nodded. “It is. I don’t know why, but Levi’s presence has kept you calmer than Mikasa or I ever could.”

“I don’t get it either,” Eren replied. “But I still killed those men. They were dead before I even knew I stood up. I’m a monster like they were.”

“Mikasa was right,” Levi said. “The world is a different place now. Killing them was justified, they would have killed and eaten us otherwise. I don’t know about this power you’re saying I have, but you’re not a monster. If you are, then so am I. I’ve killed men without the allowance of the apocalypse to cover me. I killed to stay alive on the streets. Am I a monster, Eren?”

Eren shook his head almost violently but then hesitated. “Perhaps we are both monsters and that’s why you can stop me,” he whispered.

Levi nodded. “Then we’re both monsters. I don’t mind being one with you.”

“You both keep us safe,” Armin said quietly. “If you think of yourselves that way then I am glad to keep the company of monsters.”

“There is something else we need to address,” Mikasa spoke up. “Our location has been compromised. I don’t think we should stay in this apartment.”

“You’re right,” Armin bit his lip. “What about the woods?”

“The treehouse?” Eren asked.

“What’s the treehouse?” Levi asked.

“In the forest behind the city, Mikasa and Armin and I built a treehouse. The plan was if Armin’s grandpa couldn’t get custody of us, Mikasa and I would run away and live there. Then the world went to hell, but it’s easily defensible.”

Levi shrugged. “Sounds like as good a place as any. Probably safer than the city. When do we go?”

“Tomorrow, in the morning,” Armin suggested.

“It’s a plan. We should pack what we can carry tonight,” Eren said. The four nodded and set to work.

 

``~`**`~``

 

In the morning, the group made their way to the streets, moving slowly towards the forest. It went smoothly until they were about eight blocks from home. A tool slipped out of one of Armin’s pockets and clattered to the ground.

They all froze until the sound of shuffling feet could be heard. Eren pointed towards an alley and they four of them sprinted down it as a large horde made its way towards them. Too many to fight, they wouldn’t survive, but the alley wasn’t safe. Down at the other end, there was a smaller horde, but still to many to take on.

They stood frozen half way down, stuck between the two hordes that didn’t seem to know they were there.

“We could go up that ladder to the roof,” Armin bit his lip and pointed to a ladder just to their left.

“It’s a dead end. We’d die stuck up there,” Mikasa shook her head.

“We fight our way out, then,” Eren said.

“There’s too many, we’d all die,” Levi craned his neck to look up above them.

“Shit, shit, shit, shit,” Eren was muttering, looking at both of their escape routes blocked by zombies.

“Go up the ladder, Eren,” Levi said quietly.

“What? We just got finished talking about how that was a dead end and a death sentence,” Eren whispered back harshly.

“All three of you go up the ladder. It’s only a death sentence if we all go up,” Levi replied.

“What are you going to do?” Eren grabbed Levi’s arm.

Levi turned to Eren and met his eyes. “I’ll keep you safe like I promised.”

“I’m not leaving you down here alone,” Eren growled.

“Go,” Levi shook Eren off and turned to Mikasa. “Keep him alive if I don’t come back.”

Mikasa nodded. “Eren, come on.” Armin was already halfway up the ladder and Mikasa dragged Eren over to it. “Up,” she commanded.

“I’m not leaving,” Eren tried to pull away from her.

“Remember, no matter what, once you’re up, you can’t make a sound,” Levi said.

“Levi,” Eren felt anger rising, everyone around him seeming to be plotting without him.

“If you don’t climb this ladder, I will literally drag you up it,” Mikasa threatened and after a second, Eren started climbing. Once they were both halfway up, Armin just a little ways ahead of them, Levi picked up a brick off the ground and bashed it against the wall. The zombies seemed to perk up at the sound, shuffling forward.

“Eren, I love you,” Levi said quietly, looking up at them one last time before smacking brick on concrete again. “Come on,” he shouted and then sprinted towards the smaller pack of zombies.

Eren let go of the ladder with one hand, slapping it over his mouth, suffocating down the scream of terror that was building in the back of his throat. Levi said he loved him for the first time and all Eren could think was that meant that Levi wasn’t sure if he was coming back from this. No, it meant that Levi was almost positive he wasn’t coming back from this. He could be watching Levi’s last moments right now and Eren wasn’t sure he could do it.

Last second Levi dropped and slid between a zombie’s legs, quickly popping to his feet, he ran towards the wall and used it as his leverage to vault over a second one. Once he cleared its shoulders, he rammed the brick he still carried into an approaching mouth and side stepped. He was shouting the whole time, making sure that all of the zombies were focused on him and not the three up the ladder. Eren watched on, frightened but hopeful. Levi wouldn’t be taken down, he was too fast, too strong. Levi would be fine, right?

As he cleared the last of the smaller group, the larger one shuffling past the ladder to approach him, Levi clapped his hands loudly as he stepped backwards. He cast his eyes up to Eren and made his first mistake. He paused to give Eren a reassuring smile and didn’t see the zombie lunge at him from the left. It grasped onto his arm and Eren’s eyes widened as Levi hissed in pain, wrenching his arm away before a bite could make contact. He stepped back further and looked down at his arm in horror as blood seeped from a deep scratch. Eren instinctively started counting. 1… 2… 3… 4...

Levi glanced back up at the group and Eren saw fear clearly written on his face for the first time. 5… 6… 7… Eren looked down and saw Mikasa nodding at Levi as if she understood what his eyes were trying to convey. 8… 9… 10… 11... Levi glanced around and grabbed a stick off the ground, smacking it hard against the side of a nearby building as he turned and ran. 12… 13… 14… 15... The zombies ran after him, following the sound as he disappeared from view.

Mikasa slid back down the ladder when they were clear, followed by Eren and Armin. “Come on,” she whispered.

32… 33… 34… 35… 36. Eren turned tearful eyes to her. “How will Levi find us?”

“He won’t,” she hissed back. “He’s not coming back. They got him.”

“We don’t know if he’ll turn from a scratch,” Armin said softly. “He wasn’t bitten.”

“We can’t stay here, we have to get out of the city. He sacrificed himself for us, do you want that to be in vain?” Mikasa narrowed her eyes. “Let’s go.”

Eren bit his lip and followed her obediently. He had to believe that Levi would be alright, that he would find them or he might not be able to continue. 

They made their way out of the city, into the vast forest to the west. Eren occasionally marked a tree with the bright blue spray paint they had found. That way, Levi would know which way they went. That way, Levi could find them.

That way, Levi could come back to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Now, now... My lovelies... Don't... Do anything rash.  
> I'll just... go hide.


	14. Year 2, The First Six Months

The treehouse was as they had left it. A year without human care had left the tree around it overgrown, but Eren, Armin and Mikasa didn’t worry about it. Thy climbed the ladder into their sanctuary and set down their bags. As Armin and Mikasa began sorting through their belongings, Eren wandered out onto the balcony and sat down with his legs dangling over the side, star out over the forest. After a little while, Armin came and sat next to him.

“Eren,” he said softly. “Are you alright?”

Eren turned to him and gave a blindingly bright grin. “He’ll come back to us, Armin. I know he will. I feel it.”

Armin smiled weakly. “If he can, I’m sure that Levi will find his way back to us.”

Eren turned back to the forest, the grin on his face turning a little wistful. “We made a promise. He wouldn’t leave if he wasn’t positive that he was going to turn.”

Armin followed Eren’s example and looked over the forest. “Of course, Eren…”

“Of course,” Eren echoed. Armin pretended not to notice that Eren’s smile got more pinched and pained as they sat there. He pretended not to notice that Eren didn’t fully believe himself.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“We need to go back to the city,” Mikasa crossed her arms.

“We’ve only been here a week,” Armin objected.

“The chibi was carrying most of the food,” Mikasa sighed. “I thought he’d catch up to us by now.”

“If we go back, maybe we’ll find him,” Eren said, hopeful. “Maybe he got lost.”

“I think we should stay to the outskirts of the city as much as possible,” Armin said. “The forest is safer, we can climb the trees if we need to get away quickly. The farther we are from the center of the city, the closer we are to home.”

Eren’s eyes darkened momentarily but he nodded in agreement. “So we won’t be going near the apartment.”

“No, getting away from it was too difficult when there was four of us. Without Levi, we might not be able to escape again,” Armin shook his head.

“What if he’s there?” Eren asked quietly.

“Why would he go back?” Mikasa asked. “We abandoned the apartment. He should be looking for us in the forest. The plan was to leave the city.”

Eren nodded. “Alright. But everyone keep an eye out for Levi when we’re getting supplies.”

Armin and Mikasa nodded. “I also think we should build ways to traverse the trees as much as possible. Zombies can’t climb,” Armin added.

“Alright,” Eren stood. “Let’s go.”

The three of them made their way to the city to get supplies. On the outskirts, it seemed like there were a lot less zombies than closer to the center where the apartment was located. Even though they looked for him as they raided apartments, there was no sign of Levi.

As they started to head back to the treehouse, Eren turned around and walked backwards, watching as the city grew smaller. He could feel his heart clench painfully. Levi was there somewhere, trying to find them. He had to believe that, because the only other alternative was Levi was gone. Bitten and turned and Eren had failed on his promise.

No. Levi was alright, somewhere in that city, desperately trying to find them as much as they were looking for him.

Eren had to believe. If he stopped believing, all was lost. No matter what, Eren had to keep believing Levi would come back.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Bridges made of found rope and anything flat enough to walk on soon made their ways between the trees. Being up in the air was their safety and the group took as much advantage of that as they could, spanning bridges all the way back to the city with a way up to them for quick escape.

The overgrown tree branches around the treehouse slowly but surely got cut down. It was a lot of work, their tools woefully inadequate for the task but Eren relentlessly cut away at them over the course of months.

When they didn’t have anything else to do, they would train their bodies. To fight zombies they had to be strong and capable and Armin was aware of what he was lacking. Now that Levi wasn’t with them they were down a fighter. Armin did his best to fill that gap.

His first zombie kill was celebrated with canned peaches. Eren stuck a candle in one of the pieces of fruit in a moment of silliness. Yet, for all that Armin stepped up to fill the role that Levi had left, he knew he couldn’t fill the gaping hole the older boy had left in Eren’s heart.

Eren, who still fiercely believed that Levi would come back to them. Armin and Mikasa caught him sometimes staring out over the trees, his usual joyful smile nowhere to be found. His eyes would search, looking for anything that might be human movement making its way towards them. Neither Armin or Mikasa knew how to comfort him. How could they reassure Eren, tell him what he longed to hear, that Levi would come home, when they themselves were beginning to not believe it?

 

``~`**`~``

 

Six months and not even the slightest sign of Levi. Eren wasn’t blind. He could see Armin and Mikasa slowly stop looking around for clues to his whereabouts. When they went on missions to collect supplies they searched through the apartments without pausing to look out the windows for signs of uninfected life.

Armin was getting stronger. Despite the fact that there were fewer zombies at the edge of the city, they were still there. He had several kills under his belt at this point, carrying the katana Levi had sharpened all those months ago as his weapon of choice.

They all searched together now. Without Levi, Mikasa and Armin had vetoed Eren searching apartments without them. It took longer to do supply runs, but Eren understood. They were afraid. They didn’t want to lose him like they… Like they _believed_ they had lost Levi.

“Look at this!” Armin held up several small packets.

“What’s that?” Mikasa asked.

“They’re seed packets,” Armin said, excitement flooding his voice. “We can grow fresh food!”

“Fresh food?” Eren looked over from where he was raiding a cupboard.

“Yes! Look, Eren, these ones are tomato seeds. Do you remember what a fresh tomato tastes like?” Armin closed his eyes, imagining it.

“I don’t think I remember what any not canned food tastes like, Armin,” Eren replied. “We can garden around the base of the tree the house is in. Maybe we can build a fence around it, too?”

Amin nodded. “There are still animals in the forest who would try to eat our plants.”

“I never thought I’d be excited about tomatoes and cucumbers, but I can’t wait for us to grow these,” Mikasa said with a laugh.

Eren felt a smile tug at the corners of his lips as he watched his sister and his best friend fawn over the seed packets. When Levi finally came home, he’d be happy about the fresh vegetables, too, he thought.

When they returned to the treehouse, Armin immediately began to mutter to himself about the logistics of starting a garden, when they would have to plant, how to build a fence… And Mikasa sat with Eren on the balcony.

“Eren, we have to to talk,” Mikasa said quietly.

“What is it, Mika?” Eren barely glanced at her, performing his usual scan of the forest.

“I need you to think about… The chance that Levi isn’t coming back to us,” Mikasa said carefully.

“Of course he’s coming back,” Eren whispered.

“It’s been six months. That’s… It’s been too long, Eren. Even if Levi somehow survived the scratch and that horde he couldn’t have made it on his own for that long. No one could survive by themselves in that city for a substantial length of time… And even if he didn’t turn if he’s been alone all this time I’d wish for his sake that he did turn. Being forced to be alone doesn’t do good things to a person’s mind, Eren. You remember before the world fell apart, there were all of those studies about people going crazy and stuff because of solitary confinement? That’s what Levi would have been experiencing. I prefer to believe that he didn’t survive, that he hadn’t been alone for months, because if he’s alive out there somewhere he’s probably lost his mind. I can’t… I can’t deal with the guilt that we left him there to go insane without us. I have to believe that he’s dead and gone,” Mikasa turned to the forest, her eyes searching the trees like Eren.

Eren sighed. “I understand where you’re coming from, Mika. I really do, but I can’t think he’s dead or that he’s lost his mind. Levi’s too strong for that. There’s just something keeping him from finding us and eventually he’ll come back. I have to believe that because if I don’t… There’s a darkness in my peripherals. It’s like there’s something else in my brain trying to take me away from you and the only thing that is keeping it beaten back is hope. Hope that Levi will come home to me. To us. I don’t want to lose myself and I don’t want to be a liability to you and Armin. Let me keep my hope, Mika.”

“You are stronger than you give yourself credit, Eren,” Mikasa replied softly. “I don’t think that there is a force even in this shitty world that could make you lost to us.”

Eren smiled at her, even if it was weak. “I’ll protect you both no matter what, just as I always have done, but I need to believe Levi’s not gone, Mikasa. Please understand, this isn't home without him here.”

Mikasa nodded. “Alright, Eren.”


	15. Year 2, Hell Begins

“It took far too long to catch up with you again,” the harsh whisper in Eren’s ear made him see red.

How did this happen? It was an ordinary supply run. A route they’d taken countless times before, to finish clearing a building they had been in several times already. Somehow, while rifling through cabinets,  _ they _ had gotten the drop on them. At first, Eren hadn’t known what hit him, but he had woken up, tied in a familiar room with a familiar throbbing headache. There had been more than three cannibals and now they wanted revenge for their dead, and apparently they had learned their lesson from last time. Gone were the pickable locks, instead Eren found himself wrapped in rope, restrained without hope of escape.

“So, which one of you strangled my brother?” The man standing in front of him asked darkly.

“Screw you,” Eren growled out.

“Ah, so you’re the leader,” the man grinned. “You’ll be the one to tell me. Which one was it?”

“Let us go and find out,” Eren replied, straining against the rope.

The man laughed darkly. “There are ways to get you to talk. In fact, I don’t particularly care which one of you it was. I just care that you pay. Let’s start with the weak looking blonde.”

Armin whimpered as he was wrenched to his feet and dragged to a table in the center of the room. Eren fought his bonds harder, trying to get out, to protect Armin, but the ropes didn’t budge. The other two men in the room restrained Armin as the rope around his body was replaced by chains that connected him to the corners of the table. The leader of the cannibals inhaled deeply near Armin’s skin.

“He might look weak, but he smells divine. We’ll be feasting tonight, boys,” the man said and looked once more to Eren. “Feel like speaking now?”

Eren fought the ropes, even as he desperately spoke. “It was me! I killed them! Punish me! Leave him alone! Just me.”

The man grinned again. “Ah, just you. And where is the fourth one? The scrawny one that was with you before?”

Eren swallowed hard.  _ Levi. _ “He won’t be far behind. You should fear him more than any of us.”

The man narrowed his eyes. “Then I better not waste any time, hm?”

Taking a large, sharp knife, the man reared back and swung without hesitation, slicing off Armin’s arm cleanly, just below the elbow. As Armin screamed and tried to curl up on himself, Mikasa let out a garbled sound of distress and tucked her face into Eren’s shoulder. Eren roared in rage as he struggled harder.

The man inhaled deeply and swung the knife expertly. “After we cut up this little blonde, how about we ravage the girl, boys? Then we can take out time skinning the leader.”

The others grinned sadistically and nodded along with their bosses plans. As Eren felt himself sinking deeper and deeper into his rage, Mikasa’s voice whispered from his shoulder. “Don’t be calm. This time, I won’t try to stop you. Kill them, Eren, kill them. Destroy them, hurt them, ruin them, kill them, please, kill them, teach the world not to hurt our family any more. Kill them,  _ kill them. _ ”

Eren’s struggling stilled as he felt Mikasa’s fingers tug the end of the rope binding him. She pulled until it came loose, unravelling around him and setting him free. He shook the rope off and let his brain fizz out into white noise. He charged forward, taking hold of he man’s arm, pulling it back and way from Armin so he couldn’t inflict any more damage. He bent the arm he held backwards until the knife clattered to the floor, until he heard sickening snapping from the limb, until the man screamed in pain like a wounded animal. But Eren didn’t stop. He dragged the man by his ruined arm as he stalked over to the next cannibal. Growling like the wild animal his mind was turning into, Eren grabbed the second man by the throat and tossed him onto the third.

His grip on the arm he still held tightened as he turned back to the man. Kicking relentlessly, he man howled in pain. The other two stood, trying to protect their leader, one took hold of a metal tray and slammed it into the back of Eren’s head. Eren grunted and turned to the man only to have a gash slashed into his face by the other man wielding the previously dropped knife. Eren growled again, tasting the blood that was leaking from the cut on his lips. He positively snarled, hurling the man by his destroyed arm into the other two, he pounced. Taking the knife that clattered to the floor as the men were sent off balance, he cut the throat of the man who had cut his face. The other received a knife to the heart. Turning back to the leader Eren slammed his broken shoulder into the ground.

“How many more,” he hissed. “How many more of you are there?”

“Please,” the man whimpered. “Please, stop.”

“HOW MANY,” Eren roared as he slammed the ruined shoulder again.

“It’s just me now, there’s no more,” the man gasped out. “Please, don’t kill me. Please.”

Eren stood, leaving the man on the floor. He went back and retrieved the rope that he had been wrapped in and tied the man up. Dragging him up to his feet, he hauled the man out of the room and up the stairs of the building, the man sobbing and whimpering the whole way. 

Opening a window, Eren pushed the man’s head out of it and whispered in his ear. “ _ Scream _ .”

The man obeyed, screaming. Once several zombies had gathered, Eren pushed the man out of the window, watching in satisfaction as the man was surrounded, his desperate wails overlapping with the inhuman groans of the zombies. Eren turned away returned to Armin and Mikasa.

“Eren, come back to us,” Mikasa said as Eren stalked around the two dead bodies. “Eren, calm, please, Armin needs help.”

Eren’s eyes snapped to her and she locked her eyes with his. “Eren, please, calm, come back. Shh, please, Eren, it’s alright, we’re safe now. We’re safe, but Armin needs medical attention. We have to help him, I need you to untie me. Calm, Eren, calm.”

Eren closed his eyes and took a deep breath, his posture relaxing as Mikasa’s words washed over him. When he opened his eyes again they had lost their sharp edge and he immediately turned to Armin.

“Armin! Oh my god, Armin,” Eren undid Armin’s restraints, trying to avoid jostling his severed arm too much, trying not to look at the detached limb. Armin whimpered once he was sitting up, his other hand clutching his upper arm until his knuckles turned white. Eren quickly turned and undid the knot on Mikasa’s ropes before turning back to Armin.

“Armin!” Mikasa ran to their side and gently cupped the side of Armin’s sheet white face. “Tell us what to do. How do we help you?”

Armin was shaking from head to toe, his breath coming in shallow pants and blood was freely splattering from his arm and he swallowed thickly several times, just opening and closing his mouth. Eren closed his eyes and took several slow deep breaths and turned to Mikasa. “We have to do something. Armin’s going to bleed to death.”

“I think he’s in shock,” Mikasa whispered, her eyes wide. “How do we help, he’s the one who knows what to do.”

Eren looked around the room, his eyes falling on a blowtorch. “We cauterize the wound and then we give him a transfusion. From me, I’m type o. Find needles and a tube.” Mikasa nodded as Eren ran over grabbing the blowtorch and the biggest cleaver he could find. Standing back in front of Armin he started heating the cleaver until it was red hot. “Okay, Armin, this is going to hurt really, really bad, but I have to do it. If you can hear me, I’m so sorry, but we’re going to save you, alright?”

Amin didn’t respond and Eren took another slow, deep breath. Mikasa returned holding two needles and a tube. “What do you need me to do?”

Eren glanced at her. “Hold him down.”

Mikasa nodded and placed her hands firmly on Armin’s shoulders. Eren bit his lip and then pressed the heated metal to Armin’s stump. Armin screeched at the pain and Mikasa winced at the smell of burning flesh. A few seconds later, Eren pulled the cleaver away. Staring at the wound he sighed, reheated the cleaver and pressed it on again. This time Armin just let out a series of small, distressed whimpers and Mikasa squeezed his shoulders as tightly as she shut her eyes. Once Eren was satisfied with the cauterization, he grabbed the needles and tubing before quickly stabbing one right into his own vein and connecting the other to Armin.

Mikasa gently guided Armin to lie down again as Eren’s blood flowed into the blonde. Eren sat next to him as long minutes passed and slowly, Armin’s eyes seemed to focus. “Eren, Mikasa…”

“We’re here,” Eren said gently. “We’re with you.”

“D-did good,” Armin whispered.

“What?” Mikasa gently stroked Armin’s hair.

“Did the right thing,” Armin replied weakly.

Eren smiled. “Hey, being best friends with a genius has it’s advantages. Sometimes I pick up a thing or two.”

Armin nodded and closed his eyes. “Don’t give too much.”

Eren laughed. “I don’t think you should be worrying about me right now.”

Armin reached out his hand and limply held on to Eren’s wrist. “I always worry about you.”

Eren laughed again. “We should go home. Can we move you, Armin?”

Armin nodded, his eyes still closed. Eren scooted off the edge of the table and swayed a little bit. Mikasa was immediately at his side. “Are you okay?”

“Woah,” Eren said. “Dizzy.”

“Too much blood,” Armin muttered.

“And your face…” Mikasa said softly, reaching out, her movement stopping an inch from Eren’s face.

He had forgotten the gash he had received. Eren quickly wiped at the still dripping blood, carefully avoiding the cut itself. “I’m fine.”

Mikasa frowned. “It looks bad.”

Eren grimaced slightly. Now that his attention was drawn to it, his face ached, but compared to Armin, this was nothing.

“Alright, we’ll stop the transfusion for now, before I can’t walk home. We can always hook up again later,” Eren said as he pulled the needed out of his arm. “Let’s go home, guys.”


	16. Year 2, Recovery?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look at that. It's Tuesday... Raise your hand of you're surprised. *looks around* No one? Good, I wouldn't be...

Eren, despite his dizziness, carried Armin back to the treehouse. Once there, he hooked them up again, giving Armin more blood. He let Mikasa bandage his face, blocking out his eyesight on the left side. The gash ran from his forehead all the way down over his lips, ending halfway over his chin. Mikasa patched him up the best she could, but the worry was clear on her face as she muttered to herself about the wound being deep. He could tell she felt guilty. She had encouraged him into his rage mode for the first time, but Eren didn’t blame her. Even if she hadn’t asked him to kill their attackers, there was little she could have done to stop him once they had hurt Armin.

Armin was propped against the wall of the treehouse, blinking sleepily at them. “Eren, you’re giving me too much blood.”

“You need it more than I do,” Eren replied, his head spinning from blood loss. “I’ll recover faster than you will.”

Armin huffed out a breath. “It’s not your fault.”

Eren tried to smile at Armin, but failed, his face pinching into a pained expression instead. “I antagonized him.”

“What you said could have dissuaded him, too,” Armin sighed, closing his eyes. “It was luck of the draw that he went with moving faster instead of hesitating.”

Eren sighed. “I wish I’d done it differently.”

Armin was fading into unconsciousness and when he spoke again, his speech was slurred a bit. “Saran wrap. Or tilapia, but we don’t have UV lights…. Saran wrap it is.”

“What?” Eren muttered, but Armin was already passed out and Eren could feel himself swaying now. Or was that the room? He couldn’t really tell anymore, but if the room was swaying that was probably a big problem, as they were in a treehouse. That was the last thing he thought before he collapsed over.

 

``~`**`~``

 

They were grounded for the foreseeable future. Eren’s face was a problem, with the bandages covering his eye, his depth perception was hopelessly thrown off. Mikasa barely let him out of the treehouse’s main room after he almost fell off the balcony.

On top of his hindered eyesight, Eren was drinking a ridiculous amount of water because of the amount of blood he had given Armin, but it wasn’t doing what he had hoped. Before Armin had reached the state he was at now, he had said that Eren was suffering from severe lack of electrolytes and that left the brunette shaking, vomiting and fatigued. Even if Mikasa hadn’t refused to let him move around, Eren couldn’t seem to bring himself to get very far.

Armin was an even bigger problem. Even with Eren’s blood running through his veins, he was healing slowly. The wound was festering, the cauterization had been the only option at the time, but despite their best efforts, infection was spreading. Armin was in a state of delirium, fading in out of fever induced hallucination.

“We need antibiotics,” Eren said after a few days.

“We can’t leave Armin alone,” Mikasa bit her lip. She knew he was right. Armin was going to die a slow, painful death if the infection was left untreated. “What are we supposed to do? Armin is the only one who knows what we should get for him and you can’t go anywhere.”

“What if we go get all of the antibiotics we can find and just give them to him until he gets better?” Eren asked.

Mikasa sighed. “What else can we do?”

Eren reached up and pulled the bandage off of his face, blinking as light assaulted his left eye for the first time in days. The wound had scabbed over, but it wasn’t completely healed, even with Eren’s faster than average healing. He tried to stand, but his legs shook so hard that he collapsed back down to the ground, panting as his heart beat frantically in his chest.

Mikasa stood and placed her hand on his shoulder. “I’ll go. There’s a pharmacy not too far from where we usually scavenge. You stay here and look after Armin.”

Eren nodded weakly. “Don’t take risks… Be safe, Mikasa.”

“From you, that’s funny,” Mikasa teased. “I’ll be back before nightfall.”

It took awhile, but Mikasa came back a few hours later carrying every type of pill she could find. “I don’t know which type we’re supposed to give him,” Mikasa bit her lip after Eren had helped her lay out all the packages.

Eren frowned. “Why don’t we just give him all of them?”

“I’m pretty sure that will kill him,” Mikasa pointed out.

“I don’t mean at once. Like, just two or three at a time,” Eren replied. “I mean, I don’t think he can wait for us to do it one at a time. When was the last time he was awake?”

“It’s been some time,” Mikasa admitted. “Alright. Three at a time. I… I can’t lose him, Eren. I can’t lose another brother.”

Eren pursed his lips but reached out and placed a gentle hand on Mikasa’s shoulder. “We’re not going to lose Armin. We’re going to give him these pills and he’s going to be just fine. Come on, help me. Go get water and I’ll get three meds ready to give to him.”

Mikasa nodded, blinking hard like she was going to cry. Eren desperately tried to believe what he had told her. He couldn’t bear the thought of losing Armin either.

Four days and twelve different medications later, Armin woke up again. He sat up slowly and looked around, blinking. “What the...” he muttered.

“Armin!” Eren scrambled forward. “Oh, thank god. We were so worried.”

“How do you feel?” Mikasa knelt on the other side of Armin.

Armin moaned, pulling the stump of his arm against his chest. “You didn’t saran wrap it…”

“What?” Eren tilted his head to the side.

“I told you to wrap my arm in saran wrap to prevent infection,” Armin groaned out.

“Oh… That’s what you meant,” Eren laughed nervously.

“Of course that’s what I meant,” Armin said, sounding almost angry. “Fuck this hurts. What the hell did you give me? I’m going to throw up, move!”

Mikasa lunged forward and held back Armin’s sweat slicked blonde hair as he vomited all over the floor in front of him. Once he was done, she helped him move away from the area and pushed forward the pills they had given Armin so far. “These are what we’ve given you so far over the course of the past four days.”

Armin’s eyes widened as he looked over all the pill bottles before he looked at Eren and Mikasa in turn. “Jesus, are you trying to finish the job and kill me for good?” 

“What?” Eren spat again and his face contorted in rage before he closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

Mikasa reached across Armin and placed her hand on Eren’s arm, trying to calm him. “We didn’t know what to do. You’re the only one who knows what most of this stuff is. We did our best, Armin.”

“Well, it explains why I’m definitely high right now. Please at least tell me you didn’t give me all of this at once,” Armin glanced at Eren and quickly added, “I’m sorry. I’m just in pain and everything is a bit hazy and... Colors. There are a lot of very bright colors and I feel like I might be sick again.”

Eren nodded. “Don’t apologize. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. It’s not your fault this happened.”

Armin took several slow breaths before he motioned to the rest of the pile. “Let me see everything, because I need to sort it before I pass out again and I definitely cannot stand right now.” 

Mikasa quickly pushed the bottles to Armin. After a few minutes of sorting, he had three piles. Pointing to them in turn, he spoke slowly, his eyes beginning to flutter. “These are antibiotics. Give me this one specifically, and only one a day. This other pile is pain killers. Use these sparingly. This other pile is… Well, most of them are vitamins and we should probably all be taking those with our diet these days. Also, only one a day of each, alright? I’m going to pass out now.”

Mikasa and Eren nodded as Armin lay himself down on the floor and curled up, his eyes closing.

Eren and Mikasa looked at each other and couldn’t help it. They both started laughing. Even in the state he was in, Armin had reprimanded them taking control of the situation that neither of the other two were suited to. Maybe things would look up from here.


	17. Year 2, The Acceptance That Breaks Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one is a bit short, but it hits hard so I thought that was oki... Sorry >.<

It took months. Months for Armin to learn to function again. The phantom pain that plagued his mind, making him want to press his fingers into his missing forearm, want to massage a limb that was no longer part of his body. In his opinion, worse than the pain was the itch. The need to scratch a hand that wasn’t there, an insatiable feeling that drove him up a wall. Things he used to be able to do with no problem were now a challenge, forcing him to relearn how to do everyday tasks one handed.

He learned he could at least use the stump to pin things in place or to hold them, albeit precariously. It was new and strange, but Armin was grateful that he had only lost the arm below the elbow. His full arm gone could have made relearning how to do things even more difficult. Armin knew people had lived like this without problem before the apocalypse, but it didn’t stop him from feeling like a burden to Mikasa and Eren.

What he wouldn’t give to have a prosthetic hand. Before the world had fallen apart, the science of prosthetics had been really impressive. Maybe with one of those he would be able to pull up his own pants without having to struggle and reach around himself several times to get the jeans over his hips. Or maybe he could wash and hang the laundry without having to rely on his teeth to be the second, necessary appendage.

Eren had his own marks from their encounter with the cannibals. The gash on his face had scarred terribly, leaving a long, nasty looking strip of puckered skin from his forehead to his chin and his usually bright blue-green eye dulled and glassy. Armin had looked at it once he was lucid enough, proclaiming Eren lucky to still have full use of his eye.

They both knew that announcement had been for Mikasa’s sake. The girl couldn’t take too much more bad news and Eren and Armin had agreed silently with no more than a glance not to speak about the fact that Eren’s vision was, in fact impaired. When they were alone, Armin had asked Eren if he could see at all out of his left eye and the brunette had smiled that same pinched smile that had been appearing on his face more and more often these days.

“Everything is kind of hazy,” Eren replied. “I can see kind of… shadows. Movement is easier to identify, but it’s not very good.”

“That’s worse than I’d hoped,” Armin sighed.

Eren lifted his hand and waved it off to his left before mirroring Armin’s sigh. “There’s absolutely no peripheral vision, either.”

Armin nodded. “What a pair we make. One half blind and the other one handed. Together, we can be one whole human.”

Eren sighed and looked at the floor. “I think… I think it’s time,” he whispered.

“Time for what?” Armin asked.

“Time to accept that Levi isn’t coming back. I think… I think that part of me had hoped--no believed--that Levi would come bursting through the door at any second and save us. I think that because I was willing to put my hope in that, in him, that it made me less able to go into my rage mode. Maybe, if I hadn’t believed he would come I would have been able to stop them before they took your arm. Maybe neither of us would be left like this. I think I have to let him go,” Eren blinked several times, refusing to let his tears fall.

“So… you’re going to accept he’s dead?” Armin asked carefully.

Eren nodded as Mikasa walked back into the room, carrying water bottles she had filled from recently collected rain water. “What are you two talking about?”

“Mika,” Eren turned his watery eyes to his twin. “Levi’s dead, isn’t he? He’s not coming back, is he?”

Mikasa struggled for a second before she fell to her knees and wrapped her arms around Eren’s shoulders, hugging him close. “I’m so sorry, Eren. I’m sorry. He’s gone. There’s no way he could have survived for this long on his own. It’s been months and months. I’m so sorry.”

Eren’s shoulders shook as he cried and Armin reached out and placed a hand on the back of Eren’s head. “Let’s make a grave. Honor him like he deserves.”

The three of them worked together. Eren made a cross out of sticks and rope they had learned to make from plant fibers. Armin picked wild flowers to decorate the grave and Mikasa found a perfect tree hollow to place their makeshift grave. They stood together, looking over the cross surrounded by flowers, ‘Levi Ackerman’ carved into the wood with the utmost care. Eren opened his mouth and then closed it, unable to bring words forth.

Mikasa stepped up in his place. “Eren lost his love and Armin and I lost a brother. We may not have always agreed with each other, or even gotten along all that well at points, but Levi was part of our family. An irreplaceable member that we have all struggled to come to terms with the loss of. He will be missed by all of us and wherever you are, Levi, I hope the world is a better place there.”

Armin blinked back tears as he nodded along with Mikasa’s words. “I wish we could have saved you like you saved all of us. I wish you could have put your trust in us the way we put it in you. I’m sorry we failed you, but we will live and make sure the sacrifice you made wasn’t in vain. Our lives are your gift to us and we won’t squander that gift. I promise you, we will live and we won’t ever forget you or what you did for us, Levi.”

Eren stepped forward and dropped to his knees in front of the grave, resting his forehead against the tree. “I love you, Levi. Now and forever. I know you told me you loved me, too because you knew you weren’t going to come back to me. I wish I had even half of your strength, but I promise to protect the rest of our family with all that I am in your stead.”

Armin took a step forward, but Mikasa caught his arm and shook her head subtly. “Come on,” she said softly. The two of them retreated back to the treehouse, leaving Eren alone in front of the grave. 

“I didn’t want to believe it,” Eren whispered into the tree. “I wanted to hold on to the hope that you’d come back to me, but I understand now. You’re gone and you’re not coming back. I promise, I’ll keep Mika and Armin safe. I won’t hesitate, like you didn’t. I’ve learned my lesson, Levi. I know you were trying to protect me from feeling like this, but it was too late. I won’t let you down. I’ll protect the lives you left behind and I’ll never love again. It was a weakness, wasn’t it? Don’t worry, no one will ever be able to use it against me again.”

Eren sat there for a while longer. He felt drained, but he knew that he couldn’t stay there forever, no matter how much he might want to. He slowly stood and made his way back to the treehouse. He had promises to keep and a heart to harden.


	18. Year 2, infection

It started slowly. At first, Mikasa and Armin didn’t realize there was a change in Eren until they looked back on his actions later. When they first noticed the difference, the small bouts of recklessness that was creeping up in his actions, they thought it was because he was grieving. Having accepted Levi’s death had to be hard for him, so they wrote it off as something that would correct itself with time.

But it didn’t get better. It got worse. Fights that could be easily avoided, Eren charged into. Risky maneuvers, such as jumping from tree to tree instead of using the bridges they built began to become commonplace. His chosen collection of weapons when they went scavenging grew smaller. Some things that only Armin noticed, like Eren’s complete disregard to protecting his left side. Without the sight in his left eye, Armin knew that he should be taking precautions, but Eren seemed to be ignoring his injury.

Small things that shouldn’t have been became disturbing. Eren took a lot of time out of his usual schedule to help Armin relearn how to wield the katana one handed. Before Armin would have been grateful for the help, the confidence that he could still do what he used to, but now he worried. What if Eren was setting them up to go on without him? What if Eren was preparing to die? To follow Levi?

Mikasa and Armin didn’t talk about it. They silently agreed to do their best to keep Eren with them no matter what, even as the brunette spent longer and longer periods of time kneeling in front of Levi’s grave, whispering words to it that weren’t meant for living ears.

And yet, life went on as it had before. They survived. It was a day like many before, the three of them doing menial task around the treehouse when they heard it. Engines.

Eren ran out to one of the bridges and shielded his eyes to the sun as he looked for the source of the sound. After a few moments, he found it. Scrambling up the nearest tree, he watched as a plane flew over head towards the city.

“Eren!” Mikasa called up to him. “What is it?”

“It’s a plane,” Eren said in awe. As he watched, a box fell from the sky, floating down onto a building in the city. “I think they just left a supply drop in the city.”

“A supply drop?” Armin asked.

“They dropped a crate of some kind,” Eren replied. “We should go get it! Who knows what’s in there!”

Armin and Mikasa shared a look before nodding slowly as Eren climbed back down the tree. “Alright,” Mikasa said slowly. “But we have to stay together.”

“Of course, Mika,” Eren rolled his eyes as he lead the way back to the house and started collecting the supplies they would need to take with them.

As they made their way through the streets of the city, fighting off the zombies that came their way, Armin whispered. “This is awfully far into the city.”

Eren nodded. “It is.”

When they came up on the building the crate was sitting on, they entered slowly. It was an old elementary school, but like most of the buildings in the city at this point, it had seen better days.

Mikasa looked around. “It looks like there were people living here before.”

Armin nodded. “But where did they go?”

As the door shut behind them, a chorus of low growls could be heard from within. Eren took a deep breath. “It sounds like one of them got infected and brought it home. Let’s beeline for the roof, but be careful.”

Armin and Mikasa nodded in response and they started to make their way through the building. For a suspiciously long time, they didn’t encounter any zombies, but as they neared the top floor, Armin paused to look in a room off to their left and that’s when it happened. An absolute flood of zombies poured between them, separating Armin from Mikasa and Eren. Armin gasped as he stumbled backwards, pulling out his katana.

“Armin!” Eren cried as he swung his hatchet at the zombies pushing him and Mikasa back.

They were being forced closer and closer to the roof access as Armin was pushed back further into the school. Armin looked desperately over the horde as he swung, looking for his friends. He locked eyes with Eren for a second before he turned and ran, drawing as much of the horde with him as he could, knowing there were too many. If they all stayed in the hallway, they would die. They had to split up.

As Armin rounded a corner, he gasped, barely managing to avoid another zombie that had been standing there. He turned, swinging the katana around in front of him desperately, trying to thin out the crowd in front of him. There were too many zombies, even if he wasn’t at a disadvantage he couldn’t kill this many. Armin retreated further into the building, running, trying to buy time. Maybe if he had enough time he could think of a way to escape, to rejoin Eren and Mikasa.

Darting into a room and closing the door behind him, he leaned against it as zombies pounded against the other side. Was this it? Was this how he died?

Armin didn’t know how long he stood there, trying desperately to hold the door shut until the sound in the hall quieted. After a few moments, Eren’s voice called out to him, somewhat winded. “Armin?”

Armin cracked the door open to see Eren standing outside, surrounded by corpses. “Oh, god, I thought I was a goner,” Armin gasped out and fell forward to hug Eren.

Eren laughed softly, hugging Armin back. “Me too, for a minute there. You’re so fast, I didn’t know if I’d catch up with you.”

“Did you guys get the supply crate?” Armin leaned back, grinning, relieved to be alive.

“Mikasa is standing guard over it. We should go back and meet up with her,” Eren nodded.

As the two of them headed back up to the roof, Eren felt a hand reach out and grab his left arm. “Mika?” He asked as he turned to face her.

But instead of Mikasa standing there, Eren found himself face to face with a zombie. Armin gasped and stumbled backwards as the zombie lunged forward and sunk its teeth into Eren’s arm. Eren’s eyes widened as he sunk his knife into the skull of the zombie and then turned to Armin.

“Get away from me,” he gasped.

“Eren, no,” Armin whispered.

“Get away! 29 seconds! Run Armin! Get to Mikasa! She’ll keep you safe,” Eren growled out as pain shot through his body. Is this how Levi felt was he died? Did he have to suffer this pain alone?

“I’m not leaving you, Eren,” Armin gasped, tears streaming down his face. “I’m going to stay here with you, okay? Stay with me, too.”

Eren sunk to his knees, clutching his chest. “20 seconds. Please, Armin, run. I don’t want to hurt you. Tell Mika I said I love her, and I love you, too. I love you, you’re my family, please, get away from me before I become a monster I can’t protect you from. Please, Armin,  _ please. _ ”

Armin took two stumbling steps back before he turned and ran. He ran until he could see light through the roof access door and he burst through it, trying to slam it shut behind him, but he could hear the steps behind him, hear the growling, he knew that more than just Eren was back there, chasing him down.


	19. Year 2, Part 6

The guilt nearly blinded him as he struggled to close the door against the zombies pushing it open. Eren would have been on the roof with Mikasa if only Armin had been able to protect himself. If it wasn’t for Armin, then Eren wouldn’t have been bitten. Armin abandoned the door and sprinted towards Mikasa, hating himself every step of the way. He had made them lose another brother, another member of their family, it was all his fault.

“Mikasa! We have to go! We have to go now!” Armin cried as he ran up to her.

“What? Where’s Eren?” Mikasa turned to him and gasped as she saw the horde behind Armin. She scrambled up onto the supply crate and reached out, grabbing Armin’s hand and hauling him up with her. “The roof access is our only way out. We’re trapped up here. Where’s Eren, Armin?” 

“They got him,” Armin sobbed out. “The zombie came out of nowhere, on his left side. He couldn’t react until it was too late. He never even saw it coming.”

“Eren was bitten?” Mikasa took Armin by the shoulders. “What do you mean he never saw it coming?”

Armin nodded and covered his face as best he could. “He’s blind, Mikasa. We were trying to protect you by not telling you, but he could barely see out of his left eye. The zombie leapt out at him on the left side and he… He killed it, but not until after it bit him. He told me to run. I wanted to stay with him, but he made me leave. He said he loves you, he told me to tell you...”

Mikasa pulled Armin against her and hugged him tight. She wanted to be angry with them for having lied to her, but right now all she could do was hold the last of her family in what was probably their last moments. “You did the right thing. It was right.”

The zombies piled themselves against the crate and Mikasa squeezed her eyes shut, hugging Armin tighter as if she couldn’t see it then the bodies wouldn’t be slowly rising, getting closer and closer to reaching them using one another’s bodies to get more height. She knew they were done for, there was no way out of this. As she sat there, her brain supplied a fact to her with almost sadistic glee. It had been almost exactly a year since they fled the city. Nearly exactly a year since they lost Levi. Two years in this wretched world had taken the two strongest people she had ever known. She should have known that Eren wouldn’t last long without Levi, but she hadn’t wanted to lose another brother. Levi had been the calm to the storm that raged in Eren’s sea, a missing puzzle piece that they hadn’t even known was necessary until it was taken away. Without him, Eren had derailed completely.

Eren… What would Eren do? Mikasa’s eyes snapped open. Eren wouldn’t give up. He would fight until he couldn’t stand anymore. Mikasa pulled the hatchet off her back and stood, brandishing it.

“Come on!” She screamed, swinging at the heads getting closer and closer to the top of the crate. 

Armin blinked at her for a few seconds before realization dawned on his face. He pulled his katana back out and started swinging, too. “Just like Levi and Eren, we won’t go down without a fight, right Mikasa?”

Mikasa let out a half laugh-half sob. “Damn right.”

As they swung desperately, the sheer number of zombies keeping them from making any real progress, an inhuman growl, low and constant, from behind the other zombies seemed to draw the attention of the ones around the box. Armin and Mikasa watched in confusion as they started breaking away, heading towards the sound. And then the source of the sound rounded the corner.

“Eren?” Mikasa gasped.

It was Eren, blood leaking freely from the bite on his arm, his skin the sickly pallor of someone turned, he usually mismatched eyes now both the blank yellow of a zombie, growling he tore through the first zombie to reach him. All bare hands and teeth, he ripped them apart brutally one after another until there weren’t any zombies left but him.

Zombie Eren stood still once they were all gone, surrounded by the corpses of once animated zombies, limbs now torn free from torsos, his head tilted, blind eyes trained on Armin and Mikasa. 

“What’s happening? What’s he doing?” Armin whispered.

“Is he watching us?” Mikasa bit her lip. “Is he going to attack us, too?”

“I think he was protecting us. Eren? Is that you?” When there was no answer, no movement, Armin slid off the side of the crate and walked slowly towards Eren. “Eren? Can you hear me?”

Zombie Eren didn’t move, but his head tilted to the other side, his eyes blank and unseeing as he listened to Armin’s voice. 

“Armin!” Mikasa lunged off the crate as well and tried to stop Armin’s advance. “He might bite you!”

Armin shook off Mikasa’s hand. “He would have attacked by now if he wanted to bite us and he fought off all of those other zombies. I wouldn’t put it past Eren to have turned but still be… Well, Eren.”

Mikasa huffed but turned to Eren, too. “Eren, are you in there?”

The head turned the other way again before the face contorted into a snarl and Zombie Eren turned around and raced back towards the door to the building. Mikasa and Armin watched as he tore through a few more zombies that were trying to make their way onto the roof.

Armin laughed. “It’s still Eren, alright.”

Mikasa blinked, but she didn’t seem to share Armin’s amusement. “Let’s get the supplies, it looks like Eren’s looking out for us right now.”

They looted the supply crate, Zombie Eren standing guard over the roof access. Once they had everything they could carry, Armin turned back to Zombie Eren. “Do you think he could carry some of this?”

Mikasa furrowed her brow. “Do you want to get close enough to him to find out?”

Armin bit his lip and then nodded. “It’s my fault, Mika. If Eren is still in there, I won’t shy away from him.”

Mikasa watched with wide eyes and Armin slowly approached Eren. “Hey, Eren, can you hear me? It’s me, Armin. I’m going to take that bag you have, alright? Can you help us bring some of the supplies home? Eren?”

Zombie Eren didn’t move as Armin reached out and slowly took the bag off of him. After filling it, Armin carefully looped the bag back around Eren’s shoulders and sighed in relief.

“I can’t believe this,” Mikasa said, once it was all finished. “It’s like he’s frozen or something.”

Zombie Eren let out a low growl and looked back over his shoulder, down the stairs. “Do you think he can sense other zombies?” Armin asked.

“It’s very possible,” Mikasa bit her lip. “Should we try to lead him back home?”

Armin nodded. “Will he follow us?”

“Only one way to find out,” Mikasa took a deep breath and stepped around Zombie Eren. “Eren, come on, we have to go home,” she said gently.

Zombie Eren titled his head to the side again, but didn’t move. After a few moments, he turned to look back at Armin.

“Is he waiting for me?” Armin stepped around him to stand next to Mikasa.

Zombie Eren took a few steps forward and stopped a few feet behind Mikasa and Armin. “Wow,” Mikasa whispered. “It really is still him. He’s trying to keep both of us safe, and as always giving you priority.”

“What?” Armin blinked at her.

“You’re the physically weakest of us,” Mikasa bit her lip. “We’ve always protected you first and each other second. We figured that we could look after ourselves enough that it would be better to keep you safe. Eren’s still doing that. He wouldn’t leave without you ahead of him. Considering we almost fell apart without your brain to guide us, we felt it was important.”

Armin studied the ground as they walked. He appreciated the sentiment, but he couldn’t help but feel like he didn’t deserve it. They walked in silence for a while and before they really knew it, they were in the forest already.

Any zombie they encountered was shredded by Zombie Eren before it even got close to Mikasa and Armin.

Once they were nearing the treehouse, Armin spoke again. “Thank you both for keeping me safe, but all of the bad things that happened are my fault, too. Maybe you should just let me die.”

Mikasa stopped walking and turned to Armin with watery eyes. “I know you feel guilty for this,” she motioned to Eren. “And you think some of the things that have happened to us are your fault, but they’re not, Armin. It’s the fault of this horrible world that bad things have happened to us and don’t you dare say that you think we should have just let you die, because if we had done that, I would be all alone right now. If we hadn’t looked out for you I would be standing here with the shell of my twin brother… If I hadn’t killed him when he showed up turned. I-” Mikasa paused and turned away from Armin before she started again in a much softer voice. “I couldn’t handle that. You’re the only family I have left now, Armin. Don’t ever say you think you should leave me. I need you here. I need you to stay by my side so I can keep going.”

Armin reached out and placed his hand on Mikasa’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, Mika. You’re right and I won’t leave you.”

Mikasa gave Armin a small, weak smile and then turned to the treehouse. “What are we going to do with Eren? Zombies can’t climb ladders, can they? Do we just leave him down here?”

Armin bit his lip and turned to zombie Eren. “Eren? Can you go upstairs?”

Zombie Eren tilted his head to the side again, but didn’t move otherwise. After a second he let out a low whine like sound that almost made Armin laugh.

“Well, I suppose we could go up and see if he’ll follow us,” Armin sighed. Was this what life was going to be from now on? 

“Okay,” Mikasa replied and headed up the ladder.


	20. Year 3, part 1

Armin leaned over the railing on the balcony while Mikasa sat high up on the ladder as they both watched Eren look up at them curiously from the ground.

“Come on, Eren,” Armin called. “You know how to get up here. You’ve done it so many times.”

“Yeah, come up, Eren,” Mikasa chimed in. “Follow me.”

Armin sighed. They’d been trying for the better part of ten minutes now and it looked like they were going to have to leave zombie Eren downstairs. In one last ditch effort, he called again. “Please, Eren, come up here.”

Eren’s face wrinkled and suddenly steam started rising from his body and he slowly collapsed forward, catching himself on his hands and knees. Armin’s eyes widened as he watched, the sound of gasping breath sounding distinctly human.

Both Armin and Mikasa were frozen for a second before Eren whispered. “Guys?”

And then they were both moving, flying down the ladder as fast as they could to be at Eren’s side.

“Eren?!” Mikasa gasped out, falling to her knees next to him, moments before Armin.

“Guys, what the hell happened to me? I’m so tired and how did we get back to the forest? The last thing I remember is… Is…” Eren looked down at his arm in alarm and reeled backwards when he saw the bite there. “Get away!”

“Eren, calm down,” Armin said slowly. “You’re alright. I think. Somehow?”

“What? Why aren’t you running? I’ve been bitten!” Eren gasped out.

“Eren!” Mikasa cried, trying to snap him out of the spiral. “You already turned!”

“What?” Eren blinked.

“You were bitten and you turned. And then you protected Mikasa and I as a zombie. We were leading you home just now. You let me put the supply bag on you, look. You didn’t try to hurt us,” Armin said. “It was crazy, but you weren’t different. You just wanted to keep us safe.”

Eren gaped at them. “How am I back?”

Armin shook his head. “I have no idea.”

Eren ran his hand over his face. “This shouldn’t be possible…”

“I know it shouldn’t be, but we have you back so I’m not going to argue it,” Mikasa said fiercely, pulling Eren into a tight hug.

Armin took hold of Eren’s arm and studied the bite. “Let me treat this, it’s bleeding a lot. I wonder if this was a one time thing or if you’ll turn again.”

Eren shook his head and the three of them stood and headed up the ladder to the treehouse. “I have no idea, Armin.”

Even though they all had questions, they fell into the usual harmony of life in the forest without a word, Armin treating Eren’s bite and Mikasa unpacking the bags of supplies. “How do we find out?” Armin asked finally.

“I guess we just have to wait,” Mikasa replied.

“Do you really feel safe around me?” Eren bit his lip. “Maybe I should leave.”

“Even as a zombie you are still you, so I trust you,” Armin said.

Eren nodded weakly and silence fell between them. So now they wait.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Nothing happened for three weeks. With the supplies they had gotten from the crate, they didn’t have to return to the city for a while. It wasn’t until they needed to venture back to get some more food that anything happened. As they broke into a new building, Eren started to breath heavier, though he swore he was fine. While Mikasa was picking the lock on the first apartment, it happened.

With a groan of pain, Eren’s eyes slid shut and the color washed out of his skin before Mikasa and Armin’s eyes. When he looked at them again, his eyes were yellow and he made a low rumbling sound in his chest, staring at the door that they were trying to get into.

“Eren?” Armn whispered.

Zombie Eren opened his mouth and an almost screech came from his throat only to be answered by two other inhuman sounds from inside the apartment. Mikasa blinked in surprise. They hadn’t heard anything in the room before.

“Eren, are you with us?” Armin asked, just in case.

Zombie Eren tilted his head in Armin’s direction, even as his blind eyes remained fixed on the door in front of them.

“I think he’s with us,” Mikasa whispered. “Ready? Three, two, one.” She swung the door open and Eren charged forward, meeting the two zombies in the apartment head on, ripping them apart. One of them managed to sink their teeth into his shoulder and he howled in pain before pulling it’s head clean off it’s shoulders.

“Eren?” Mikasa asked carefully after they were safe.

Eren stood stock still, waiting patiently. Armin studied Eren’s shoulder, where blood was seeping through his shirt. “He’s hurt, Mika. Should I try to treat it?”

“Eren, we’re safe now. Can we look at the injury on your arm?” Mikasa took a tentative step towards him.

Then the steam rose and Eren sunk down onto his knees as he blinked, his eyes returning to their usual color. He groaned softly and ran his hand through his hair. “Did it happen again?”

Armin nodded and knelt in front of him, pulling the collar of Eren’s shirt to the side and blinked in confusion. “It’s gone.”

“What?” Mikasa leaned forward.

“There’s no bite mark,” Armin looked at Mikasa.

“I was bitten again?” Eren asked.

“While you were turned,” Armin confirmed. “I was going to patch you up, but the wound is gone.”

Eren took a slow deep breath and pushed himself back up to his feet. “I don’t understand any of this.”

“I think…” Armin bit his lip and then nodded and continued. “I think you turn if you sense other zombies and I think you turn back once we are safe. It’s happened when we talk to you after we are clear.”

Eren leaned against the counter in the kitchen they were in. “The whole thing is exhausting. I’m so tired.”

“So maybe… if you turn, we shouldn’t talk to you until we are back in the forest?” Mikasa suggested.

Eren nodded. “Though I don’t like the fact that I can’t tell what’s going on when I turn.”

Nobody really knew what to say at that, so they began to raid the apartment before heading home.

With no other way to find out more information, over the next months, they experimented. Eren couldn’t truly control the shift, but they learned that if there weren’t too many zombies around, he could fight it off. More than five, though and he had no hope of keeping from turning. It did seem that the sound of Mikasa and Armin’s voices were what had the power to call him back from his shift. If he got hurt as a zombie, the injury would heal as soon as he turned back, the steam rising from him repairing the injuries. Confusingly, however, the damage to his face and eye as well as the bite on his arm remained.

They learned how to live with Eren’s new abilities. They dealt with the shifts and became accustomed to them, like it was normal. It became part of life. In the end, at least they could still be together.

Life returned to the same monotony it had before, until one day, while they were heading to the city to get more supplies and they heard voices. Human voices.

“Look at these bridges,” a female voice said. “These had to have been built by people, right? Zombies can’t do this.”

“Other survivors?” A male voice responded.

Eren glanced at Armin and Mikasa and they nodded at one another. People in this world could be just as dangerous as zombies, they had learned. The safest thing to do would be to get rid of these intruders. They snuck through the bushes in the forest until they could see the two intruders and Eren whistled, signalling the other two.

They all leapt out and pointed their weapons at the two, who all but screamed when they appeared. “Who are you?” Eren demanded.


	21. Year 3, part 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oki, my lovelies. I just want to address something real quick, due to some comments I've been getting recently. I know you're all dying for Levi to come back, and I promise, PROMISE he will. However, I need a decent amount of time to pass for certain character development to happen to all parties involved. You have to understand, we are working with a bunch of extremely loyal people here so there HAS to be a bunch of time between loss and rediscovery. That being said, Ive been powering through these years as fast as possible without losing important plot points to try and get back to the good stuff, so to speak, so just bear with my a little bit more, oki? We are looking at 3 year 3 chapters more and then year 4 happens and I already have year 4 written. Y'all will like it, I promise. We aren't going to be Levi-less for much longer.  
> Oki, now that that is addressed, I'd also like to apologize for my impromptu week off. It had a good reason, I swear. I've spent that time working on the rest of year 3. As a gift to you all, my lovelies, I'm going to dump all three of the rest of year 3 today and tomorrow and Sunday, and then we will resume our regular scheduled programing.  
> Thank you all for your patience. This project is my baby and I want it to come out the way I envisioned it (and I've had the start of year 4 written before anything else. It's what spawned this whole fic).  
> Also! After year 4 starts, you all will get the special companion fic that goes with this one! That's something to look forwards to as well :3

“Holy crap!” The woman cried.

“Who are you?” Eren asked again.

“My name is Sasha and this is Connie,” the woman held up her hands. “We’re not infected, I promise!”

“What are you doing here?” Mikasa demanded.

“We just saw the bridges and thought that maybe we could find other survivors,” Connie spoke up nervously.

“Why are you looking for survivors?” Eren narrowed his eyes.

“We are from a survivor colony,” Connie responded. “If you want it, we can help you.”

Eren shared a glance with Armin and Mikasa. Armin slowly lowered his katana. “What’s the worst that happens,” he said softly. “They turn out like the others and Eren kills them. It might be good to join up with a bigger group.”

“What happened to you guys?” Sasha asked with wide eyes.

“Other humans,” Eren frowned but followed Armin’s lead, lowering his weapon. “We will go with you.” 

Sasha and Connie lead them along the outskirts of the city until they reached a warehouse. Upon entering they found a group of people, all seeming about their age. “This is home,” Sasha announced brightly.

Eren was tense, his eyes darting around, trying to keep all of the others in his line of sight at all times as they were lead in to the building.

“Sasha, Connie! You found others?” a blonde girl smiled brightly.

“Yeah, they were in the woods by those bridges,” Connie responded.

“I’m Christa,” the blonde said. “This is Ymir.”

“What happened to you guys?” The brunette named Ymir looked over them with a low whistle.

“What?” Armin asked, slowly stepping closer to Eren under the scrutiny.

Eren gently leaned towards him, as if to reassure him that they were protected. “What we have gone through is no concern of yours.”

“But it is,” another voice called. “If you are here, then you are part of the group and we look out for our own.”

“Jean,” Sasha said happily. “Where’s dinner.”

“Christa is almost done making it,” the new man said. “Don’t you think about anything but food?”

Eren, Armin and Mikasa all tensed at the mention of food. Eren turned his head back to Christa, who had turned away to stir a pot. “What food?”

“Well,” Christa smiled over her shoulder. “It’s nothing special. Mostly beans tonight, but our scouts found some canned spam the other day so we have a little… uh… meat like product?”

Eren relaxed. “That sounds good.”

“Why are you all so on edge? Who are you?” Jean asked.

“I’m Eren, this is Mikasa and Armin,” Eren responded and held out a hand to Jean. “You’re not the first other humans we’ve met. An argument can be made that we lost our fourth because of them.”

Mikasa scowled as Jean shook Eren’s hand. “And a few other things along the way,” she muttered.

“You all seem to be in rough shape,” Jean commented.

“You lost someone?” Christa asked, her blue eyes softening in sadness.

Eren frowned, his eyes flashing in pain as the conversation drifted towards Levi. “Who hasn’t in this world…”

Christa nodded. “Even so, I’m sorry.”

Eren nodded his appreciation and then they were offered a place to put whatever belongings they had. The three of them were given a space for themselves off in the corner of the warehouse.

“What do you think?” Eren asked.

Armon pursed his lips. “They seem to be genuine.”

Mikasa nodded. “All appear to be about our ages, as well.”

“I’m willing to trust them for now,” Eren agreed. “They don’t seem to wish us harm.”

“So we’re going to stay here?” Mikasa asked.

Eren’s eyes shot around to the people milling around. “For the time being. It’s… It’s nice to see other people, isn’t it? Not to be alone?”

Armin nodded, but frowned. “What do we do about… You, though, Eren?”

“You mean…” Eren’s eyes darted to his bitten arm before he sighed. “I’m not willing to trust them that much. We keep it to ourselves. I’ve learned to control it a bit, so if we aren’t fully swarmed then they shouldn’t ever need to know.”

The other two nodded in agreement as Christa brought over three plates of food. “Here you go! A 104th special! I call it… slop.” She laughed nervously at the end of her words. “I can’t promise it’s good, but it’s got nutrition, at least.”

As they accepted the plates, Armin blinked at her. “104th?”

“Ah, yes. The address of this building was 104 when things like that mattered, so we kind of just started calling ourselves the 104th.”

Armin smiled. “I see. That’s cute.”

Christa blushed a little. “Jean is the one who started it. Said it was easier than calling our names. He’s kind of the leader here, but it’s not super formal. Can I ask what happened to you guys?”

Armin glanced at Eren and when the brunette nodded, Armin sighed. “We were kidnapped by cannibals. We escaped, but realized that they could find us again if we didn’t move so we left the city. In the process, we lost a member of our family. His name was Levi. Then the cannibals came for us again and took my arm and Eren’s sight in his left eye, but they won’t be coming for us again.”

“I’m so sorry,” Christa gasped. “A lot of bad things happened to you while you were on your own, didn’t they. In the 104th, we all take care of each other, so I promise, we will have your back from now on.”

Armin smiled. “I hope we will be able to fit in here.”

“I’m sure you will,” Christa replied. “I’m kind of just the cook around here, but everyone is kind.”

Armin nodded. “Do you need a medic? That’s kind of my specialty.”

“He’s good at it, too, the brainiac,” Eren commented. “We rely on Armin for most of the strategic decisions we make.”

Armin flushed a little under the praise, but immediately shook his head. “Eren is more suited to giving commands than I am. We follow his lead. And Mikasa is so strong, without both of them we wouldn’t have survived.”

“And Levi was braver than all of us,” Mikasa said softly. “We would have all died had he not done what he had.”

“What did he do?” Christa asked with wide eyes.

Eren stood up suddenly and looked away. “Is there anywhere to get fresh air around here?”

“Oh! Yes, there is roof access if you go out that door over there and go all the way to the top of the stairs,” Christa looked surprised.

Eren nodded and walked away. Armin sighed after he left and turned back to Christa. “Please forgive him. Levi was… He was important to all of us. This world made us family, Eren and Mikasa are related by blood, but all of us became a family after all that has happened. They are my brother and sister by circumstance. Levi was the same, and I know Mikasa feels that way as well, but Eren… To Eren, Levi was more than family. He was the center of the universe, more than family, the one that meant more than anyone, the force that had the power to soothe all of Eren’s anger, all of the pain inside him dissipated with Levi’s mere presence. Eren would go to any length to protect Mikasa and I, but he would have laid down his life for Levi. Levi… Levi knew that and didn’t give him the chance to make the choice because he felt the same way for Eren. When we were trapped with no hope to escape, he sacrificed himself to lead the hordes away. After Levi was gone, part of Eren was, too. The part of him that radiated hope and happiness disappeared. I believe that he now exists for the sole sake that we need him, that Mikasa and I wouldn’t be able to make it on our own. Life in this world has not been easy for anyone who made it past the initial infection, but I believe that Eren has lost more than most. He blames himself for losing Levi, for my arm, for his sight, for… so much. Really, most of it is my fault, but that’s just the kind of person Eren is. He takes all of guilt, all of the pain and internalizes it so we don’t have to.”

Christa looked towards the door that Eren had disappeared through. “The poor guy… He’s living by a thread, huh?”

Mikasa dropped her spoon into her plate. “Eventually, he’ll recover. Maybe being here is what he needs. To see that there are other lives he could help.”

Armin nodded. “Perhaps that will help him. Maybe one day he will be able to fill the hole that Levi left.”

“He’s already better than he was,” Mikasa pointed out. “Even if he’s less…”

“Optimistic,” Armin supplied and Mikasa nodded.

“If you’ll have us, the 104th would help any way we can,” Christa said softly.

“Thank you, Christa,” Armin smiled. “We will do our best to fit in and help you all as well.”


	22. Year 3, part 3

Life with the 104th was different. Suddenly, there were people around at all times. Scavenging was faster with more hands, safer with more sets of eyes. Eren, Armin and Mikasa didn’t have time to feel alone for even a second. There was always things to be taken care of, someone who needed help with some task.

Their base was within the city limits, but the three soon learned that most of the zombies in the area had been cleared out by the fighters in the 104th. They had lost people early on as well, but now the area around the warehouse they lived in was clear except for the occasional wandering zombie, enabling Eren to keep his secret. He kept his arm covered at all times, the bite wound there now old and scarred into his skin but still clearly visible.

Time passed, and life in the warehouse became the new normal. It was nice, to have others watching their backs and to return the favor. It was almost possible to forget what horrors existed outside their ten square block radius, to forget what had happened to them, the things that had torn at their souls before. Inside the warehouse, the 104th radiated with hope. Eren, Armin and Mikasa were willing to call themselves members of the 104th as time wore on. They found themselves willing to build their lives around the exuberance of the other residents of the warehouse.

It took months, nearly nine to be exact, but one day, to Armin and Mikasa’s amazement, Eren smiled again. It was while he and Jean bickered, the two of them like water and oil when left to their own devices, even if they worked together amazingly well when it was needed. A typical argument, broken up by Sasha whining that she was hungry and if they just hurried up and stopped fighting like an old married couple she’d be able to eat sooner. And as they watched, Eren’s face went from shock to confusion to a bright smile with laughter bubbling from his lips for the first time since the memorial to Levi was erected.

Armin couldn’t help it. He fell against Eren’s chest, his good arm winding around his friend’s waist, hugging him tight. “It’s good to see you smile, my brother,” he whispered.

Eren tensed for a second before he patted Armin on the head. “I thought I had forgotten how.”

“So did we,” Mikasa replied. “Don’t stop now that you’ve learned how to again.”

“I… I think I can manage that,” Eren replied. “It’s been… almost a year since I accepted L--He was gone. I think it’s time I started looking forward again, don’t you think?”

“I didn’t know him, but from what I’ve heard from Mikasa and Armin, I’d think Levi would be angry with you for having wallowed as much as you have,” Christa piped up. “He cared enough to not want to see you like that.”

“That--” Eren started but he stopped and looked at the ground.

“That is definitely true,” Armin said, stepping back and crossing his arm across his chest, the stump of his other arm attempting to follow suit, but somewhat ruining the effect of the stern stance. “You know Levi wouldn’t have wanted you to be sad. You know he loved you, and now we have a bigger family and we won’t ever forget how much Levi meant to us, but we can move forward with our lives, survive like we promised him.”

Eren smiled, weak but true. “And we will survive.”

“That damn chibi would kick us out of the afterlife if we didn’t live long lives,” Mikasa grumbled and Eren laughed again.

“He would, wouldn’t he?” Eren giggled out, even as his eyes filled with tears. “Make us go back and continue living until our time was truly up. He’d say ‘get out of here, you brat, it’s too soon.’”

Armin nodded. “That’s exactly what he would say.”

Eren ran his hand down his face as he looked up towards the ceiling. “I missed… Smiling. God, this pain will never go away, not when I loved someone so much, but it… It becomes manageable when I realize what is still left to protect. My precious family, my beloved friends. There’s still so much in this world that I need to protect. You all mean the word to me.”

There was a silence for a moment while Eren’s words sunk in and then Sasha draped her arm over Eren’s shoulders. “Awesome. This is an amazing breakthrough, and I’m so happy for you, but I would kill for a potato right about now. Can we eat?”

“Jesus, potato girl, can you never take anything seriously? And there’s no way we have potatoes,” Jean rolled his eyes.

Eren laughed again. “I think eating sounds great. What’s for dinner tonight, Christa?”

Christa’s usually bright smile faltered slightly at the mention of food. “Uh… Slop?”

“You know, I don’t even care that it tastes like someone else ate it first. I’m just SO HUNGRY,” Sasha proclaimed. “Let’s get to it!”

As the group migrated towards the food, Armin smiled. Somehow, they had made it through.

 

``~`**`~``

 

A day filled with normal routine was disturbed by Sasha bursting into the main room of the warehouse.

“Zombies! A big horde is headed this way at a dead run!” She cried.

There was silence for a minute before Eren, Armin, Mikasa and Jean all sprinted for the roof access. Once there, Sasha on their heels, they looked down the street, to see the horde. Eren took in a sharp breath and stepped backwards, his hands balling into fists so tightly that his knuckles turned white and Mikasa put a steadying hand on his arm, trying to calm him. She and Armin shared a look, knowing that Eren was already struggling with the call the shift. They had been so secure here, had felt so safe that all three of them had almost forgotten the risk they exposed themselves to by caring for the 104th. Should any of their friends find out about Eren, they would have to leave them all behind, they would have to lose people again.

“I’m alright for now,” Eren muttered.

They turned back to the oncoming horde and Jean shook his head. “What are they chasing? Why are they running?”

“They couldn’t be alerted to us, could they?” Armin looked shocked. “They had to have come from more than a mile away! We keep this area clear. How could they know we were here?”

“Exactly,” Jean replied. “There’s no way they’re coming for us so we should just sit quietly and let them pass by, right?”

“If it’s not us, what are they chasing?” Mikasa said softly, scanning the street. “There’s no one down there.”

As they watched, the horde turned and started to throw themselves against the walls of the warehouse. Eren’s breath was labored as he stumbled backwards from the ledge, but he fought down the waves of pain. “We have… Have to get everyone out of here.”

The others nodded in agreement and raced back downstairs only to be met by the rest of the 104th who were fleeing upwards.

“They’ve almost broken down the doors. There’s no way out!” Connie cried desperately.

“The third floor!” Jean commanded. “We’ll close ourselves in a room and figure out how to get out.”

They all turned and ran back, going up to a room they could barricade closed even as the sound of inhuman growls echoed behind them. Christa squeaked in fear as they cowered in the room, Ymir hugging her protectively.

Armin clapped his hand over his face, terror in his eyes. “This is all too familiar,” he whispered. “This is how-” he cut himself off abruptly and shifted closer to Eren and Mikasa, knowing that they, too, recognized this as too painfully close to the day that Eren got bit.

As the howls got closer, Eren’s breathing got harsher and he gripped Mikasa’s wrist for support. He squeezed his eyes shut and whined softly. There was too many--Too many zombies calling for him...


	23. Year 3, end (technically the start of year 4)

“There’s something wrong with this,” Jean gritted his teeth as he pressed his back to the door, pinning it closed. “The zombies aren’t moving sporadically like they usually do. It’s almost like they have some kind of intelligence--hey! Are you alright?!”

Even as he spoke Eren doubled over, pulling roughly at his shirt, a scream ripping from his lips. “Not… Now….No…”

“Eren, hold on!” Mikasa gasped, turning to kneel at Eren’s side.

“Too many,” Eren gasped out.

“We have to get him away from them,” Armin said desperately.

Eren shook his head. “It’s too… too late. I can’t hold it back much longer.”

Armin looked desperately at Mikasa who was frozen in terror. “What do we do?” She whispered.

Eren looked up and smiled, despite the pain in his eyes and the labored breathing affecting his speech. “The 104th n-need a distraction to escape. I can provide... it. Then we will need to run before…. before they kill me for what I am.”

Mikasa steeled her gaze and nodded. “We will be right behind you,” she said with determination. As Armin drew his katana, she turned to Jean. “Clear a path! Eren is going to come through. As soon as there is space, everyone needs to run! Am I understood?”

“What-” Jean started, but Armin cut him off.

“Trust us one last time,” he said softly. “We won’t let anything happen to you all.”

As Jean slowly stepped away from the door, Eren screamed again, his time his usual voice was mixed with the inhuman howl of his shifted form. All eyes in the room were on him as he turned, slowly standing and tilting his head to the side.

“Eren,” Mikasa said, her voice strong even as everyone else in the room besides Armin seemed to cower away. “Protect our friends.”

Eren’s face contorted with rage as Armin reached for the door handle and swung it open to reveal the horde outside. Eren charged forward, ripping them apart, snarling all the way. It was gruesome to watch, Eren sinking his teeth into necks and ripping out chunks out flesh, fingers digging into limbs and pulling harshly to sever them completely, his growl drawing the attention of the other zombies away from the humans. Any stragglers that Eren hadn’t finished off before moving on as he carved into the horde were taken apart by the blades of Armin and Mikasa.

The 104th ran as soon as a path was cleared for them, heading for safety as Eren, Armin and Mikasa fought on. Christa paused before running, her hands shaking as she brandished one of the knives she had used for cooking.

“I-I can h-help,” She stuttered out.

“Get out of here, Christa,” Mikasa said as she caught a zombie Eren had tossed to the side on the blade of her hatchet.

“W-we c-cant just leave you!” Christa looked up with big eyes.

Armin looked at her and smiled as he momentarily abandoned his post, Eren doing most of the work anyway. “Trust in us, Christa. Go with Ymir and get to safety.”

Christa hesitated for a moment before she nodded and ran off with the others. Once the horde was taken care of, Mikasa looked in the direction that their friends had run. “We go home, then?”

Armin nodded. “And we bring down the bridges so they can’t find us again. We can’t risk anything happening to Eren.”

As Armin and Mikasa set off, Eren didn’t move. He whined softly, looking in the direction the 104th had gone. “Come on, Eren.”

Zombie Eren turned his blank eyes to them and whined again.

“We have to leave them, now, Eren,” Armin bit his lip. “You know that.”

Eren whined again, but headed off after them. Once in the woods, Mikasa and Armin talked Eren back down to human. He closed his eyes, completely reverted, taking a deep breath to try and steady himself. “I’m going to miss them,” he whispered through the exhaustion.

“We all are,” Armin agreed. “But we knew that this day might come… And we protected them until we couldn’t anymore and that’s what’s important.”

Returning to the treehouse was bittersweet. It was still home, even after all the time spent in the warehouse with the 104th, but now it seemed eerily quiet. The three of them systematically removed the bridges they had built so no one would be able to find them again. They returned to the routine of life in the treehouse. Taking care of chores, scavenging, Eren spending an awful lot of time at Levi’s grave, his smile again seeming lost.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Months later, it was like their time with the 104th had just been a pleasant dream. Eren, Armin and Mikasa were out scavenging when it happened again. The groans and screams of a horde of zombies could be heard, and when they looked down the street, they could see more zombies than they had ever seen before sprinting down the block.

Eren gasped and readied himself, but Armin took hold of his arm. “There’s too many, even for you. You’ll die. We have to run.”

Eren glanced at him and then nodded and the three set off running. As they fled, they could hear the growls coming from other directions, slowly surrounding them. As a last ditch effort, Eren darted onto an abandoned bus and they squatted down between the seats to try and hide. Maybe they would be lucky and the horde would pass them by.

But it was to no avail. The horde surrounded the bus, shaking it with their bodies as they threw themselves against it. Eren squeezed his eyes shut, trying to fight off the urge to turn, knowing Armin was right, there were too many zombies. Was this how they died? Was it finally too much? Would their promise to Levi’s grave to live long lives turn out to be a lie after all?

Eren was having trouble concentrating on anything but the pain radiating through his body. He had to hold it off, had to help Armin and Mikasa figure out a way to escape before he shifted and was no longer logical, but their voices seemed dull in his ears now. He could barely hear them with how loud the rushing in his ears was.

He knew this was the end of them. He knew that they wouldn’t be able to get out of this without something extraordinary happening.

“Levi…” He whispered into his knees. “Help us… We’re not going to make it, please, help us...”


	24. Year 4, rediscovery

Eren could feel the shift. The urge was just getting more powerful as zombies piled themselves against the sides of the bus. He bit back a groan of pain as he crouched lower in one of the back seats of the bus Mikasa, Armin and himself were hiding in. 

“Eren,” Mikasa whispered. “Are you alright?”

“They’re calling me…” Eren whispered back, clutching his chest.

“It’s okay, Eren, we’re here,” Mikasa scooted over to him and gently patted him on the back.

“Ahh….” Eren gasped. It was stronger this time. He didn’t know if he could hold on, even Mikasa’s gentle touch felt like blades stabbing into his shoulders. The bite wound on his arm throbbed painfully. “Get away from me!”

Mikasa leaned away from him. “Fight it, Eren.”

“I can’t,” Eren whimpered.

“Eren, you have to hold it together,” Armin whispered. “We have nowhere to go from here. The bus is surrounded. There’s too many to fight off.”

“It hurts,” Eren whined.

“What’s that?” Mikasa said suddenly. Her head was craned to peek out of the windows of the bus, looking at the movement outside.

Eren wanted to look, see what was happening but the all too familiar haze of the shift was falling over his eyes, blurring his mind. He thought he heard Armin and Mikasa yelling, but he couldn’t tell. Had he shifted fully? How long had it been? He didn’t know. What was happening? He felt warm. Hot. Too hot. Confined. He didn’t like it. Lash out, get away. Mikasa. Armin. Protect. Have to protect them. His mind was dull. He had to escape. Why? Why did he need to run? He had to run. Attack. Protect. And then everything went crystal clear.

“Took you long enough…” Eren whispered, smiling at the figure in front of him before his eyes slid shut and he knew no more.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Armin was at a loss. He was watching his best friend shift right in front of him, screaming in agony as he went, attracting more and more zombies to their bus. It was difficult enough when they were somewhere they could talk Eren down from his shift, but they were trapped here. If they didn’t do something, Eren would tear out of the bus and put them all in danger, if not get himself killed before they could get him back. 

“What’s that?” Mikasa asked, looking out the window as a blur rushed past behind the zombies, cutting them down swiftly.

“People?” Armin gasped. “Are they flying?”

Mikasa lunged forward and slammed her fists against a window as a zombie almost got a hold on one of the people. The sound had the zombie turning to look at the bus, giving the person enough time to cut it down.

“They’re on wires?” Mikasa gasped out.

Another inhuman scream ripped from Eren’s throat, drawing their attention back to their little problem on the bus.

“We have to get out of his way,” Armin said. “He wants to protect us.”

“If those people see him in his shift, they’ll kill him,” Mikasa turned wide eyes to Armin. Armin swallowed. How were all three of them going to get out of this alive?

Suddenly the doors of the bus burst open. “Hey, kids, are you alright?” A blonde woman stood in the front of the bus. Soon two men were standing behind her.

Mikasa stood, blocking Eren from view. “We’re fine,” she said quickly.

Armin glanced back at her, biting his lip. “Mikasa,” he said slowly. “We have to get off the bus.”

Mikasa nodded and the two of them started to shuffle forward. They had to get the people off the bus before they saw Eren. If they could close him in, they could come back and get him later and hopefully it won’t be too late to make him shift back. They never had to leave him like this before.

“What are you doing here?” the woman asked.

“We were on a supply run,” Armin started, but the inhuman groan from the back of the bus had all five heads turning.

“No, Eren,” Mikasa whispered.

“Shit, there’s one on the bus with you?” One of the men asked and he drew a blade.

“No!” Mikasa cried out, stepping between them. “I won’t let you cut him down!”

“Move, kid,” the other man said. “Whoever he was to you before, he’s one of them now.”

“You don’t understand, we can get him back!” Armin gasped, holding his hands up in a desperate plea.

“Eren!” Mikasa turned to Eren behind her. “Armin and I are going to protect you, now, okay? We’re going to clear a path for you, and you have to run, alright? Can you hear me? You have to escape. We’ll keep you safe. Run home and we’ll meet you there. Don’t protect us this time. As soon as you have a path, go. Do you understand?”

Zombie Eren growled low in his throat, gnashing his teeth together, his dead eyes trained on the people in front of the bus from his crouched position between the seats.

“He doesn’t get it, Mika!” Armin reached out to her, desperation in his eyes. “We have to eliminate the threat.”

Mikasa turned to the group in the front of the bus again, drawing her hatchet as Armin mirrored her posture with his sword. The soldiers in front of them looked at a loss of what to do until a voice called from the door to the bus.

“What’s taking so long?” A familiar voice called. “Evacuate the brats and move on, we have a patrol.”

“Captain!” The woman turned to the door to the bus and Armin felt all the hair stand up on the back of his neck.

“Levi,” he whispered, his arm lowering just slightly at the voice of what should be a ghost. Levi was alive? He would help them, wouldn’t he? He would understand.

There was silence for a few seconds and then familiar light footsteps climbed the steps. “Armin?” Levi appeared, standing in front of the others, something akin to shock in his eyes.

“You didn’t turn,” Armin gasped.

“Where’s Eren?” Levi’s eyes shot around.

“Captain, I don’t know who these kids are to you, but there’s one of them on the bus behind them, we have to kill it, but they won’t let us through,” one of the men said quickly.

Levi’s silver eyes shot from Armin to Mikasa’s defensive posture. As they did, Eren lurched up from where he had been crouching and lunged at Mikasa. Levi moved without thinking. He ripped her forward and held out his blade, barely registering the sound of Mikasa’s hatchet hitting the floor as he let Eren peirce himself.

“Like we agreed,” Levi said quietly. “If you turn, I’ll cut you down.”

“Took you long enough…” Eren said weakly, and he grinned up at Levi as he slumped forward.

Armin ran forward, jumping the seats to cradle Eren in his lap. “Eren!”

“No!” Mikasa screamed and she beat at Levi with her fists, blind rage leading her. “I’ll kill you! I’ll kill you! He never gave up on you and you killed him!”

“I’m sorry,” Levi whispered. His voice was small, not strong like it usually was. His breaths were shaky as he took the hits Mikasa was delivering without attempting to pull away. “He… He was going to bite you, I’m sorry. God, Eren, I’m sorry.”

“He kept talking about ‘when Levi comes back’ and how much he loved you and-and-” Mikasa took a deep breath and sent a dark glare to the three still at the front of the bus. “Captain, huh? Did you find it easy to replace us? Did you replace Eren, too?”

“What?” Levi gasped.

“Are you sleeping with one of them? How long did it take to forget how much my brother loved you? A week, two? You’ve only abandoned us for two years,” Mikasa growled out.

“I couldn’t find you,” Levi hissed. “I went home, where were you?”

“We left the city like we planned!” Mikasa shot back.

As Mikasa and Levi argued, Armin frantically lifted Eren’s eyelids, noting that they were back to teal on the right and dulled green on the left. Armin scrambled to lift his friend’s shirt, noting the wound to his chest was steaming, still present but healing before Armin’s eyes. Taking a deep breath and holding his hand in front of Eren’s face, he felt the gentle exhale of breath. Armin let out the breath he didn’t even know he was holding and turned to the two still bickering behind him.

“Mikasa!” Armin shouted, drawing Mikasa and Levi’s attention away from each other. “Eren’s still breathing. The wound seems to have missed his heart and he wasn’t out of the shift when Levi stabbed him. He healed and I think he’s totally back.”

Levi’s eyes shot over to to Armin. “Excuse me?” He asked slowly.

“Don’t tell the traitor anything,” Mikasa hissed.

“Captain, there’s another horde coming our way. We should move back to headquarters,” a third stranger appeared.

Levi’s eyes were shooting between Mikasa, Armin and Eren as he seemed to be trying to work out what was going on. After a moment he turned to the group behind him. “Petra, Oluo, take them back to headquarters, Eld, Gunther, you come with me to buy them time to get clear. We’ll meet you back at base.”

“Come on, you two,” Petra said after she performed some sort of salute to Levi.

Levi paused. “All three of them.”

“What, Captain!” the man called Oluo started to protest, but Levi sent him a dark look.

After a second, he spoke again. “Chain Eren up if it would make you feel better, but if he’s not at headquarters and alive when I get back, my sword will be up your ass.”

“Yes, Captain,” Petra stepped forward and nodded at Levi before he swept off the bus, followed by the other two men. “Come on kids, the faster we get to headquarters, the less the Captain has to work to cover us.”

Mikasa looked like she was going to protest, but Armin reached out and put his hand on her arm. “Eren deserves to see him again and we all deserve to find out why he never came for us.”

After a second, Mikasa nodded. “Fine, but we’re not staying very long.”

Armin nodded and they both carried Eren out of the bus after the two people Levi had left them with.


	25. Year 4, part 2

When Eren’s eyes blinked open, he found himself in a dimly lit room. He looked around slowly, trying to figure out where he was. After a few moments, he noted that he was, in fact, chained to the bed. He sat up in alarm, trying to piece together his last memories. The bus. He must have shifted on the bus. Where was Armin and Mikasa? He couldn’t have… He didn’t bite them did he? He shifted nervously, looking around for any sign of them. Where was he, anyway? If he had been caught mid shift, then he shouldn’t be alive. There was no way whoever owned this place he was in would know that he could become human again.

Even more than the curious circumstance was the last of his hazy memories. A figure, piercing him. It had to have been a dream, he was still alive, after all. Not cut down in the back of a bus and the figure had been so… Warm. So familiar. There was no way it could have been what his brain claimed. He closed his eyes, forcing the memory down. Hope was dangerous.

“I see you’re awake,” A voice called.

Eren’s eyes shot open and he looked around, noting that he was actually in a cell of some sort. On the other side of the bars sat a man with two tone hair. He leaned forward a bit and studied Eren, waiting for him to speak.

“Where… Where’s Mikasa and Armin? Are they alright?” Eren finally managed.

“The people we found you with are safe,” the man said. “You didn’t bite them, if that’s what you are asking.”

Eren nodded and sighed. “Where am I?”

“This is the headquarters of the Scouting Legion. Humanity’s push back against the titan hordes,” the man said.

“Titan hordes?” Eren cocked his head to the side.

“That’s what we are calling the zombies. Titans. We believe that they are reanimated due to a mutation in a drug that had been in the process of being developed called Titan,” the man replied.

Eren blinked. “There are many survivors?”

The man nodded. “Yes.”

“Who are you?” Eren asked.

“I am Erwin Smith. Commander of the Scouts, but I’m much more interested in who you are,” Erwin leaned further forward. “According to the special ops squad members that have returned, you were turned when they found you, and yet here you are. Due in part to the young lady’s fierce protectiveness, the young man’s interesting but seemingly impossible claims and the demands of the special ops squad captain.”

“Mikasa and Armin have dealt with me for a year now, they know about my shifts and that I can be pulled back from them,” Eren said slowly, trying to sort the information he had just received. “But why would the special ops captain want to protect me?”

Erwin leaned back thoughtfully. “I’m not clear on the details myself, but according to the squad members who have returned he wasn’t acting like himself.”

Eren sighed. “I don’t doubt that. If he ordered the rescue of me after I’d shifted, he has to have something wrong in his head, no matter what Armin and Mikasa said.”

“Is that what you think of me?” a painfully familiar voice called and Eren’s eyes shot to the side.

“Levi…?” He breathed out slowly.

Levi stepped in to view and leaned against the wall, arms crossed over his chest, wearing a uniform similar to the one that Erwin was wearing. There was a frown on his lips as he studied Eren through the bars. “Eren.”

Eren couldn’t stop himself. He scrambled forward to the end of the chains that secured him to the bed. “You’re alive… You’re in one piece! Why didn’t you come back to us?”

Levi’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I wasn’t the one who didn’t go home.”

Eren’s eyes widened. “We left a trail as we left the city. You could have followed us out.”

Levi blinked. “You did what?”

“You never found it,” Eren breathed.

“So, am I to understand that you two know each other from before we found you, Levi?” Erwin interjected. “Are these people your-”

Levi nodded and cut Erwin off. “Eren and I survived together for a year after the infection started.”

“Eren!” All three heads swiveled to see Mikasa and Armin barrelling down the corridor, followed by a brunette woman with glasses.

“Mika,” Eren smiled. “I’m glad you’re safe.”

“Why is he chained up like an animal?” Mikasa growled.

“Safety,” Erwin offered. “He’s been infected.”

“Eren wouldn’t hurt anyone,” Armin said quietly.

“I believe the report says he lunged at you,” Erwin replied smoothly.

Mikasa chewed on her lip. “He wasn’t attacking me,” she said finally. “I was just in the way.”

“What do you mean?” Erwin asked.

Mikasa’s face twisted into a scowl. “I’m not telling you anything. Certainly not with the traitor present.”

Levi narrowed his eyes at her. “I already told you, shitty brat. I couldn’t find you.”

“Likely story, shorty,” Mikasa growled.

“Cut it out,” Eren yelled. “Fuck, I thought you two had gotten over the constant bickering.”

“I tolerated him when he was your lover,” Mikasa crossed her arms. “Now he’s just the reason you’ve been hurt. He’s the reason you got bit.”

“Excuse me?” Levi hissed. “I believe I told you to keep him safe if I didn’t come back. Who’s fault is it he got bit?”

“He’s alive, isn’t he? We were doing just fine until you stabbed him,” Mikasa took a step forward.

“Oh ho, lover?” the brunette spoke up for the first time.

“Shut it, shitty glasses,” Levi growled.

“Mika,” Eren said firmly. “The reason I got bit was my own stupidity. You know that.”

Armin bit his lip. “Mikasa and I aren’t blind, Eren. We watched you give up hope that Levi was alive. It took you longer than it took us, but once it hit you that he wasn’t coming back, you started taking reckless risks, almost like you were trying to die. You might not have realized it, but we did. That’s why Mikasa blames him, especially now that we know he’s alive.”

Eren sat back on the bed with a sigh. “I know,” he muttered. “But that doesn’t change that it was my own fault that I was bit.”

“I think we need to tell them the truth,” Armin said quietly.

Mikasa rounded on him. “How could you say that?”

“Don’t you want Eren out of chains?” Armin blinked at her. “The information we have could do that.”

“Tell them,” Eren agreed. “I don’t remember enough when I shift to give an accurate account, but you two have been with me every time.”

“This isn’t an isolated occurrence? He shifts back and forth at will? How long has he been infected? Does his bite work the same as a titan’s when he’s like he is now? How many times has he turned and come back? How long can he maintain it?” the brunette asked, bouncing on the balls of her feet, the words rushing out.

“Hanji, slow down,” Erwin said calmly. “Let the kids speak.”

“I wouldn’t call it at will,” Armin said slowly. “When he’s too close to other zombies--titans--he turns.”

“It’s like they’re calling out to me,” Eren clarified. “It’s like a pull. I can’t stop it. All I have after that point is hazy memories. Sounds, smells, the occasional picture in my mind. I can’t tell the passing of time or what I’m really doing once I go.”

“But he’s not dangerous,” Mikasa added. “Not to us, at least.”

“Explain,” Erwin said. It wasn’t a request and Mikasa bristled a bit, but continued.

“Eren’s never attacked us when he shifts. As long as he can identify our voices, we’re safe from him. However, he’ll attack anything threatening us, which is why he lunged on the bus. It wasn’t me he was aiming at, I was just between him and the idiot who pointed a sword at me. At worst, he would have knocked me out of the way,” Mikasa crossed her arms. “Once we’re safe, usually we just talk him down and he comes back to us like this.”

“We were trying to contain him on the bus because he would have tried to take on all of the titans outside if he shifted fully and we were concerned about how likely he was to survive fighting that many. Also, if any had gotten past him, it was too confined for Mikasa and I to protect ourselves. Your arrival saved us the trouble of deciding what to do,” Armin added.

“Oh, boss, can I study him, please?” Hanji begged.

Erwin shot her a quick glance before turning back to Eren. “I am interested in knowing how this is possible.”

“I’d bet willpower,” Levi snorted. “If anyone is capable of this it would be this headstrong idiot.”

Eren let out a small sound, almost akin to amusement. “You of all people would know how stubborn I can be.”

Levi bit back a smile. “I would.”

“I think we can unchain him safely,” Erwin said. “But I want him under 24/7 surveillance.”

“I can handle it,” Levi volunteered.

“Given your previous involvement, I wonder if that is the soundest plan?” Erwin said carefully.

“I’ve already put him down once,” Levi pointed out. “Clearly not fatally, but at the time, I thought it was.”

“I object on that basis,” Mikasa grumbled.

“I was doing my job,” Levi glared at her. “Being apprised of all the facts changes my view of that moment, but also I’m required to protect my subordinates. That ‘idiot who pointed a sword at you’ is someone under my command.”

Mikasa crossed her arms. “How are we supposed to trust you again.”

“You never trusted me,” Levi shrugged.

“We trusted you with our lives,” Armin objected.

Levi’s eyes flicked to him. “Did you? Or did you just tolerate me because I could reign in the suicidal bastard?” 

Eren barked out a laugh at being called a suicidal bastard. It was pretty accurate, he mused. After everything, he couldn’t deny it.

Armin frowned. “If we didn’t trust you, we wouldn’t have gone up the ladder, Levi.”

Levi faltered, but before he could respond Mikasa exploded. “We were a  _ family _ . We didn’t know what would happen from one day to the next, but we were the only ones we had. With or without the relationship you had with Eren, you were my brother. We watched each other’s backs and we may not have seen eye to eye but I trusted you to protect all of us! We  _ all _ grieved when we lost you. Just because you found a new family doesn’t mean we stopped caring as soon as you were out of sight! We marked our escape from the city so you could find us, but you never came! How easy was it for you to forget us? Did you replace us faster than we gave up on you coming home? Armin and I accepted that you were dead after six months. It took Eren almost a year. Would you like to see the grave we finally made? We honored you. I could take you to it blindfolded! How dare you stand there, all high and mighty after everything we went through!”

Levi growled low in his throat and took two large steps forward and grabbed Mikasa by the front of her shirt. “How dare you, at least you had each other, I was-” he started, but was cut off by Eren’s dangerously calm voice.

“If you two don’t cut this shit out, I’ll make you both regret it,” he said softly, putting his hands behind his head. His voice was quiet, but it seemed to roar over the tension in the air. He was smiling, but it wasn’t pleasant. In fact, the look could be called nothing but dangerous.

Levi’s hands fell to his sides as quickly as he’d raised them and he stepped backwards. Mikasa took a deep breath. “Sorry,” she muttered in Eren’s direction. “Calm down, Eren, this isn’t the time or place.”

“You two are going to hug and make up, like a good brother and sister should,” Eren said with that same dangerous glint in his eyes.

“You’ve got to be shitting me,” Levi muttered, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply through his nose.

The chains around Eren’s wrists rattled ominously as his hands dropped back to his lap. “ _ You know what I can do to you _ .” The tone in his voice was so dark that it seemed to shake everyone to the core.

Armin was the first to crack. “For the love of god, hug it out already. Can’t you see he snapped? Or did you forget how he gets?”

Hanji just barely managed to suffocate her laughter as Levi and Mikasa quickly leaned into each other and hugged. They were both glowering, but they also didn’t want to incur Eren’s wrath.

Armin’s lips twitched. “We’ve only just got back together and Eren’s already ruling with an iron fist.”

Erwin raised his eyebrows, but motioned to Hanji. “Unchain him.”

“No need,” Armin said. “He unlocked himself when Mikasa and Levi didn’t listen right away.”

Eren grinned sheepishly, his demeanor having slid back to normal as soon as his order was followed, and stood from the bed, holding up his unrestrained wrists and a bobby pin. “Sorry, habit.”

Armin giggled. “I thought it was funny when Levi suggested that you guys chain him up, knowing he could do that.”

“I also knew he wouldn’t unless provoked,” Levi crossed his arms. “I wasn’t expecting to be the one to provoke him, though.”

Hanji leaned against the bars of the cell and peered at Eren. “How’d you learn how to do that?”

“Eren is probably the most dangerous person in this base,” Mikasa said quietly. “He would be even if he wasn’t bitten.”

Eren frowned. “I don’t know about that. Dad worked on you, too, Mika, Levi never has had trouble keeping up with us and Armin has part of me.”

“You’re more enhanced than me,” Mikasa replied. “He only worked on me half as much and we haven’t seen any evidence that your blood has changed Armin.”

“Enhanced? What was your father’s name?” Hanji asked, her eyes shining.

“Grisha Jeager,” Eren replied.

“Ooooo,” Hanji sounded excited. “Erwin, he’s not all human. Neither of them are if she’s enhanced, too.”

“You know about my dad?” Eren’s eyes widened.

“I know about what he did before he was cast out from the scientific community,” Hanji nodded. “Didn’t know he carried on after on his own kids.”

Eren nodded. “Mika is right, though. It was mostly on me.”

Armin’s eyes widened. “Eren! I never even thought about it! You’re  _ enhanced _ . Maybe that’s why you didn’t fully turn!”

“Someone explain this to those of us in the dark?” Erwin called.

Hanji turned to him with that glint in her eye that made most people nervous. “Grisha Jeager was pioneering human enhancement through DNA splicing! A toned down version of his research was used to create Titan. If these kids are enhanced by the original research, then they’re… Not patient zero, more like patient -1.”

Erwin hummed thoughtfully as Hanji unlocked the door to the cell, letting Eren out. As Eren took his first step out of the cell, Levi purposely turned away, striding down the hall, away from them.


	26. Year 4, part 3 ....emotions

“Levi!” Eren grinned and tilted his head to the side, looking at Levi in the way that made Levi feel warm inside, the boy having chased Levi down the hall, despite Levi’s determined power walk. Even with his damaged eye and the long scar that cut down his face, Eren was beautiful. But what had happened to them in his absence? Armin’s missing arm was alarming, as was the state of Eren’s face. Levi knew that if Eren rolled up his sleeve there would be a bite on his left arm, as well. How had they gotten so damaged? Levi steeled himself. Now wasn’t the time to be asking questions.

“Captain,” Levi responded.

“What?” Eren blinked.

“I’m your captain now. You’re under my command. You will refer to me as such,” Levi said stiffly. The warmth Eren caused in his heart had no place in the life that Levi had carved out here. That warmth was dangerous. It had nearly broken Levi before and now there were people who relied on him, on his steady hand, on his ability to kill. There were people who looked to him to be a leader. He had to remain cold, remain as he was. He had to keep Eren from worming his way in again. 

“No one’s around,” Eren laughed.

Levi’s eyes flickered to Eren’s face for a second before he looked ahead of himself again. A second was all he could manage. Any more than that and he would crack. “Jaeger, the kid you knew is gone. Maybe… Maybe he’s still waiting for you in that shitty apartment. Maybe he’s dead. I don’t know, but don’t go looking for him in me. You’re my soldier and that’s it. No more, no less.”

Eren’s smile slowly started to fade as he looked at the frozen look on Levi’s face. “You’re serious. You actually mean that.”

“Eren!” Hanji’s voice called. “I want to take a few blood samples from you, if that’s alright!”

Eren turned to her and plastered a smile on his face. “Absolutely, Ms Hanji!”

“Just Hanji is fine,” Hanji looped her arm around Eren’s neck. “Come on, I want to ask you some questions, too. Like I’ve heard you healed from a stab wound in seconds. Why do you still have that scar on your face?”

“Oh, uh, probably because I got it before I was bitten,” Eren said, nervously turning his head, trying to keep Hanji in his sight. “Can you… Walk on the other side? I can’t see out of my left eye mostly and I get a bit… uncomfortable when people are in my blind spot. The titan that bit me was in that area, you know? That’s how it got me, I couldn’t see it coming.”

“Of course,” Hanji immediately walked over to the other side of Eren. Eren smiled gratefully in response and their voices faded down the hallway.

Levi relaxed, slumping against the wall. What had he been thinking, taking Eren under his command? And what did Eren mean, he couldn’t see out of his left eye?  _ What had happened to them _ ?? But  _ they were all alive _ . His family was with him again--no. Mikasa, Eren and Armin was under the protection of the survey corps. He had to stop thinking of them as his family. He wasn’t that ‘Levi’ any more. He wasn’t that man. He couldn’t let them break him again. He  _ couldn’t _ .

His eyes shot around, looking for specks of dirt, anything out of place that he could clean. The lasting effects of his time alone were still ever present. The need to clean all the filth from around him born during those months of isolation. He couldn’t let those three back in and risk breaking him more.

Levi closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he opened them and strode down the hallway. No, he was Levi fucking Ackerman and he didn’t have a weakness like a green eyed brat, his grumpy twin sister and a know it all blonde coconut. Levi was known as humanity’s strongest for his prowess at killing titans and that’s all that mattered. That’s the only ‘Levi’ he needed now.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“So, he’s different than you remember him?” Hanji’s face slid into serious as soon as the door to her lab closed.

“What?” Eren asked, blinking in confusion.

“Levi,” Hanji clarified. “He’s not like what you remember him to be?”

Eren took a sharp breath in and slowly nodded. “He’s different.”

Hanji leaned against one of the tables in the lab. “I thought as much. He went through a lot while you were seperated.”

Eren’s eyes narrowed slightly. “So did we.”

Hanji shook her head. “No, you don’t understand. You see the Levi that is with us now, but that’s not the one we found. We didn’t find him until six months after you were parted. He suffered from hallucinations and nightmares, developed a compulsion to clean everything around him and motivated himself with a single minded goal. He was desperate to find his family, and god help anyone who stood in his way. The Levi that we left in that hallway is the one that was formed from his acceptance that his family was gone. Most people find him to be quite cold hearted, to be honest, and yet, soldiers flock to his side because of his strength. They see him as a killing machine. Humanity’s Strongest, they call him. I think he’s just trying to protect everyone he can.”

Eren’s eyes softened in sadness. “He was alone for that long?”

Hanji nodded. “He was.”

Eren slowly reached up and touched the scar on his face. “This happened after he left us. So did Armin’s arm. He didn’t ask about either one.”

“Maybe he’s just happy you’re alive?” Hanji offered as she prepared a needle to draw Eren’s blood.

“Or maybe he doesn’t care how it happened,” Eren frowned.

Hanji jabbed the needle into Eren’s arm and remained silent for a while as she watched Eren’s blood filling a tube. Finally she responded. “I don’t think that’s true.”

Eren sighed. “I would have agreed with you if I knew that man, but I don’t. The Levi I knew is dead, memorialized in a hollowed out tree by our home. That is someone else entirely and I’m not sure that’s such a bad thing. I understand now what I couldn’t before, what he was trying to tell me all those years ago. Love is a weakness.”

Hanji pulled the needle out of his arm and placed a bandaid over  the spot. “I wonder if he’s really dead, or just hiding. Love isn’t a weakness, Eren. It’s our greatest strength as humans.”

Eren looked at her with blank eyes. “Well, then it’s a good thing I’m not human then, isn’t it?”

Hanji gaped at him. “Is that how you see yourself?” 

“You said it yourself. After all the work my father did on me, I’m not all human. And now that I’ve been bitten, I’m a titan,” Eren looked down at his hands and laughed bitterly. “I’m just a monster through and through.”

“You’re human,” Hanji and Eren turned to see Levi standing in the doorway, his arms crossed. “The fact that you can view yourself as a monster for the things you can’t control makes you human. Come on, brat, I have things to do and someone needs to show you where you’re going to be sleeping.”

Eren slid off the stool he was sitting on and smiled weakly. “Well, some things don’t change it seems.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Until you stop acting like one.”

Eren laughed darkly. “You wouldn’t have thought me a brat when I murdered the cannibals.”

“I was there for that,” Levi said as he turned away and started to walk down the hallway. “Or did you forget.”

“You were there the first time,” Eren replied. “You weren’t there when they took part of Armin and the sight in my left eye. You weren’t there when I fed the leader to zombies. You weren’t there when Armin almost died from infection because of the wounds he received and I was so weak from giving him blood that I couldn’t help. You weren’t there when we raided a supply drop in a heavily infested building and Armin got trapped without Mika and I. You weren’t there when I had to save him and got bit. You weren’t there for every time I shifted. You weren’t there when Armin was suffering from the guilt he still feels. You weren’t there when I swore to your grave that I wouldn’t ever let anything hurt them again, that I wouldn’t ever let anyone use love against me again. You weren’t there, Levi--excuse me, Captain. You weren’t there. You were alone and I’m sorry. I’m sorry we left you alone and you were hurt because of that, but you’re not the only one who had something bad happen to you. We’ve all been hurt in the past two years, and if you want to play the ‘I’ve had it rough’ card, I think Armin takes it from all of us. If you don’t want me, fine. I came to terms with not having you over a year ago, but we’re together again. Our family is finally whole after two years and can you at least appreciate that the rest of us are happy about that?”

Levi had stopped walking when Eren had started talking, eyeing Eren over his shoulder. “They came for you again?”

Eren nodded. “They didn’t like that we killed the original three. They wanted to teach us a lesson.”

“You killed them all for good?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again. “I made sure they’d never hurt our family again.”

Levi looked forward again, silent for several long moments before he motioned forward. “Let’s go, Eren.”

“Wait, You’ve killed people before?” Hanji interjected.

Eren turned dark eyes on her. “I’ll kill anything that threatens my family.”

Levi turned, frowning. “There was a time, when we believed that we were the only people left in the world and then we were taken hostage by other people. People who wanted to kill us and eat us. People who wanted to make us suffer. The first time, Eren kept us safe. I’m sure that if he had to kill again it was for similar reasons. Especially looking at the state of them, it’s clear that Eren was fighting for their lives. Is this going to be a problem, shitty glasses? Or do I have to remind you that he wouldn’t be the only murderer in the ranks?”

Hanji stared at them both for a few moments before she muttered under her breath. “Eyes like the ocean, sometimes crackling like an electrical storm over the sea. Gentle and kind, but terrifying.”

Levi’s face hardened. “Don’t.”

“I know, Levi. I know and you do, too, even if you don’t want to admit it. Maybe you should--” Hanji started but Levi cut her off.

“ _ Don’t _ ,” Levi clenched his fists.

Hanji frowned, but dropped it. “It won’t be a problem, Levi.”

“Eren, come,” Levi said, striding back down the hallway.

Eren turned to look curiously at Hanji one more time before following Levi. She sighed as she watched them go. Easily two of the most frightening people she’d ever met and yet, she could barely see beyond the sadness they both radiated. They were both afraid of the world, of each other, maybe more so than other people were of them.


	27. Year 4, part 4

After dropping Eren off at his room, Levi immediately retreated to the nearest storage room. He stood just in the closed doorway, taking slow deep breaths for a few moments before Eren’s words played through his head again.

_ You weren’t there. _

_ You weren’t there. _

_ You were alone and I’m sorry. _

_ You weren’t there. _

_ Levi--Excuse me, Captain. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ I wouldn’t ever let anyone use love against me again. _

_ I’m sorry. _

_ You weren’t there. _

Levi growled low in his throat and grabbed the nearest box from its perch and threw it against the opposite wall. It exploded open and scattered the contents everywhere and Levi stared at it with hatred in his eyes. He grabbed another box and hurled it as well, with similar results. He felt a darkness settle over his mind then, his body moving on auto pilot… On weakness. On weakness he thought long dead and lost.

The next thing he was truly aware of was arms coming around him from behind, holding him gently, restraining him.  _ Eren _ . He turned in the hold, willing to shatter then and there, to beg for forgiveness, to admit that he wasn’t there, but he was willing to be from now on if only he was given the chance. But it wasn’t fiery teal he encountered there, but warm, sad brown.

“Shh,” Hanji said gently. “It’s alright, I’ve got you.”

Levi took several slow deep breaths, standing in Hanji’s embrace for much longer than he would ever admit. The woman had a tendency to get entirely too enthusiastic for his tastes, but she was the closest thing to a friend he had. She had looked after him when he was a wreck, had calmed him when he was at his lowest, had helped him manage the OCD that had formed from his isolation, had offered him an escape when his nightmares became too much. She probably knew more about the current him than anyone else.

Finally, he pulled away from her. “I’m fine.”

Hanji looked around the stockroom and sighed. “Tell me what’s going on in that head of yours.”

Levi surveyed the damage he had caused as well and turned away from Hanji, starting to clean up the mess. He remained silent for a while before he spoke softly, not even looking away from his task. “They were supposed to be dead.”

Hanji hesitated before kneeling next to Levi and helping him pick up the things he had thrown around. “What does it change for you that they aren’t? That they are here?”

“It… It changes everything,” Levi whispered, crushing a package of emergency rations in his hand.

Hanji bit her lip. “Is it bad?”

Levi glanced at her before returning to his task. “I’m not the same person I was when I was with them. The person I am now is the one who is needed. The Levi they know was weak.”

Hanji stopped and turned to Levi. “I don’t know what you were like when you were with them, but I doubt you were ever weak. I think, people like that wouldn’t have trusted you with their lives if you were. I believe the people you once called family are harder and more formidable than almost anyone else in this base and I wouldn’t want to be on the wrong side of their anger and yet, you barely flinched in the face of most of it.”

“I wouldn’t recommend you try to stand against Eren when he snaps,” Levi muttered. “It seems some things truly never change.”

“The unpredictable rage was apparently a symptom of Grisha Jeager’s research. Part of the reason that it so controversial. He didn’t know how to fix that and it seems it wasn’t a kink he had worked out by the time he started working on his kids,” Hanji said. “I read the notes on his work.”

Levi finished cleaning up the mess he made and stood. “His rage can be managed. Managed and controlled. Just not by him.”

“Do tell,” Hanji stood, too.

Levi looked at her for a few moments before sighing. “Part of the reason I volunteered to watch him is that I used to be able to stop it. Who knows now.”

Hanji nodded slowly. “I think you need to talk to him. To all of them.”

“Don’t, Hanji. I can’t… Afford to let them back in,” Levi said slowly and turned and walked out of the storage room.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Hanji was frustrated. Her best friend was falling apart and the lab was taking way too long to process Eren’s blood samples for her liking. As she wandered the halls, she spotted a blonde head of hair nervously standing down the hall.

“Armin,” She said cheerfully.

Armin looked up at her, startled. “Ah, hello, Hanji.”

She had been tasked with watching Armin and Mikasa when they were waiting for Eren to wake up, but she had by far liked Armin better. His intellect had immediately interested her. “Say, what would you say if I make a prosthetic for you?”

“What?” Armin blinked up at her. “Really?”

“Sure,” Hanji shrugged. “If you want to be one of out soldiers, you’re going to need to learn to use the 3DMGear and that will be a hell of a lot easier with 4 limbs.”

“The wires?” Armin asked.

“Yeah,” Hanji nodded. “You saw the special ops squad using it, huh?”

Armin nodded and followed when Hanji motioned for him to come with her to the lab. Once there, Hanji started to dig out supplies she would need, still muddling over the conversations she had had over the past few hours.

“Love is our greatest strength as humans,” she muttered.

Armin blinked at her for a moment before he shook his head. “I don’t think so. I think love is what makes us human. It’s our defining feature.”

Hanji paused and looked at him. “Huh.”

“Was I not supposed to answer that?” Armin nervously shifted back and forth.

“No, it’s fine,” Hanji replied. “I think you might be right. Tell me, what was Levi like when he was with you?”

Armin looked confused for a second before spoke. “Sarcastic, snarky, rude, often at minimum borderline confrontational… But also dedicated to us and to survival. He was often kind to a fault, even if it didn’t sound like it when you listened to him. I can’t tell you how many times he put himself in harm’s way to protect us and even more than his physical strength and apparent selflessness, he made Eren happy. When they world turned to hell, the two of them carved out their own little bubble of everything that was good and let Mika and I stand in the light of it for as long as we could. I know… That it hurt both of them in the end but I truly believe that they were both  _ happy  _ and how could that have been wrong? They have a chance for that again, but they’re both stubborn… And yet, I believe that if you have a chance to be happy in this piss poor world, you should grab onto it with both hands and never let go.”

Hanji hummed. “He was happy, huh?”

Armin nodded. “I think so.”

Hanji paused what she was doing to look at Armin. “I’ve known Levi for a year and a half and I’m positive I can say that I’ve never known what that looks like.”

“I…” Armin sighed. “It’s been quite some time since I could say I’ve seen it from Eren either.”

“So, we need to get our friends to stop their stubborn ways?” Hanji asked.

“Easier said than done,” Armin replied. “Neither of them are known for listening to reason. And I worry about what will happen to either some should they get torn apart again.”

Hanji looked down at the floor for a few moments. “The way I see it is… Levi is my friend and I want to help him, but he’s your family and no matter what he says, he cares more about the three of you than anyone else. No matter what happens in this time, now that he knows you’re alive, if something should happen to anyone of you in the future, he would implode. That being said… What’s wrong with both him and Eren being happy now?”

Armin took a slow, deep breath. “So we are going to help them get back what they had.”

“Exactly,” Hanji grinned.


	28. Year 4, part 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops.... I mean let's be honest... at this point we all know j cant be trusted with regular weekly posting....

It was getting worse. Levi could see it in his squad’s faces when he gave an order. He could hear it when they thought he was out of ear shot. ‘ _ I thought he had gotten over this? _ ’ ‘ _ It looked like he had, but this is just like the beginning. _ ’ The lack of control disgusted him, but he couldn’t stop the snarl of disgust that crossed his face every time he saw even a speck of dirt. He couldn’t stop the itch to clean as the feelings of desperate loneliness hit in in waves.  _ They _ were so close, but he just… He couldn’t let  _ them _ in again. He couldn’t risk it, even if it pulled him apart.

Levi tried to focus, tried to organize his thoughts as he looked over Eren in front of him, delivering papers from Erwin. He wrinkled his nose at the other’s appearance.

Cutting him off, Levi assessed Eren harshly. “For the love of god, could you at least tuck in your shirt like you want to be a proper soldier?”

Eren looked dumbfounded for a moment before he carefully places the papers on Levi’s desk and slowly began to tuck in his shirt. “Better, Captain?” he asked in that way that Levi knew meant he was being condescending.

Levi narrowed his eyes. “If you really want to know, brat, no. It’s not better. Go wash your hair. It looks like you’ve been rubbing your head in a dustbin.”

Eren’s eyes widened before his face hardened. “If you really want me out of here that badly, you could just tell me. I’m sure there’s someone else who wouldn’t mind making sure I don’t go titan in the base,” Eren said harshly and then he turned and marched out of the room.

Levi sighed and flopped back in his chair.  _ It was all too much _ . After he finished this impressive stack of paperwork, he would go to Erwin and request that Eren be transferred to another squad.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“Eren?” Mikasa asked gently.

Eren’s head jerked up and he hastily looked back down, but Armin and Mikasa had already seen the tears streaming down his face. “It’s… It’s nothing. I’m fine.”

“Don’t lie to us,” Mikasa said, sitting next to him on the stairs Eren had thought were secluded enough that no one would notice him. “What happened.”

Eren sighed. “He really doesn’t want to have anything to do with us, huh?”

“Who? Levi?” Armin asked, settling on the other side of Eren.

Eren nodded. “He just sent me away after pretty much telling me I was dirty and needed to take a freaking shower before presenting him with the papers Commander Erwin wanted me to deliver.”

Mikasa’s eyes narrowed, but Armin shot her a warning glance before speaking. “Was that exactly what he said?”

“Well… No. He said I had to was my hair,” Eren clarified. “About the same, though, don’t you think?”

Mikasa stood quickly a frown on her lips. “I’ll be right back.”

“Mika!” Armin exclaimed, reaching out for her, but she was already gone, storming off down the hallway. Eren just sighed again as she marched away. Armin ran his hand down his face before turning back to Eren. “He’s pretty messed up, Eren. I’m sure you’ve noticed.”

Eren nodded. “But so are we.”

Armin bit his lip, as he tilted his head to the side, a clear signal of ‘kind of’. “Levi is way worse than Mikasa and I. You might give him a run for his money, though.”

Eren let out a harsh bark of a laugh. “Thanks for the vote of confidence.”

Armin also laughed slightly. “That’s not what I meant. I mean, out of any of us, you probably have the highest likelihood of understanding where he is mentally. I’ve been talking to Hanji a lot and apparently she diagnosed Levi with pretty severe OCD when they found him. It had to have manifested when he was alone, you know? It’s not something he can totally control, Eren and Hanji thinks that it’s triggered by trauma. I think… In Levi’s mind we are a bit of a trauma for him, being not dead and all that. Basically, we set his world off kilter by still existing. He was apparently managing before we appeared...”

Eren sighed. “So I shouldn’t take offense. I should try to be understanding.”

Armin nodded. “Exactly. But right now I think I might have to stop Mikasa before one of them kills the other.”

Eren stood. “I’ll go with you.”

Armin shook his head. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. I think… Maybe you should sit this one out.”

Eren sat down heavily. “I’ll be here then.”

Armin nodded and took off at a jog down the hallway. As he rounded the corner before Levi’s office he could hear yelling from down the hall.

“How  _ dare _ you!” Mikasa’s voice raged and Armin winced as he heard a crash. “Can’t you see how ruined he already is?? Why do you insist on making it worse? Why, when we’ve finally gotten you back, do you  _ insist on making everything terrible _ ?? Could you for just a minute, get off your goddamn high horse and look at someone other than yourself?”

“I recommend you return to your quarters, cadet,” Levi’s voice came steady and calm, though there was a weakly veiled uncurrent of strain in it.

In his mind’s eye Armin could already see Mikasa vibrating with rage as she responded to Levi. “Of all the selfish, useless people we could have encountered, why did one of them have to be you? Tell me why? You  _ heartless bastard _ .”

Armin sped up his step, nervousness flooding through his veins. Before, he wouldn’t have been worried. Before, he knew that no matter what Mikasa said to him, Levi would stand strong. The situation itself felt oddly familiar, like the day that Levi had turned down Eren’s love confession and left the room, Mikasa following in a rage. Then, Armin had elected to stay behind with Eren and comfort his friend, but after talking to Hanji, he knew that Levi was teetering on an edge, dangerously close to falling over it. That the man he once called a brother--would still call him one if Levi would only allow him--might not even stand up for himself, but shatter instead.

But just as Armin made it to the doorway, he saw Levi stand from his chair, the contents of his desk already strewn around the room, most likely a product of Mikasa’s anger, and the man literally dove across his desk to tackle Mikasa to the floor. He let out a growl more akin to a wounded animal than a human as he took a firm hold of Mikasa’s collar and threw a punch.

“Can you see, you dumb shit? Can’t you see that  _ I can’t _ . I can’t let you all wiggle back in with all of your stupid trust and warmth and… and with your--your promise of  _ family _ . I’ve already lost you once and it damn near killed me. Can’t you see that I’m  _ needed _ here? Can’t you see the lives that I’ve been entrusted with? The people I have to protect? I  _ can not afford to be broken again _ . The weakness that you all sow inside me can not be allowed here,” Levi hit Mikasa over and over but Armin could see that the blows held no force. Mikasa lay still underneath him, taking the hits like they didn’t affect her at all. “ _ Can’t you see I love him more than I can take _ ?”

Mikasa slowly reached up and cupped Levi’s face in her hands, stroking his cheeks gently, wiping away tears that Levi didn’t even seem to know he was shedding. The motion itself appeared to shock him into stillness. She looked up at him, sadness in her eyes as she continued the soothing motion. “There you are, my brother,” she said softly. “I thought we might have truly lost you.”

Levi sat back, shock written all over his features. “What?”

Armin stepped into the room, his presence having not been noticed until now. “The anger that blazes hottest often burns out the fastest as well. Provocation can also be searching, not blind rage.”

They both turned to him and Mikasa blinked at him. “Armin, where’s Eren?”

“He’s where you left him. I convinced him that maybe he shouldn’t interceed here,” Armin said calmly. “I was… Also worried that you were lost to us, Levi, but without you we aren’t whole, don’t you see? You can’t tell me you don’t feel the same thing.”

Levi slowly sunk backwards onto the floor, removing himself from his position on Mikasa completely. “You were baiting me like you used to. So we’d fight like children.”

“I was angry,” Mikasa objected. “At least I was at first. And then I thought… Maybe you were just like Eren. Lost and confused and just doing your best to survive because what else could you do? We weren’t enough to calm him, Levi. Only you had that power.”

Levi pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and took a slow deep breath. “You can report me for assaulting you, Mikasa.”

“You barely touched me,” Mikasa said, standing. “It was a bit pathetic, actually.”

Levi glared up at her. “I can show you a bit pathetic, Mikasa.”

Mikasa smirked as she held out her hand and pulled Levi to his feet. “I don’t think that this is weakness. I think that perhaps, we might be able to offer you a reason to stand tall. Plus, we’ve always worked well together.”

Levi sighed. “I…”

Armin stepped forward and placed his hand on Levi’s shoulder. “We missed you, too.”

Levi stared at him for a few moments before his eyes narrowed into a glare. “Stop that.”

Armin’s face split into a smile. “Yes, Sir, Captain.”

Levi shook his head before sighing again. “I understand how you feel. I think that maybe you aren’t wrong, but I don’t know if I can bear to let Eren back into my heart. You must understand.”

“Just promise me you’ll give it thought,” Mikasa said.

Levi hesitated before he nodded. “I’ll think about it.”


	29. Year 4, part 6

Eren didn’t know what had happened between Levi, Armin and Mikasa, but it seemed like some of the tension between them had melted away, leaving behind familiar behaviors of the past. He was proud of them from moving past the anger and fighting that had come with the rediscovery of Levi, but he felt like he was on the outside of it all.

Levi hadn’t snapped at him again, but that might have to do with the fact that Eren was taking care to keep his appearance as immaculate as possible to avoid making Levi upset. And yet, that familiarity that Levi seemed to have willing extended back to Armin and Mikasa wasn’t there for Eren. Though Levi seemed to be trying to reign in his cold behavior, he spoke with Eren in a strictly professional capacity.

With a sigh, Eren walked out of Levi’s office, feeling oddly cold at the attitude that Levi had directed towards him. “Eren?” A voice called to him.

Slowly Eren lifted his head to see Sasha and Connie standing there, gaping at him. “Oh, no,” Eren whispered, taking a stumbling step backwards.

“It’s really you!” Sasha bounded forward, throwing her arms around Eren in a tight hug. “We were so worried! After you turned and fought off all those zombies, you guys disappeared! We tried to find you, but we were afraid that you had lost the fight of something!”

Eren stared down at the brunette like she was crazy. “You’re… Happy to see me?”

“Of course we are! You and Armin and Mikasa were part of the 104th. There might be some crazy shit going on with you, but you’re still out friends,” Connie said.

“Is all of the 104th here?” Eren asked.

Sasha pulled back and nodded. “We were picked up by the Survey Corps a week or so after the warehouse was taken. We had been travelling around before that, trying to find you guys and a new place to call home and this seemed like a good a place as any.”

Eren let out a slow breath of relief. “I’m so glad you are safe. I was worried about you.”

“Why did you leave us?” Connie asked.

“We were afraid. You found out my secret in the worst way possible, so we ran,” Eren muttered.

“Well, damn, Eren. It’s not like we woulda killed you,” Sasha frowned.

“Are Armin and Mikasa here, too?” Connie asked.

“Yeah, they’re around,” Eren nodded.

“By the way,” Sasha leaned in with wide eyes. “So, I haven’t had a chance to talk to him or anything because we are in different squads and he’s a captain so lowly soldiers like us don’t get to interact with the higher ups all that much, but there’s a guy here named Levi. He’s short, too, and I know that Mikasa always called your Levi a chibi. Is it possible…?”

Eren snorted softly. “I wouldn’t say that so loud, we’re outside his office.”

Sasha stood straight. “Is it him??!”

Eren opened his mouth and then closed it. How did he answer that. It was Levi, but it wasn’t  _ his _ Levi. Not anymore. It wasn’t the Levi he knew. The Levi who loved him.

“What’s all this,” Levi’s voice came from behind him and Eren tensed slightly.

“Oooh,” Sasha said softly.

Eren turned to Levi, his back ramrod straight. “Nothing, Sir!”

“You know these brats?” Levi asked.

“We spent some time with the 104th during the last year,” Eren confirmed. “We were separated due to unfortunate circumstances.”

“They know about your shifts?” Levi asked, crossing his arms.

“It’s really cool!” Sasha exploded. “Eren turned into a titan and ripped apart the horde that trapped us! He didn’t even look at us once.”

“You seriously aren’t scared of me?” Eren blinked at her.

“Why would we be? You’re Eren,” Sasha shrugged.

Levi hesitated for a moment before he strode forward. “We should inform Erwin that there are others that are aware of your power.”

“Wait! Are you Eren’s Levi?” Sasha asked.

Levi froze and slowly turned to look at her. “What would you know about it?”

“They’re my friends,” Eren said softly, stepping between Levi and Sasha. “They… They saw me when I was at my lowest.”

Levi studied Eren’s face for a few moments before he nodded. “I am the person you heard about.”

“Are you?” Eren whispered, barely audible.

Levi’s eyes shot to him. “I was. I’m going to Erwin’s office, Eren, I believe you have errands to run and I’m sure you two have something that you’re supposed to be doing.”

As Levi strode away, Eren sighed softly. “You were…”

Sasha grabbed Eren’s hand. “I don’t really get what just happened, but Connie and I were on the way to the mess hall to meet up with the rest of the 104th and I know they’d love to see you.”

Eren turned to her and plastered a smile on his face, only a little bit fake. “That sounds great, but I do have to drop these papers off at Hanji’s lab so I’ll meet you there?”

“Okay!” Sasha beamed.

Dropping the papers at Hanji’s, Eren found Armin there. “I found the 104th.”

“What?” Armin’s eyes widened.

“They… Were happy to see me,” Eren bit his lip. “At least Sasha and Connie were. They want us to go to the mess hall and meet up with the rest of them.”

Armin smiled. “I suppose, maybe we were too quick to judgement?”

“It seems that way,” Eren replied. “Where is Mikasa?”

“She’s meeting me here soon, so we can all head over together,” Armin nodded.

Once Mikasa arrived, the three of them headed to the mess hall to meet up with the 104th. Despite Sasha and Connie’s attitudes, they were all surprised to see the 104th so excited to see them. Christa, especially, stood and embraced them all in turn.

“So, Sasha tol us you found your fourth,” Ymir said off handedly.

“You could say that,” Eren muttered.

“Did you or didn’t you?” Jean asked.

“We’ve all changed,” Armin interjected. “It’s not so simple as falling back into old patterns.”

“Why not?” Christa asked softly.

“What?” Armin blinked at her.

“Why can’t you fall back into old patterns? Life in this world is so… Fleeting. If any one of us has an opportunity to grasp happiness, I think we should hold onto it with both hands as tight as we can,” Christa said, studying her food. “I know that you guys went through a lot of stuff, but if happiness is there, then you should hold onto it and never let go until it’s ripped from your cold, dead hands by titans.”

“Damn, Christa, that was kinda dark,” Connie said, breaking the silence that had fallen after Christa’s words.

Christa turned red but didn’t back down. “Am I wrong, though?”

“No,” Eren said quietly. “You’re not wrong, but I can’t change the Captain’s mind if he’s unwilling to listen to me. Plus, having you all here with me is enough. I don’t need that man to make me whole when I have all of you. You are all important to me.”

“Well then don’t run away next time!” Jean said, turning away to hide a blush at Eren’s words.

“We were scared, okay?” Eren shot back. “I had just shifted in front of you and more than you killing me, I was afraid that you wouldn’t… Wouldn’t look at me the same way.”

“Oh, Eren,” Christa said gently, patting his shoulder. “You’re our friend. We don’t really understand what happened or how you turned and came back, but we will stand with you no matter what.”

“Thank you,” Eren smiled weakly, but it was totally real. “I don’t know what the future will hold for us all, but I will do everything in my power to keep you all safe.”

“And we will fight for you,” Christa agreed. “We will all be each other’s strength and maybe, that will be enough.”


	30. Year 4, part 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, sorry, it's tuesday. The holidays threw me off. Merry Christmas, though! And Happy Holidays :3

The 3DMGear wasn’t easy to master, but Eren, Armin and Mikasa all figured it out eventually. Even Armin, with his disadvantage managed to pilot the gear with the help of a high tech prosthetic that Hanji had made for him. Once Levi and Hanji were satisfied with their ability, they were taken to the streets to experiment with Eren’s titan power.

Eren stood next to Levi on top of a building, looking over an impressive horde. “So?” Levi asked. “Are you going to turn?”

Eren looked down at the horde, thinking. While there was a telltale pain radiating from his core, there was also an impressive calm that settled over him. Something that he hadn’t felt since they had lost Levi all those years ago, like a gentle warmth soothing the monsters inside him. 

“No,” Eren whispered.

“Why not?” Hanji asked. “I thought you couldn’t handle that many titans?”

Eren bit his lip and shook his head. “I couldn’t.”

Armin stepped forward and glanced at Levi. “Perhaps the same phenomena that we witnessed with Eren’s snaps of anger holds true here as well?”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Me?”

Armin nodded. “It’s very possible. What do you think, Eren?”

Eren nodded back. “I feel calmer than I have in years. I can’t explain why, but I’m not going to turn from this.”

“Maybe if we put you on the street?” Hanji suggested. “This is interesting. If Levi is close to you, will you not turn at all? How far away does he have to be for you to turn like you did before? Can he turn you back? What are the rules? I want to find out!”

“Oi, calm down, Eren isn’t a toy for you to play with,” Levi growled. “Putting him on the street is dangerous.”

“It’s alright,” Eren replied. “We can try.”

Hanji eyed Levi for a moment before turning to Eren. “We’ll pull you out if you don’t turn, but I think it’s worth it to find out the answers to these questions.”

Eren nodded and leapt off of the roof, using the gear to land softly on the ground a few yards from the horde. He stood there, blinking at the titans, the call stronger now, but still manageable. He looked up at the others on the roof still, his eyes landing on Levi and shook his head.

“Can you induce it?” Hanji called.

Eren furrowed his brow, but searched inside himself. If he concentrated, he could find the pull to turn in his mind like a physical string. If he tugged on that string... 

“He’s turning,” Armin said softly, placing a hand on Levi’s arm when the older man jolted forward as Eren let loose an agonizing scream from the street.

“Is this how it is every time?” Hanji asked.

Mikasa nodded. “He won’t tell us what it feels like, but every time it’s clear that he’s suffering. For titan to human seems easier, but something about this transformation hurts him.”

Hanji hummed thoughtfully. “I wonder why that is?”

“He’s fully turned now,” Armin pointed with his prosthetic hand. “You can see the way his skin looks paler and ind of sickly. And there he goes.”

They watched as Eren tore forward,  ripping into the horde. “There’s too many for him,” Mikasa spoke, her voice laced with panic. “They’ll kill him. Look, he’s already surrounded. We should have gone with him.”

“Alright, let’s back him up,” Levi said and motioned to his squad to take out the horde. They started on the other side and met Eren in the middle. He was bleeding heavily from several long scratches his arms and face and there was a bite mark on his neck also pouring blood, but he seemed otherwise unharmed as he stood still, unseeing yellow eyes focused on the special ops squad.

“Eren!” Mikasa and Armin met them on ground level and his head swivelled to them and he let out a series of puppy-like whines before turning back to Levi.

“We know,” Armin said softly. “It’s alright, we understand, Eren.”

Zombie Eren whined again and shuffled forward, towards Levi. His squad immediately moved to protect him, but Levi motioned for them to stand down. When Zombie Eren reached him Levi reached up and placed his hand gently on Eren’s cheek. “You in there, brat?”

Eren’s eyes flickered back to green as his body steamed, color returning to his skin and the wounds healing before everyone’s eyes. “Yeah, I’m here,” Eren replied. “I’m always here.”

Levi’s lips quirked up into a smile for a few seconds before he caught Eren as he collapsed. “What’s wrong?”

“So tired,” Eren muttered.

“Is this normal?” Hanji asked.

Armin nodded. “Yes, Eren’s always exhausted after a transformation.”

“I bet that has something to do with the healing,” Hanji mused. “Though it is interesting that he doesn’t heal until he transforms.”

“It’s always been like that,” Mikasa offered.

“We’ve learned a lot today as it is,” Hanji said. “But I am interested to know if he can still transform once he is exhausted like this.”

“But--” Mikasa started, but Eren cut her off.

“It’s alright,” Eren interjected, forcing himself to stand on his own two feet. “Let’s find another horde and see how it goes.”

Levi made a small motion to his squad and then took off in pairs. Within ten minutes, they had returned. “There is another sizeable horde six blocks to the west,” Gunther reported.

The group took off, heading towards the horde. Once there, Eren again separated from the group and stood there, waiting for the painful pull towards transformation. It took longer than before. In fact, he didn’t turn until the titans turned their attention to him. As the ran towards him, he could hear Mikasa’s shout of panic and he waved it off.

“Not yet!” He yelled to the people on the roof. “I can do it!”

The first zombie reached him and Eren swung the sword attached to his gear down on it, cutting into its neck. The blade didn’t make it all the way through, with how tired he was, Eren’s limbs felt like molasses but he didn’t let up and by the third zombie, he let himself fall to his knees, the call to turn strong enough now that he could transform. He hoped that Hanji would be satisfied with this amount of data for today. He was just so tired…

 

``~`**`~``

 

Eren woke up sometime later, blinking up at the ceiling of his room in the Survey Corps headquarters.

“Finally awake?” A familiar voice called to him.

“Levi,” Eren groaned out, his body feeling like lead. “What happened?”

“After you transformed we took out the horde, but you were more feral than the first time. Wouldn’t let anyone but Mikasa, Armin or me close to you. You snapped at Eld,” Levi replied calmly and snorted when Eren looked alarmed. “Don’t worry, brat, you didn’t bite anyone. Don’t even know what that would do, to be honest. And then when we got you back, you wouldn’t wake up. It’s been two days.”

“Two days?” Eren tried to push himself up into a sitting position, but his limbs wouldn’t cooperate.

Levi nodded. “We have to talk, Eren.”

Eren blinked at him. “About what, Captain?”

“You have to promise me,  _ never _ to do that again,” Levi said softly.

“What?” The confusion was written all over Eren’s face. “I was just doing what Hanji wanted…”

“Not that,” Levi sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose for a moment while he collected his thoughts before continuing. “You didn’t turn right away the second time. By the time you finally did, the entire horde was on you. If we hadn’t stepped in the minute you collapsed, they would have ripped you apart before you could fight them off. You have a special power, Eren, but you’re still mortal. Human and mortal. Don’t go looking for death because someone wants to see what would happen. Even if it’s Hanji or Erwin, even if it’s Mikasa or Armin… Even if it’s me.”

Eren blinked at Levi for a few moments before taking a long, deep breath. “Have you been here for two days, Captain? Watching over me?”

Levi narrowed his eyes. “Just promise me that, brat.”

Eren smiled slightly. “Tell me why you’re asking.”

Levi stood so quickly that he had to turn to catch the chair he had been sitting in before it clattered to the floor. “Fine, don’t promise me anything. I’ll go tell the commander you’re awake.”

As Levi strode to the door, Eren’s soft voice made him pause. “I promise,” Eren whispered. Levi glanced over his shoulder at Eren and nodded before he left. 


	31. Year 4, part 8

Experiments continued. Eren learned to control the shifts more than before. He learned to induce them even when Levi was near him, and to control them a bit more when he wasn’t. As time passed, Eren noticed Levi watching him more and more. It felt oddly reminiscent, of a time before apocalypse and zombies, of a time when they had been innocent high school students, of a time when Eren had noticed the scary thug of the school watching him across hallways and lunch rooms. When he had pushed aside his friend’s warnings to stay away from that guy and had smiled and cheerfully pushed his way into Levi’s life. Of a time when Eren thought that maybe, just maybe Levi could be part of his world, despite the secrets he held.

Eren wondered, if maybe all he had to do now was stride across the rooftop and grin down at the raven, ask him if he was enjoying staring at him like he had the first time. The first time, Levi had stared at him, shock in his eyes but calm words from his tongue. Would it be so easy this time? This time, Levi already knew all of Eren’s secrets. He had accepted them long ago without judgement. This time, they already knew that Levi held the power to calm the monster that lived inside of Eren. This time, they already knew how the other tasted, how it felt to be pressed closer together than they had through possible, sharing kisses and touches... 

This time, they knew what it felt like to lose the other.

This time they both knew what it felt like to have their souls broken by the other.

This time… This time shared some hallmarks of the past, but they were both different men than they had been before. The teenage innocence was long gone. Everything was different now.

Eren met Levi’s eyes across the roof they had been standing on and then turned away, focusing on what Hanji was talking about instead. There was no point in clinging to the past. Levi had made it clear that they were simply captain and soldier, hadn’t he? It was only more obvious, with the way he had let Armin and Mikasa back into his heart, but still closed the door to Eren. He still didn’t know how that had happened, but the three of them behaved like it was old times, teasing each other, behaving like they hadn’t been separated for years. It was more subtle than it had been, but Eren could clear see it in the way Mikasa’s eyes glittered when they spoke back and forth. He supposed, it was good that Mikasa and Armin had found their lost brother again, even if it was a bit cold standing on the outside of it all.

Eren’s thoughts were broken by a desperate cry. “Captain!”

All eyes turned to the special ops squad, who had just landed on the roof, sprinting towards Levi. They had been patrolling the area to keep it mostly titan free for the experiments, and to see them here meant that something big was happening. Eren followed Hanji over to the group.

“They’re sprinting like they’re alerted to something, but there’s nothing there. They’re heading towards headquarters,” Petra was speaking quickly.

Levi gave a quick, sharp nod before he turned to Hanji. “We have to cut them off. Hanji, experiments need to be halted while we deal with the threat.”

“Agreed. My squad will return to headquarters to warn Erwin and get reinforcements, you delay the titans as much as possible until we can get back,” Hanji nodded in response and then took off with her squad, heading towards their base.

“Let’s go,” Levi said, striding towards the edge of the roof. “Nothing unnecessary, we’re just going to distract the titans until there’s enough soldiers to take them all out with minimal casualties.”

As they took off towards where the horde was, Eren called to Levi. “Should I turn?”

Levi glanced back at him before landing on a nearby roof. “No, not now. Just use your gear.”

Eren nodded and they walked to the side of the building. The entire squad looked down on the horde that was running down the block. “I’ve never seen them act like this before,” Petra said softly.

“I have,” Eren whispered. “More than once. I don’t know why it happens though.”

“Let’s get to work,” Levi said. The squad dove off of the roof, cutting into nearby titans with before retreating back to the roof tops. After several passes, Levi shook his head. “This isn’t working and we’re running out of gas.”

“We need to distract them,” Eren landed smoothly next to Levi. “They’re getting close to headquarters.”

Levi glanced at him and opened his mouth to respond when a scream cut through the air. They both lurched forward to the edge of the roof just in time to see Gunther being swallowed into the horde. Eren slapped his hand over his mouth as Levi’s eyes widened. Eld dove down over the spot, trying to cut away at the titans, to get at Gunther, only to be grabbed and dragged down, too.

Levi took another step forward, but Eren reached out and grabbed his arm. “Their movements are a lot more precise,” Eren sounded terrified. “You don’t stand a chance. Look at them, it’s like they’re… Moving like people.”

“I have to--” Levi started, but was cut off by another scream from the other side, and they turned just in time to see Petra and Oluo being pulled down.

Eren took Levi by both his shoulders. “You have to get back to headquarters. You have to tell them that they’re moving differently. That they seem to have a higher level of consciousness. You have to warn everyone.”

Levi gaped at him for a few moments before he shook his head. “There’s not enough gas to get there without the resupply Hanji should be bringing back. Plus, the titans are still heading towards base.”

“I know,” Eren replied, already unstrapping his gear. “You have you go. Take my gas. I’ll buy you time.”

“Eren--” Levi started but Eren cut him off.

“Let me save you this time, Levi,” Eren looked into Levi’s eyes. “There’s no time. You have to go.”

As Eren turned to the fire escape, Levi grabbed his wrist. “You better come back. I won’t lose you again. I  _ can’t _ lose you again. I love you too much, do you understand me, brat? You have to come back, it’s an order.”

Eren paused and looked over his shoulder at Levi before he grinned. “Yes, Sir.”

Levi pulled Eren towards him and tugged Eren down to crush his lips in a hard kiss before pulling back and bending to pick up the gas that Eren had abandoned. “I’ll see you back at headquarters. Promise.”

“I’ll see you there. I promise,” Eren confirmed before he jumped down the fire escape to the ground, transforming once he was there. Levi took off, the sound of zombie Eren growling, calling all the other titans to him ringing in his ears as he ran. Levi blinked several times, tears welling in his eyes, obscuring his vision enough that he couldn’t land correctly, barrelling head first into Erwin, who was about to take off with a small army to backup the special ops squad.

“Levi?” Erwin sounded shocked.

“My team is dead,” Levi gasped out. “The titans are smarter than before. Eren… Eren bought me time to warn you. They’re acting too precisely to be normal. They got my whole squad. Eren is still back there.”

“Alright,” Erwin said, almost gently. “We’ll get him. Resupply and meet us back there.”

Levi nodded and turned shakily. His mide warred with itself as he went to get more gas.

Eren had promised to come back. He would keep his word. He  _ had _ to keep his word.

There were too many titans there for Eren to handle alone. There was no way he would make it out alive, and both Eren and Levi had known that before they had parted.

But he had promised. He would come back.

There was no way he could survive that horde. They had known that Eren was making the ultimate sacrifice when Eren had given Levi his gas.

_ But he had promised. _


	32. Year 4, part 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short, but the next chapter will be a long one. >.<

When Levi got back to where the horde had been, he found the Survey Corp cleaning up stragglers. He landed next to Erwin and Hanji, supervising from a roof. He had taken time to calm himself considerably before returning, but there was no way they should have made this much progress.

“Where are they all?” Levi asked.

Erwin shook his head. “There was barely any titans here by the time we arrived.”

“What?” Levi’s head whipped to him. “There were… It had to be hundreds when I left.”

“Your boy must have done something huge,” Hanji said softly.

“Where is he?” Levi looked around, trying to find Eren.

Erwin turned to his, his mouth opened just slightly, the sad look in his eyes telling Levi everything he needed to know before the blonde even spoke. “Levi--”

Levi cut him off before the words could make it out of Erwin’s mouth, trying to cement his heart in ice before it could break any more than it already had been. The confession had been a mistake, but he had needed Eren to know, he had needed Eren to  _ try _ to make it home, selfishly. “Where’s the body.”

“There is no body,” Hanji said. She stepped forward and opened her arms, offering a hug, but Levi turned away.

“What do you mean there is no body?” Levi barked, refusing to look at either of them, refusing to let them see how he was shattering in his eyes.

Before anyone could say anything more, one of Hanji’s subordinates, Mobilt landed on the roof. “We found him,” he said. “Well… kind of.”

“Where?” Hanji immediately asked and Levi whipped around to face them.  _ Him. _ Eren?

Mobilt was standing there, looking almost terrified as he held out something wrapped in cloth, his eyes unable to land on Levi. “There’s nothing but… this.”

Hanji reached out slowly and took the cloth wrapped bundle, slowly unveiling it before her hand flew to her mouth to muffle the gasp that wrenched itself from her lips. Levi strode forward to look, before he could stop himself.

Inside, there was an arm, someone’s left arm… There was a bite wound there, old and scarred. Titans didn’t keep wounds like people did and the only one who would have such a vicious looking bite healed over was…

Someone was screaming. Animalistic, tortured screeches of anguish and it took Levi several moments to realize it was him. There were arms around him, dragging him back and away from the arm, a large hand coming up to cover his eyes, a soft voice in his ear that he couldn’t understand over his own screams.

After a while, his voice gave out and Levi could register Erwin’s voice talking to him. “I know, Levi, I know… But I need you to stand strong right now. We are soldiers and you are a captain and you need to pretend for me right now. I'm so,  _ so _ sorry, but you need to be strong. Can You do that for me? Pretend for me? Please, Levi, there will be time to mourn later. I know, you’re suffering, but we have to finish up here and move back to base. Levi... Levi, listen to me, come on.”

Levi took several slow, deep breaths. He knew that Erwin was right. He knew he had an image to maintain, that soldiers looked to him for his strength, that if he broke down that others would follow. He looked around, realizing that somehow Erwin had carried him blocks away, away from prying eyes. He slowly pulled himself away from the grip that held him so securely and stood on his own two feet.

“I’m fine,” he said slowly.

“That’s a good soldier,” Erwin replied, but Levi could see how it was ripping at him to make Levi do this.

Levi took several more deep breaths before he spoke again. “Just because he lost an arm doesn’t mean he’s dead. I shouldn’t rush to conclusions. His healing factor will correct it, anyway. We have to find him still.”

“Levi--” Erwin started, but he stopped when he saw the look in Levi’s eyes. The determination, barely veiling suffering. He nodded. “We’ll find him.”

When they got back to the others, Mikasa and Armin were waiting with Hanji. Levi tensed, afraid of what they would stay to him, but as soon as they saw him, Mikasa raced forward and flew into his arms, clutching to him like he was the only lifeline in the universe. “Eren can heal it, Levi,” she whispered. “We just have to find him and maybe he’s already turned back and all fixed up and looking for us. We just have to find him.”

Levi nodded, letting her cling to him. “I know. But he’s in more danger now than ever. If Eren’s shifted back, he’s exhausted and he doesn’t have any gear to get back to headquarters. He gave me his gas in so I could warn everyone. We don’t have time to stand here and wallow.”

Mikasa nodded and stepped back. “The 104th is already searching for him. Armin and I will join the efforts.”

Levi nodded and stood next to Hanji. “There is still hope.”

Hanji looked at him with sad eyes, but nodded. “I know, Levi.”

Levi shook his head. “He promised me that he’d come back. I told him I still loved him. He has to come back.”

“Oh, Levi,” Hanji said softly.

“He will keep his promise,” Levi clenched his teeth, refusing to let the thought that Eren was dead flit through his mind. Suddenly he stiffened. “I have to return to base.”

“Why?” Hanji asked.

“He promised to meet me back at base, not here. I have to go,” Levi took off before anyone could respond.

Levi searched for any sign of Eren by headquarters. There was nothing. He used up all of his gas and then ran the streets of foot, searching. Nothing. No Eren.

Standing in front of the headquarters, Levi clenched his fists. “Come on, brat… Where are you. Don’t do this to me…”


	33. Year 4, part 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, just in case it's unclear... any blocks of text that are in italics in this chapter are zombie Eren's perspective. I just felt like it was needed to show... Exactly where he's at right now.

_ Hot. Too many bodies around him. Fight. Fight. Pain. Excruciating pain. FIGHT. Leaving. Bad is leaving. Safe. Did good. He’ll be proud. Kept the promise. Hurts. Everything hurts. Rest. Need to rest. Base! Must go to base. Why? Why? Why? Must go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Rest. Too much pain. Too slow. Arm’s not working anymore. ...Arm is gone? Arm is gone. Hurts. Hurts very badly. Legs hurt. The Bad Ones bit them. Tried to take them off like the arm. Hurts too much, must Rest. Rest and then go. Armin, Mikasa. Levi. Waiting, must go. Rest. Why go? Rest. Why… Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. Levi. LEVI. _

 

``~`**`~``

 

_ Lost. Lost. Where is base? Where is home? Where are they? Names… Mik… Arm… Levi... Hard to think. The Good Ones. More fighting. More Bad Ones. Get away, must survive for them. Must get to them. Lost. Lost. Lost. Lost. Them. Levi. Them. Them. Levi. Them. Promised… Promised… Something. Promised The Good One something. Must keep promise. Lost… Alone… Lost… Must go. _

 

``~`**`~``

 

“It’s been two weeks,” Armin whispered. He and Mikasa were standing outside of Levi’s quarters. For a week after Eren had gone missing, Levi had spent most of his time standing at the gates of the headquarters, looking for Eren. After that week, he had closed himself in his quarters after telling Erwin he was taking leave for personal reasons with no room for argument. No one had seen him since.

Mikasa was leaning against the wall, bags showing dark under her eyes. “I know how long it’s been, Armin.”

“I know,” Armin winced slightly. Mikasa had only been so much better off than Levi. Armin could understand, Eren was her twin. He was suffering, too, but he felt the need to be the strength for his family. He had to hold it together for them. “But at least you and I have had each other. Levi’s been alone again and we have to go in there and help him. We can’t leave him alone again. Eren would never forgive us.”

Mikasa nodded. “I know.”

 

``~`**`~``

 

_ Home? Home! Confusing smells. Too much sound! Too many bodies! Last time there was so many bodies Arm was Gone. So much pain! Lash out! Find The Good Ones! Where are The Good Ones??? Keeping captive???? DANGER???? Protect! Protect! Find The Good Ones! Promised!!!! PROMISED! FIGHT! _

 

``~`**`~``

 

As they went to knock on the door, Mobilt can tearing around the corner of the hallway and screeched to a stop in front of them. “What are you two doing here? Nevermind that, it’s good, I don’t have to find you now. I need you, all three of you. Now,” he stuttered over himself as he banged on Levi’s door. “Captain, Sir! We need you at the front gates, now!”

There was silence on the other side of the door. “What’s going on?” Armin asked.

“Eren’s shown up,” Mobilt gasped out. “But there’s something wrong. We can’t get close.”

“What?” Mikasa asked and she turned to run down the hallway. Armin hesitated for a few seconds before he sprinted after her.

When they arrived, Hanji was dangling off of a nearby building, and there was zombie Eren below her, snarling and snapping up at her. He was indeed missing his left arm and otherwise was covered in blood, but who could tell if it was his or not.

“What’s going on?” Armin asked as he skidded to a stop.

“We don’t know,” Christa whispered. She had been on guard duty when Eren had turned up and had immediately called for Hanji to let Eren in the gates, but things hadn’t gone like they had hoped. “It’s like he doesn’t recognize us.”

“Eren!” Mikasa screamed out, and zombie Eren froze. His head swivelled towards the source of the sound and he stood still, blinking.

“Let us down there,” Armin turned to Erwin who had been watching the whole thing with an unreadable expression.

“No,” Erwin replied after a moment. “We don’t know what he will do. He bit Ymir.”

“He did what?” Mikasa’s eyes widened.

“She’s fine,” Christa said quietly. “Apparently his bite doesn’t work the same as a titan’s.”

From behind them, the sound of 3DMGear starting up. As they turned to look, Levi whizzed past them, landing a few yards away from Eren. He looked rougher than Armin had expected. Like he hadn’t slept in weeks, his hair dishevelled and greasy, his skin even paler than usual, his already smaller frame obviously suffering from lack of proper nutrition, his clothes obviously not in their usual, perfectly pressed condition, but when he spoke, his voice was clear and strong.

“Oi, brat, you’re late,” Levi said.

 

``~`**`~``

 

_ The Good One? The Good one? L……………………… The Best One. Mine. Protect. Look after me. Look after him. Keep safe. Safe. Safe. Safe. Safe. Safe. Home. Home.  _ **_Home_ ** _. _

 

``~`**`~``

 

Eren turned to him and then stumbled forward, towards him, his growl from before now a high pitched whine.

“Stop,” Levi commanded and Eren stopped moving. After sending a dark look up at the soldiers still on the wall that had readied their weapons, Levi met him the rest of the way. “Didn’t want those assholes to think you were going to attack me.”

Zombie Eren whined again and leaned forward, towards Levi.

Levi didn’t hesitate, he reached out and cupped Eren’s cheek. “You in there, brat?”

Everyone waited with baited breath, but nothing happened. Zombie Eren just blinked his unseeing eyes and nuzzled into Levi’s hand like a puppy. Levi furrowed his brow.

“Eren?” Levi asked. Zombie Eren just whined and nuzzled.

“Eren, shift back,” Levi demanded.

Again, nothing. Hanji landed a few feet away from them and zombie Eren immediately snarled and turned to her. Levi reached out and took firm hold on his face, turning it back to him.

“What’s wrong with you, that’s Hanji,” Levi reprimanded and zombie Eren didn’t fight the hold, but he didn’t stop growling, either.

“This is a problem,” Hanji spoke in a low voice, eyeing the soldier on the wall. “We have to get him somewhere people aren’t watching this.”

Levi nodded sharply and then turned back to Eren. “Listen up. I’m going to lead you inside and you’re not going to look at anyone but me, you go it? No one here is a threat.”

Zombie Eren whined a few times again and Levi released his face before reaching out and taking his hand. “Come on then. Hanji, clear a path to somewhere we can contain him for now.”

“My lab,” Hanji nodded and took off. Levi slowly walked Eren into the base, walking him to a holding cell that Hanji had in her lab. It had been built with the intent to study titans up close, but up until now it hadn’t been utilized.

Levi lead zombie Eren inside, forcing the other’s attention to remain only on him with tugs on his hand, even as Eren growled and his head swivelled at the telltale sounds of other humans in the base. He waited for Mikasa and Armin to arrive before he closed all four of them inside, trusting that Eren would recognize them as much as he had Levi. He sat heavily in a chair before zombie Eren collapsed to the floor and nuzzled into his legs, apparently not bothered by Mikasa and Armin’s presence.

“Has this ever happened before?” Levi spoke after a moment.

Armin shook his head. “He’s always turned back, but…”

“But?” Levi demanded.

“He’s never been turned for more than a few hours,” Mikasa whispered. “Eren, do you recognize us?”

Zombie Eren whined again, but made no move to remove himself from where he had pressed himself against Levi’s legs. 

Levi sighed. “We need to clean him up, see how badly he’s damaged. If we can’t get him to shift back right now, we’re going to have to treat his wounds the best we can.”

Mikasa was shaking, but she turned to the door. “I’ll get some water and cloths.”

Armin nodded. “I’ll get first aid.”

Levi slowly sunk to his knees next to Eren. “Where are you, brat? Are you really still in there?” He asked as he carefully removed to tatters that were left of Eren’s clothes.

Eren whined softly, but didn’t fight Levi as Mikasa came back and set a bucket of water down next to Levi and handed him a cloth. Levi soaked it and began to run it over Eren’s body, cleaning the first layer of blood and filth away. It took a while, but when Eren was finally clean, they could see just how badly he was hurt.

In addition to his missing arm, Eren was covered in vicious looking bites and deep scratches. It was clear that he had fought a lot to make it back to them. Levi bit his lip, looking over the damage, most of the wounds still freely leaking blood. He felt guilt rip into him as he surveyed the injuries, he had left Eren by himself to fight that whole horde, he had demanded Eren come back to him. If not for his actions, Eren wouldn’t be as hurt as he was. Armin held out a disinfectant which Levi carefully rubbed into each wound while softly cooing to Eren as the shifter whimpered. It had to hurt, but Eren didn’t fight him, just made soft noises of suffering while Levi worked.

Once he was all bandaged up, Levi helped Eren redress in fresh clothes Armin had the presence of mind to grab on the way back. “There, that’s better, isn’t it?” Levi asked softly.

Eren whined and pressed against him, trying to get as close to Levi as possible. Mikasa let out a soft noise that could be a sob had she not aborted it as it reached her lips. Levi turned his head, even as his arms came up to embrace Eren in front of him.

“I’m sorry,” Mikasa muttered. “It’s just--”

When she didn’t speak further, Armin wrapped his arms around her, hugging her close. Eren whined pathetically at the display, but didn’t attempt to move from when Levi held him against his chest.

“It’s fine,” Levi replied, turning his eyes back to Eren. “It’s understandable. He must have killed that whole horde by himself.”

Eren suddenly jerked back and snarled low in his throat. Levi turned to see Hanji and Erwin standing outside the cell. Levi pulled Eren back against him and hushed him firmly, even as he sent an irritated look to the others. They seemed to understand, taking several large steps backwards until Eren calmed down again.

“We’ll be right back, Eren,” Levi stroked Eren’s hair. “We’ll be just out there. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to see us from in here.”

Eren, seeming to understand even a little, didn’t move when Levi stood and the three of the them exited the cell, leaving him inside. They walked over to Hanji and Erwin who both looked concerned to say the least.

“Is it permanent?” Erwin asked, getting straight to the point.

“We don’t know,” Armin shifted nervously.

“Is he a liability,” Erwin pressed.

“He still knows us,” Levi crossed his arms.

“I can see that, Levi, but he only knows you three and that’s a problem,” Erwin sighed. “If he’s a threat…”

Levi’s whole body tensed and he positioned himself firmly between Erwin and Eren. “Over my dead body.”

Mikasa and Armin moved to stand behind Levi, their silent support speaking louder than words ever would.  _ We will protect him with our lives _ echoing through the room. Levi and Erwin stared each other down for what seemed like an eternity before Erwin relented. “I need a guard on him at all times, to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself or others. You three will take shifts. Hanji, figure out how to get him back. Armin, take first shift. Levi, clean yourself up.”

They all saluted as Erwin left. Hanji turned to Levi studied him. “You’ve looked worse.”

Levi snorted softly. “You’re right. I could look like you.”

Hanji grinned. “And you’d be blessed. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you treat something so gently.”

Levi’s gaze turned into a glare. “Stop it.”

“It’s nice is all I’m saying,” Hanji held up her hands.

Levi sighed. “Eren needs me right now and I’ve spent enough time pushing him away. I have to go… Clean up.”

“Levi!” Armin called out as Levi turned away. When he paused, Armin continued. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. We did it again, but we were going to come and see you this morning. We didn’t mean to leave you alone again.”

Levi hesitated before he turned back to them. “I did it to myself.”

“I know but… Levi, let us take care of you when you’re suffering,” Armin said gently.

Levi shook his head. “It was my fault this happened. I didn’t deserve comfort.”

“It was Eren’s choice, wasn’t it?” Mikasa asked, quietly. “What makes you think you could have stopped him?” 

“I couldn’t,” Levi replied. “He went even after I told him I loved him. And not stopping him will remain my greatest failure.”

With that, Levi left to make himself presentable.


	34. Year 4, part 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of cute fluff and then!!! A little bit of Levi backstory! O.O We'll be getting more into that in the next chapter...   
> Happy MLK day lol

Levi sunk down into the floor of the cell, Eren immediately coming over to snuggle against him. “Hey,” Levi said softly, letting his hands card through Eren’s hair. “Let’s change your bandages.”

While Levi diligently cleaned zombie Eren’s wounds and redressed them, Hanji came up the the cell. Eren snarled softly, but didn’t move as Levi continued to work. Levi didn’t bother to reprimand him. At least it was better than before.

“So, he’s been in here for a while,” Hanji said casually.

“It’s been several days, yes,” Levi agreed as he finished up with Eren’s last bandage.

“Don’t you think we should feed him?” Hanji asked.

Levi turned to her with alarm in his eyes. “What?”

“Well, he’s a titan right now, but Eren is still in there somewhere, and Eren is human. Humans need to eat,” Hanji shrugged. “We should feed him.”

Eren whined softly next to Levi as the raven continued to eye Hanji suspiciously. “What do you propose we feed him?”

Hanji blinked for a second and then shrugged. “Anything?”

Levi relaxed slightly. “I was wondering if you had something you needed to tell me.”

Hanji laughed. “No, I don’t have a store of human meat somewhere. I think we should try to feed him human food.”

“I’m guessing you already have some prepared, AH--” Levi started off strong, but his sentence ended in an undignified squeak as zombie Eren, tired of being ignored, burrowed himself so his head was under the hem of Levi shirt.

Levi blinked down at him like he was crazy. “What do you think you're doing?”

Eren made a series of happy noises and flopped his full weight against Levi's side, pressing his cheek to the strong stomach as he did, sending Levi off balance and both of them sprawling out on the floor. Levi huffed as Hanji cackled, pushing Eren off of him as he sat back up.

“Yes, I do have some food prepared, but since Eren doesn’t want me in there with him, I figured you could give it to him,” Hanji said once she had finished laughing.

Levi stood and took the plates Hanji supplied before sitting in front of Eren again. Eren just tilted his head, ignoring the food.

After a few moments, Levi sighed. “Eat it, don’t just sit there.”

Eren blinked. Levi turned to Hanji who shrugged. After a moment, Levi picked up a piece of bread and held it up. “Open your mouth.”

Eren made a confused whine, but obeyed. Levi shoved the bread in his mouth. “Chew and swallow.”

Eren blinked a few times before following Levi’s order. They went through all the food like this, Levi carefully feeding Eren the entire plate. After all was said and done, Eren tilted his head to the side and whined, almost as if he was asking if he had done well. Levi reached out and ruffled his hair a little bit.

“Good job,” Levi said gently.

Eren made a happy noise and fell forward to nuzzle into Levi’s shoulder. Levi rolled his eyes, but didn’t move and let Eren have his way. Hanji smiled fondly at them from outside the cell.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“Hey, calm down,” Levi gently pushed on zombie Eren’s shoulders. Tonight it was Levi’s turn to watch over Eren and the shifter was eagerly pressing himself against Levi and wiggling around, just like a… “You’re not a puppy. You’re a human, not an animal. Relax,” Levi reprimanded.

Eren whined and huffed, but he stopped moving and flopped against Levi’s side, his body lax. They had sent up a cot in the cell, for the watchers to sleep in while they looked after him, but Eren had very quickly made it his favorite place to curl around them. Levi was laying there now, Eren half on top of him as he made soft, contented noises.

“Would you cut it out? I’ve been working all day and I want to sleep a little,” Levi said crossly, even though his words held no bite. Eren stopped making sounds and just lay there, his blind eyes staring up at Levi.

Levi closed his eyes, wrapping his arm around Eren’s shoulders. Like this, it was like nothing had happened between them. When Eren wasn’t making the inhuman noises and Levi had his eyes closed, he could pretend that they were cuddled together against the cold in the apartment they had called home for so long. That Eren could, at any moment, whisper his love for Levi into the dark like it was a prayer. Levi would give anything to hear those words again.

He must have dozed off at some point, because Levi jerked awake to the sound of Eren’s warning growl. His eyes snapped open and took in the sight of Eren crouching protectively over him while three figures in masks entered the cell. Eren growled low in his throat, gnashing his teeth together in warning as the figures approached.

Levi pushed himself up into a sitting position and his eyes shot to his gear, on the other side of the cell, resting on a chair where he had left it. Too far away. Too close quarters to utilize the gear anyway. Very carefully, Levi reached out and placed his arm in front of Eren, trying to restrain him.

“What do you want?” Levi growled out.

“We are here to kill the titan that threatens the base,” one of the masked people spoke.

Levi narrowed his eyes. “On who’s orders?”

“Our own,” a second spoke.

Levi pushed Eren further back and raised up to his knees. “I order you to stand down, this is the only warning I’ll give.”

Their response came in the form of a flurry of movement, a sword coming at Eren from one as the other two lunged to restrain Levi. Levi dove forward, diverting the blade into a wall while his foot collided with the head of another of the assailants. He hissed in satisfaction at the crack it made as he twisted his body to avoid the grasp of the third.

Eren snarled and lunged forward, but Levi reached out and shoved him back into a sitting position with a harsh “no” before he turned to the men, positioning himself between them and Eren.

“Perhaps we should kill the sympathizer who lays with the titan, as well,” the apparent leader spoke. “Oh, how far you've fallen,  _ captain _ .”

Levi was frozen for a moment before he laughed a dark, humorless laugh. “Fallen? If only you knew… I haven't fallen, you shitstains, I'm better than I ever was, but if that's what you'd like to see, I can show you what I was like before this, before  _ him _ ,” Levi snarled, motioning back to Eren.

Before the assailants could react, Levi moved. A flurry of punches and kicks that resulted in more than one broken bone, bringing the three to their knees quicker than anyone of them could have thought possible.

Confident that they were immobilized, Levi walked in a slow circle around them, like a predator that had trapped its prey. “I wonder, before all of this hell, if any of you have heard of the ripper. Kenny the ripper. The man who killed more soldiers and police than any before him with one smooth slice to the throat.”

There was silence from the three in front of him, but from their subtle changes in breathing he could tell that the answer was yes. It made sense. Kenny the ripper was as infamous as any person could be. Anyone who had access to the news in any form back in the day knew about him.

“Kenny the ripper was my uncle,” Levi said calmly. “He raised me, you know. Taught me all his tricks. Was meant to be his protege, right up until I killed him. I've killed more men than I have titans. Tell me again,  _ how far I've fallen. _ ”

“The ripper’s nephew?” One of the people whimpered, fear evident in their voice.

Only the leader seemed to remain strong. “The commander will love to hear that, I'm sure.”

Levi laughed again, but again it was without humor. “You think Erwin doesn't know? On the contrary, he utilized my past to make me obedient, to help me be a more efficient titan slayer. He knows what I am. The only ones who didn't… was  _ them _ . My family didn't need to know, but who cares now, as long as I keep them  _ safe _ . Now, I've gutted quite a few pigs in my time, but I wonder if you'll squeal like one. Show me.  _ Squeal before I kill you _ .”

Levi made a sound that was a very convincing replica of Eren's inhuman growl when the assailants didn't make a sound. He stalked forward and grabbed one by the hair. “I said,  _ squeal _ .”

His chosen victim made a pathetic whimper and Levi rolled his eyes, throwing the man to the floor. “Useless. Can’t follow a simple instruction,” he spat as he wandered over and one of the abandoned swords on the floor. He studied it thoughtfully, turning it over in his hands as he walked back over to stand in front of the men. “The only real question I have is should I kill you mercifully or draw it out and make it  _ fun _ .”

Levi raised his hand, ready to strike, but there was a flash in his mind, a conversation that felt like it took place long ago. His family who got close to finding out about Levi’s roots but never shied away from him.

 

_ I’ve killed men without the allowance of the apocalypse to cover me. I killed to stay alive on the streets. Am I a monster, Eren?” _

_ Eren shook his head almost violently but then hesitated. “Perhaps we are both monsters and that’s why you can stop me,” he whispered. _

_ Levi nodded. “Then we’re both monsters. I don’t mind being one with you.” _

_ “You both keep us safe,” Armin said quietly. “If you think of yourselves that way then I am glad to keep the company of monsters.” _

 

They had agreed to be monsters together, but everything that Eren did, the lives he had taken, it had been to protect the family with no other way out. Levi looked over the men in front of him. He could call Hanji and Erwin down and have these people dealt with officially. Would Eren still want to be monsters together with a person who kills for no reason other than it was the quickest solution. That talking about it like this had made it seem  _ fun _ ? Would Armin still think his company a comfort? Would Mikasa still look on him like a brother? Levi growled low in his throat, the indecision tearing at him and then suddenly there was an arm around him, holding him firmly.

Another attacker? He whipped around to lash out only to be confronted by tired looking green eyes and a soft voice. “It’s okay, Levi,” Eren whispered. “It’s fine. Call Hanji to deal with them. Don’t dirty your hands with their blood. They aren’t worth it.”

Levi dropped the sword and took Eren’s face in his hands. “Eren? When did you turn back?”

“Hey,” Eren smiled weakly. “I think you pushed me? And then I shifted.”

Levi closed his eyes against the fear that raised at Eren having heard his whole little speech. Thinking back, he should have noticed that the growling had stopped. Eren had been silent that whole time. “You heard it all?”

Eren nodded, but turned his eyes to the assailants. “We need to call Hanji.”

Levi blinked at the way Eren brushed the whole thing off, but he half carried, half dragged Eren over to the intercom. He pressed the button and Hanji’s voice cracked through after a few moments.

“Do you know what time it is, Levi?” She asked crossly.

“Clean up in aisle one,” Levi snarked right back.

“What?” Hanji sounded confused.

“We had rouges try to kill Eren and me. Also,” Levi clarified and then nudged Eren’s side. “Say something.”

“Hi, Hanji,” Eren muttered, his eyelids drooping. “Can I collapse now? I’m so tired. I feel like I haven’t slept in  _ years _ .”

“EREN??” Hanji screeched. “I’M ON MY WAY!”

Eren was slowly losing his fight against the exhaustion and Levi scooped him up in his arms and carefully placed the brunette on the cot before turning back to the assailants. He sat on the edge of the cot and watched them for a while, contemplating what to say. 

“You’re lucky,” was all he said in the end. Then Hanji was there with some security personnel to take the rouges into custody and Mikasa and Armin were crowding around Eren on the cot even though the man was out cold by now.

Levi watched it all from a few feet away. Hanji walked over and stood next to him. “Are you alright?” She questioned gently.

Levi nodded sharply and then hesitated. “He heard about my past.”

“Oh?” Hanji tilted her head to the side. “Did he say anything about it?”

“He didn’t comment,” Levi frowned.

“Well, I’m sure he’s very tired. His body is regrowing an arm at the moment,” Hanji shrugged. “You two can have a conversation about it when he’s conscious.”

Levi nodded. Would Eren still accept him? Or would Eren turn him away? He sighed softly. This would not be an easy conversation.


	35. year 4, part 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this chapter is longggg.... But it's all about Levi's backstory! Uh...... Sorry about that. *sweat drop*  
> Also, as Eren and Mikasa are twins in this au, she's a Jaeger! That's not a typo lol

It took over a week for Eren to wake up again. Levi sat vigil over him, refusing any attempt to be moved other than to shower and eat. As he slept, his arm grew back to its normal shape and size, taking a few days, but the steady progress was heartening. His other wounds were slower to heal than normal though still abnormally fast, but Hanji theorized that it would take more time than before because of the stress on his body from regrowing the arm. When those green eyes opened, though, they immediately focused on Levi.

“Captain, have you been watching over me sleeping again?” Eren teased weakly.

It took everything that Levi had not to dive forward and fold Eren into his arms. Eren had heard everything, he reminded himself. Eren might not want Levi to touch him with his cursed, blood soaked hands, after what he had learned. “How are you feeling?” He finally settled on.

“Better,” Eren said softly. “Still tired, but I think I can stay awake for a while.”

“Good. That’s good,” Levi muttered awkwardly as he stood to move to the intercom. “I should call Armin and Mikasa down. They’ll be happy to see you awake.”

“Are you shutting me out again?” Eren asked, halting Levi’s movement.

“No,” Levi chewed his bottom lip. “No, I’m going to do the opposite, actually.”

“What?” Eren struggled up into a sitting position.

Levi pressed the intercom button and spoke into it when he got a response. “Send Armin Arlert and Mikasa Jeager to the lab,” he said stiffly before turning back to Eren. “For the first time, Eren, I’m going to truly let you in, but I want the whole family to be here, to hear it. Then, you can all make your choices about me together. I’m tired, Eren. I’m tired of running away, of holding you at arm’s length because I’m afraid of what you’ll think of me. I’m tired and you deserve to know what I am. Once we agreed to be monsters together, but I don’t think that you truly know what you were agreeing to and now I’m going to tell you the truth.”

By the time Levi had finished speaking, Mikasa and Armin had arrived. Instead of greeting them, Eren levelled Levi with his eyes. “This has to do with what I overheard when I shifted back.”

It wasn’t a question, but Levi answered anyway. “Yes.”

Eren nodded, even as Mikasa threw her arms around him. “Thank god you’re finally awake!”

Eren smiled. “Good to see you, too,” he hugged Mikasa back and then held out his other arm to Armin who immediately threw himself into the embrace. “But right now, it seems Levi has something he needs to tell us.”

Levi settled himself into the chair by the bed and waited patiently until the others had settled down on the cot. He studied the ground, unable to meet their gazes for this. “When Eren shifted back he heard a part of my past that I had never intended for you all to know, but I shouldn’t have hidden it. I should have told you what kind of beast you were calling brother. I shouldn’t have let you care about me before you had all of the information.”

“What did he hear?” Armin asked and it made Levi pause. Not because of the question, but because of the warmth in Armin’s voice. He didn’t want that to go away. He was just setting himself up to lose his family again, but this time, at least they would be alive and safe.

Eren responded before Levi could bring himself to. “He told the people who came to kill me that he was Kenny the ripper’s nephew. He told them that he had been raised by the man and had killed plenty of people under the ripper’s tutelage. Also said he killed the ripper.”

Eren’s voice was frighteningly calm as he spoke and it terrified Levi almost as much as the silence that followed. He took a slow deep breath before picking up where Eren had left off. “Yes, that’s right. I was a trained killer starting at the age of five when my mother died and Kenny took me in. I was  _ good _ at it. I thought it was  _ fun _ . But then… You’re not the first to call me brother. Before everything happened, I had another family. Not--Kenny wasn’t family. He was my teacher more than anything else. I was his protege, the one who would continue his work. But we lived in the underground and Kenny would leave for weeks at a time to travel and during that time I met them. Isabel and Farlan were their names and… And I loved them,” Levi squeezed his eyes shut as Isabel’s voice rang through his head, cheerfully calling out to him, calling him ‘big bro’.

“Continue,” Eren said in that scarily calm voice.

“Eren,” Mikasa chastised, but her voice cracked, betraying how uncomfortable she was right now.

Taking another deep breath, Levi could do nothing but obey. It was too late to take it all back now, anyway. “Isabel and Farlan made me believe that there was light in the shitty world we lived in. They  _ knew _ what I did when my uncle was around, but they held onto a hope that we would escape it all. Farlan was an amazing hacker and he… He hacking into a certain school’s database, enrolling the three of us as high school students even though we’d never had formal education before that. They wanted us to run away from it all, wanted us to become… Better than we were. We made a promise. Go to school, be normal kids and get away from the lives that were killing us inside, the lives that were nothing but killing and barely surviving. We had a plan and we were going to do it, but Kenny found out. I don’t know how, but he did and when he picked me up for a job, the last one I was planning on doing with him, he took me to a warehouse. There, when he turned on the lights, were Izzy and Farlan, tied up and gutted like… Like animals. And then the bastard looked me in the eye and told me ‘hope will only get you killed, kid. Families are for people who aren’t broken and you’re as broken as me’. I killed him for it. I made him suffer from what he did to them. And then I left. I went to school because it was the only wish of two people who deserved it more than I ever would. Of two people who dared love me enough to try and help me. And then… And then you appeared in my life and… I couldn’t protect Farlan and Izzy not matter how much I wanted to and when you decided I was your brother all I could think was… It was all repeating itself. The world was coming full circle and I would give my life to make sure you kept yours. This time I had to keep my family safe. I couldn’t fail again… But I did. I thought I did, at least and it destroyed me. So when I found you  _ alive _ … I… I  _ couldn’t _ . I couldn’t sign up for round three like it was nothing, but I love you all like the family we are--were--and I… I still would die to keep you all safe, but I  _ understand _ . I’m the only true monster here and if you don’t want to… To stay by my side I’ll still look after all three of you from afar.”

There was silence for a few moments after Levi finished before Eren spoke, still in that same tone of voice. “Are you finished?”

Levi nodded, unable to tear his gaze from the ground. This is where it all ended.

There was rustling from the cot and a soft curse from Eren. “Help me up. I can’t stand yet,” he said, irritation lacing his voice accompanied by more rustling. “Just fucking throw me at him, I don’t care, just get me over there.”

After a few seconds, three sets of feet came into Levi’s line of sight. He looked up hesitantly to find Eren being supported by Mikasa and Armin. “Now what?” Armin asked, looking up at Eren.

“Now,” Eren said, matter of factly. “Levi catches me.”

Levi’s eyes widened as Eren wriggled out Mikasa and Armin’s grips and collapsed forward into Levi’s arms. “Eren?”

“Don’t just sit there, this is uncomfortable. Help me sit properly,” Eren commanded.

Confused, Levi helped Eren shift around until he was sitting with his legs across Levi’s, his torso twisted to face the shorter man. Once he was comfortable, Eren leaned forward and pressed his forehead to Levi’s.

“Here you are, acting like I would love you any less,” he whispered, his breath ghosting over Levi’s. “I know that you needed to tell us, just like I needed to tell you about what my father did to me, but the awful shit that happened to you in the past, or even that you did, doesn’t change the fact that you’re our family. I love you so much, Levi, and I still want to be monsters with you if you’ll have me. And you’re not my brother, Levi, other than the fact that we’ve fucked and that would be creepy as hell,” Eren paused and laughed slightly at Mikasa’s noise of disgust. “You’re the center of my whole universe. You’re the goddamn sun in the middle of it all and labels like ‘family’ and ‘brother’ pale in comparison to all that you are to me.”

Levi stared at Eren with wide eyes, but Armin spoke before he could. “Once, I told you something that you seem to have forgotten. I said to you that it doesn’t matter who you were before the apocalypse. I told you that the only thing that mattered was that you were with us. I said that whatever life had, it gave you skills that helped us survive. I’m not stupid, Levi. It was clear that you’d done some things in the past to give you the skills you had, but it still holds true now that we know. Why would it bother us? You’re our family. Mikasa and my brother and Eren’s sun, apparently. Don’t try and put words in our mouths about how you understand. I’m still happy to keep the company of monsters.”

Levi looked at Armin for a few moments before Mikasa took her turn. “You’re an idiot, short stack. You’re a monster, for sure, but who isn’t at this point. You’re holding a fucking half blind titan shifter with anger management issues in your lap, Armin is the goddamn bionic man with that prosthetic of his and I’m an emotional trainwreck who can only effectively piss people off until they love me or simply tolerate me and you’re acting like this news should, what? Shock us? Scare us away? So your past is even more fucked up than Eren’s and mine. While that’s an accomplishment, big whoop, brother dearest. This is the apocalypse, there are zombies outside and you’re part of the family. Accept it already.”

Levi sat there, stunned for a few moments before his face twisted into a grimace and he shoved his head into Eren’s chest to hide it. The three of them watched his shoulders shake in silence as Eren felt a warm wetness soak through his shirt and he desperately wished he had fine motor control at the moment so he could run his fingers through Levi’s hair. Finally, Levi spoke, his voice muffled from where he had hidden himself away. “How can you all just--just accept this broken piece of shit I am?” 

There was silence for a few more moments before Eren rested his chin on the top of Levi’s head, the only motion he could really make with any surety. “I don’t think it’s so much about finding a person who is whole, or being one that is yourself. It’s about finding someone who’s broken pieces fit nicely with yours. You’re not wrong. You’re broken, but so am I and I think we could make a pretty stained glass window with our shattered bits if you let us stay by your side.”

After a few moments, Levi spoke again, even quieter than before. “If you think I will let you go now, you’ve got another thing coming for you.”

Eren’s face cracked into a smile. “Oh, look, there’s the infamous Levi snark.”

Levi snorted softly, but didn’t comment back until Eren swayed in his grip, nearly careening to the ground it Levi hadn’t caught him smoothly. ‘What’s wrong?” He asked, panic lacing his voice just slightly.

Eren smiled weakly. “Ah, I think it’s time to sleep again. I… Oh.” 

Eren’s eyes slipped closed and the other three occupants of the room exchanged glances and then worked together to get Levi out of the awkward position he was bracing Eren’s sleeping form in and to get the shifter back on the bed. Once he was situated, Levi leaned over other man and pressed a gentle kiss into his brown hair. “I love you more than I will ever be able to express,” he whispered and if Armin and Mikasa heard it, they didn’t say a word.


	36. year 4, part 13

Physically, Eren recovered. His arm was perfectly replaced, the bite wounds and deep cuts all completely vanished, but he wasn’t the same. He was always borderline exhausted, even after a week of having returned to normal. He slept more than ever before, but still woke up tired. No one could offer an explanation for it, no one truly understood his biology in the first place.

When Hanji proposed attempting a new experiment and Eren readily agreed, though tired, thoroughly done with not being permitted to do anything but rest, they encountered a new problem. Eren couldn’t shift. If Levi hadn’t dove off of the building he had been observing from and cut away the zombies that had begun to surround Eren, they might have lost him. As it was he had been bitten again and his body wouldn’t it heal without the shift that wouldn’t come. Even his faster than average ordinary healing seemed to have slowed as the wound bled for long enough that Hanji expressed concern about Eren losing too much blood.

Sitting on his bed at headquarters, Eren held his head in his hands. He was so  _ tired _ but more than that, he felt useless. Without his ability to shift and the strength to pilot the 3DMGear for long periods of time, it was like there was no reason for him to be a soldier. There was no reason for him to be kept at the base with everyone who put a full effort forward. He was wasted space.

As he sat there, being swallowed by self loathing, there was a knock on the door. It swung open before Eren could even respond to reveal Levi standing there with a tray in his hands.

“You missed dinner, brat,” Levi said as he marched over to the table in the room and plopped the tray down on it.

Eren laughed hollowly without looking up. “Should save the food for people who can still contribute.”

The silence that followed was deafening. After a few moments Levi responded and Eren could tell he was angry without looking to see the rage swirling in those silver eyes. “So you intend to starve yourself because you can’t turn titan right now? Is that it?”

Eren didn’t respond, just burrowed his face further into his hands. The silence was back before there was a crash that caused Eren to jump and finally look up. Levi stood there, positively fuming, the shattered remains of a water glass littering the far wall.

“What-” Eren started but Levi cut him off, storming forward and shoving Eren back on the bed, straddling his waist and taking a firm hold on his face, forcing Eren’s mouth open.

Levi glared down at him, the fury Eren knew he would find more pronounced than he had thought. “Fuck that. We don’t fucking know what’s going on with you but I will not have you wasting away in here because you think you’re not contributing or whatever,” As he spoke, Levi turned, grabbing a forkful of food and thrusting it into Eren’s mouth before letting go of his near-death grip on Eren’s jaw and shoving his chin so the brunette had to close his mouth. “Did you know I fed you while you were a titan? I had to do it by hand, just like this. Put the food in your mouth and tell you to chew and swallow because Hanji worried about the human inside the titan, and so help me god, I will continue to do it. Chew and swallow, Eren.  _ Now _ .”

With wide eyes, Eren did as he was told. Once his mouth was clear, he opened it to speak, but Levi shoved another forkful on dinner in before he could get any words out. Eren looked at him with frustration and grabbed Levi’s wrist before he could shovel more food into Eren when he opened his mouth again.

“I get it. I’ll eat, you don’t have to force feed me or whatever this is,” Eren said calmly.

Levi looked down at him for a few seconds before he nodded and put down the fork and moved to get up, but Eren grabbed him by his hips, locking him in place.

“What are you doing, Eren?” Levi asked.

“We never addressed it,” Eren met Levi’s eyes.

Levi felt dread fill his heart, despite everything. Eren had proclaimed Levi the center of his universe after Levi’s admission of his past, but after that they hadn’t spoken about Levi’s last second proclamation of love. Hell, since the confession in the cell, the two of them hadn’t been this close physically until Levi had let his anger and fear get the best of him just now.

“Addressed what?” Levi played dumb.

“You love me,” Eren’s green eyes were soft as he looked up at Levi. “You still love me.”

Levi stared down at the eyes that watched him, so full of love that he felt like he would burst. “More than I can say,” he said finally.

“And I still love you,” Eren added, his fingers loosening their grip on Levi’s hips and slowly tracing patterns up his sides.

“But everything has changed,” Levi bit his lip, finishing the thought he knew was there, even as his own hands began to run along the broad, firm chest under him.

Eren nodded, his fingers ending their journey, one hand lacing into Levi’s hair and the other cupping the back of his neck. “It has. We aren’t the same people we were before.”

“I’m your direct superior now,” Levi added, leaning forward with the gently tug of Eren’s hands until he was hovering inches away from those captivating green eyes.

Eren nodded again, leaning up just slightly to nuzzle the tip of his nose against Levi’s. “You are. It would be against all the rules for us to act on our feelings.”

“Totally irresponsible of me,” Levi whispered before he closed the distance between them, claiming those plush lips in a tender kiss.

He could feel Eren’s smile through the kiss, even as it turned more desperate, both of them having longed for the taste of the other for far longer than should have been necessary. Eren’s hands trailed down, out of Levi’s hair and down his back, settling to cup his ass with a firm grip. Levi hummed softly into the kiss, having missed the feeling of those hands on him like this. Shifting slightly, Levi tangled his fingers into Eren’s hair and pulled back just enough to press his forehead to Eren’s.

Eren was breathing hard already, and it took him an extra few moments to open his eyes again. He looked up at Levi, who let a small smile fall to his lips, before he spoke. “Take me.”

Levi sat back a little, surprise crossing his features. “Now?”

Eren nodded. “Take me, Levi, I’ve missed you so much. Please.”

Levi bit his lip and then shook his head. “No. No, not now,” he gently ran his fingers down Eren’s cheek when hurt crossed those green orbs. “Not now. Not because I don’t want to. I missed you, too. But… Out of necessity, your first time wasn’t as I would have wanted. None of the times we’ve had sex have been like I wanted them to be. We were desperate and and never fully alone and never with enough time… And underprepared. Give me some time. Let me get some things together so I can show you how it should have been since the beginning.”

Eren tilted his head to the side. “But it always felt good.”

Levi frowned a little as he looked down at Eren. “But it always hurt, too, didn’t it? At least in the beginning, before I could make you forget about the pain.”

Eren slowly nodded. “It did.”

Levi leaned forward and kissed Eren again before pulling back. “It doesn’t have to. If we had the time and the correct resources it wouldn’t have. Let me show you what it’s like when it doesn’t hurt. I just need a little bit of time.”

Slowly, Eren nodded. “Alright. I trust you.”

Levi smiled. “Now let me get up so you can eat.”

Eren laughed softly and released Levi, who stood and straightened his uniform. As Eren shifted over to eat the food Levi had brought him, he caught sight of Levi who was watching him with a conflicted expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I don’t know if I should tell Erwin,” Levi muttered.

“What do you mean?” Eren asked.

“You weren’t wrong about this being against the rules,” Levi sighed. “Plus…”

Eren narrowed his eyes. “Plus?”

Levi looked away. “There are things I haven’t told you.”

“What?” Eren asked, his eyes narrowed further.

“I thought you were dead,” Levi whispered, and Eren could detect the guilt in his voice.

“Yes, the thought was mutual,” Eren replied.

“I… I wasn’t--I didn’t…” Levi squeezed his eyes shut, trying to organize his thoughts before he started again. “I slept with him when I thought you were dead. It didn’t mean anything to me, but I…”

Eren watched him before he spoke quietly. “He cares about you.”

Levi nodded. “More than people who have simply slept together a few times should.”

Eren thought about it for a while, finishing his dinner before he finally sighed and stretched. “What do you want, Levi? Do you want me or do you want him? If you don’t tell him what I was to you and what just happened, he won’t ever have to know. He will keep caring about you like that and you can keep sleeping with him whenever you want. I won’t stop you and I won’t ruin it for you. If you tell him, though, I won’t share. If you want me, then you’re  _ mine _ . Make your own choice.”

“You’d give up if I said I wanted him?” Levi’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

Eren smiled sadly. “Yes. Because I love you. I love you so much that if you were happier with someone else I wouldn’t stand in the way of that. I wouldn’t really blame you, either. You deserve someone who isn’t this messed up.”

Levi frowned, his eyes narrowing, that fury from before returning full force, and then grabbed Eren by the hand and dragged him from the room, through the hallways until they stopped in front of the door. Eren looked on in confusion as Levi knocked and, as he had at Eren’s room, walked in before a response could be given, still dragging Eren behind him.

Eren stared with wide eyes at Erwin, who looked up from his paperwork with a somewhat amused expression. “How can I help you?”

Levi pulled Eren forward to stand next to him and spoke in his usual, monotone voice. “I’m fucking my subordinate.”

Erwin’s eyebrows shot up. “You’re… Excuse me?”

Eren gaped at Levi and said at the same time. “You said no!”

Levi sent Eren a look that had him snapping his mouth shut before turning back to Erwin. “Fine, I’m going to be fucking my subordinate. Because before he was my subordinate, he was my lover and it seems as though both of us are interested in picking that back up. Is this going to be an issue, Commander?”

Erwin snorted softly, almost as if he was trying to cover a laugh. “I see. I thought that might have been the case.”

Eren’s eyes shot between the two of them, trying to gauge reactions as Levi and Erwin seemed to stare each other down. Finally, Levi spoke again. “Is that going to be an issue, Commander?” he repeated.

This time, Erwin did laugh. “Do I look suicidal to you?”

Levi’s face split into a smirk. “I didn’t think it would be. Come on, Eren.”

Eren blinked at Erwin as he was dragged from the room and back to his own. He wasn’t sure what had just happened, but he felt something warm take hold of his heart, growing with every beat of it. Levi was  _ his _ again.


	37. Year 4, part 14

“He keeps thwarting us at every turn,” the girl leaning against the wall said crossly.

“Your boy chose the wrong side,” a man standing across from her agreed.

The man in the middle of the room shrugged slightly. “I don’t know if I’d call him my boy. We’ve never met. I was excited that he could shift back and forth so easily, it means that he’s the oldest of us. Regardless, it means that we need him, his growl broke all the conditioning that ours instilled. Imagine how strong his command would be if he knew what he was doing. Seems like daddy dearest never told him what power he was in possession of.”

The woman rolled her eyes. “How do you propose we get him? He’s locked up in that camp. Plus, after having been turned for so long he probably won’t be able to shift back, which means his mind is being eaten by the serum, anyway. If we wanted him we should have just picked him up when he was wandering around outside.”

“You saw what happened when we tried,” the man across the room pointed out. “I had to sever his arm to get him off of me.”

“Pussy,” the woman taunted before she turned ice blue eyes to the man in the middle of the room. “So what do you propose, esteemed leader?”

The man brushed off the obvious taunt as he slowly grinned. “Simple, I’m going to go get him.”

 

``~`**`~``

 

Eren lay on Levi’s bed, the ever present exhaustion in the back of his mind, even as he pushed it down and away, better things to focus on in front of him. Levi,  _ his Levi _ , knelt on the bed between Eren’s spread legs. There was a softness in his silver eyes as he looked down at Eren that the shifter had thought he might never see again until recently.

Levi had already shed his shirt, his fingers tracing gentle patterns across Eren’s thighs and he held the eye contact. After a few moments of the soft touches, Levi leaned forward and pressed his lips to Eren’s a certain desperation taking hold of both of them. Eren let himself fall limp and pliant under Levi’s experienced hands as the older man’s tongue mapped out the inside of his mouth.

Pulling back, Levi smirked down at him. “So eager already,” he teased.

Eren glared in response. “It’s been  _ years _ , Captain,” he snarked back.

Something flashed in Levi’s eyes so quickly that Eren didn’t have a chance to pick up on what it was. “No one since our last time?”

Eren shook his head. “You’ve been the only one to touch me.”

Levi hesitated for a moment before he leaned forward and pressed his face into Eren’s neck, muttering words so quietly that Eren couldn’t catch them. For a moment, Eren let him be, let him take whatever he required from their position before he prompted him to speak up.

“My neck doesn’t have ears,” Eren whispered finally.

Levi sat up and narrowed his eyes for a moment before sighing. “I said, way to make me feel all the more guilty, Jaeger.”

Eren opened his mouth and then closed it as quickly as it had opened. After a second he sighed, too. “I can’t tell you I’m not jealous, but… I understand. You thought I was dead. I thought you were dead, as well. But you’re mine now. Mine.”

Levi grinned darkly at the last bit and ground his hips forward with Eren’s words. “Mine,” he whispered back, words just as heavy as Eren’s.

Eren nodded and smiled back even as he bit back a moan at the movement and possessiveness in Levi’s eyes. “Always yours.”

Levi hummed thoughtfully. “I like you calling me captain. Makes everything seem a bit dirtier, doesn’t it?”

“Getting off on abuse of power,  _ Captain _ ?” Eren shot back.

Levi snorted and leaned forward to capture those plush lips again, only to be interrupted by a harsh knock to his door. His eyes fell shut for a moment before he whispered, inches away from Eren’s lips. “I  _ swear to god _ … I will kill whoever is out there.  _ It’s my day off _ .”

Eren laughed softly and then pressed a quick kiss to Levi’s lips as the knock resounded again, followed by a frantic call of Levi’s name. “Sounds like it might be important,” Eren whispered back.

Levi stood, storming over to the door, not bothering to find his shirt on the way. Hanji stood in the doorway, a slightly frantic look in her eyes. “What?” Levi asked harshly.

Hanji took a slow deep breath, her eyes settling on Eren who had propped himself up on his elbows on the bed. “We have an… Interesting development.”

“What?” Levi repeated.

“There’s someone here,” Hanji said slowly. “That wishes to be in the presence of Eren. He claims to know not only about Eren’s ability, but things that we don’t know as well. He refuses to speak until Eren is there.”

Levi looked over his shoulder, meeting Eren’s gaze, and then sighed. “Looks like this will have to wait, brat.”

Eren smiled slightly. “Yeah, but this time you’re not making me wait another week.”

Levi snorted and walked over to where his shirt had been abandoned on a chair. “You go it.”

Hanji waited with barely veiled fidgeting while both Eren and Levi strapped up their gear. Once they were all set to go, Hanji lead them towards a spare room where the person was.

“Did they at least tell you who they were?” Eren asked, trailing a little bit behind Levi and Hanji.

“No, he showed up at the gates and said he had information he’d only share with you,” Hanji replied.

Eren sent a glance to Levi, who’s expression was blank at usual, but Eren could see the apprehension in his eyes. Arriving at the room, Levi and Hanji slowed their steps to flank Eren as he entered first.

The blonde man sitting in the chair looked up and grinned when they entered, but Eren felt a shiver threaten to snake up his spine at the look. That smile wasn’t something pleasant. Instead of returning it, Eren crossed his arms. “Who are you?”

“Is that any way to greet your big brother?” The man asked.

“I don’t have a brother,” Eren narrowed his eyes.

“Did dear old dad never mention me? Well, he did sweep my mother and I right out of his life when he left, but you are most definitely my little brother,” the man hummed. “My name is Zeke. Zeke Jaeger.”

Eren contemplated the statement before he took a deep breath. “I’ve heard the name Zeke before. My father spoke of him from time to time when he was doing his work on me,” he said quietly. “But how can you prove that you’re him?”

“In this world? Easy,” Zeke replied before he reached up and pulled down the collar of his shirt, revealing a healed over bite mark. “Evidence that we’re the same, enhanced the same way.”

Eren’s eyes widened as he took in the sight. “You’ve been bitten.”

“And I can shift at will,” Zeke replied. “Just like you.”

Eren walked forward and sunk into the chair across the table from Zeke. “Let’s say I believe you. Let’s say you really are my brother. What information do you have?”

“I’m surprised you’re human,” Zeke said calmly instead of answering. “My team saw how long you were turned and we were taking bets on whether or not the serum had eaten away your brain yet.”

“What?” Levi growled out.

Zeke completely ignored him seemingly only focusing on Eren. “It would have been a pity, but it’s a risk that all of us shifters take on when we accept the role.”

“What are you talking about?” Eren pushed.

“Dad really told you nothing, huh?” Zeke’s smile was back, but somehow it was even more sinister than before. “All of that testing he did on you wasn’t just aimless. You’re the orginal. The first shifter. We’ve been watching you and you’ve exceeded all of our expectations, Eren.”

Eren leaned forward and spoke in a deadly, level voice. “I have no idea what you’re saying, but you better become very clear very quickly.”

“All in good time, dear brother, but first you’re going to have to come with me,” Zeke waved off the dangerous look that Eren had given him. “You see, we can’t have that growl of yours breaking our command any longer.”

“He’s not going anywhere with you and you’re going to give us some answers,” Levi stormed forward and slammed his palms down on the table.

Slowly, for the first time, Zeke turned to look at Levi. “The soldier of legend,” he sighed, as if unimpressed. “What is it they call you? Humanity’s Strongest? Looks like a little puppy nipping at his owner’s heels to me. Don’t want your owner to leave you all alone? Poor puppy.”

“How dare--” Eren started, but Zeke kept talking as if Eren hadn’t spoke up, his eyes turning back to Eren.

“Right now, your base is surrounded by titans under my associate’s command. If I don’t walk out of here with you at my side, they will over run it,” Zeke said easily.

“If that is true, we are in a base filled with soldiers trained to fight the titans for a living,” Eren replied.

Zeke tilted his head to the side. “Yes, I suppose you’re right. There’s no way that they’d all fall in combat like, say, the best this base had to offer, the special operations squad.”

The growl that left Levi’s throat was almost inhuman and Eren reached out to take hold of his hand before speaking. “What do you know about it?”

“I know that if you hadn’t broken the command my associate held on the titans withy our growl this base would already be overrun,” Zeke replied.

“What’s to stop me from doing it again?” Eren shot back.

“Because you can’t,” Zeke smiled smugly. “I’m shocked that you managed to shift back with any brain activity left, but since you did you’re not going to be able to turn for the equal amount of time that you were shifted. That’s just how the serum works. It was bold of you to stay turned for as long as you did. Don’t you know that even an hour in titanform is years off of your life expectancy, not to mention the way the serum reduces brain function with continued use? How long were you shifted? Three weeks? Four? I’d be shocked if you made it to thirty at this rate.”

“Three,” Eren whispered.

Zeke nodded. “Come with me, Eren. I can show you how to control it so you live a little longer. Dad left me the key.”

“Like hell he’s going with you!” Levi growled out.

Zeke gave him a pitying smile. “Down puppy.”

“No,” Eren shook his head. “No, I won’t go with you. I’m needed here and if what you said is true, I should be of use again in less than a week.”

“That’s a pity,” Zeke said. “We could have let them live. This whole base, as long as they kept out of our way.”

As soon as the words were out of Zeke’s mouth, alarms started to sound across the base.


	38. Year 4, part 15

Eren ran up the steps that lead to the highest building in the complex to survey the scene, Levi, Hanji and Zeke right on his tail.

Soldiers, falling one after the other at the hands of the controlled titans, trying to defend the inner walls where the non combat survivors lived. Eren’s hand flew to his mouth, even as his other reached out to restrain Levi who looked just about ready to either fly into the battle and get himself killed or turn on Zeke.

“Stop this!” Hanji exclaimed, turing to Zeke.

Zeke simply shrugged and Levi let out a small sound before tearing his arm out of Eren’s grip and diving off the roof.

“Levi!” Eren gasped out, but Levi was already gone.

His swords drawn, he hacked away at a few zombies yards from the building they had been on, exhausting his gas faster than normal to keep out of the reach of the titans. For a few moments, he disappeared in the waves of bodies and Eren felt his heart stutter to a stop. After a second, he appeared again, hauling Erwin with him. It was clear his gear was straining, but he made it back up to the rooftops.

“28, 29, 30,” he said out loud as he dumped Erwin on the ground, taking firm hold of the man’s right arm and swung his blade down harshly, severing the limb completely. “31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36.”

Erwin screamed, but didn’t move, didn’t turn, panting harshly as Levi took a shuddering breath, relief clear in his gaze as he ripped his cravat off and held it to the wound to try and stop the bleeding. Hanji let out an inhuman sound, but dove forward to help. Eren glanced at the bite mark on the severed limb before he squeezed his eyes shut to the scene in front of him, steeling his resolve and turning to Zeke.

“Please,” he whispered. “Please, stop.”

“All I need to hear are the magic words,” Zeke taunted.

“I’ll go with you, please, stop. Leave these people be,” Eren fell to his knees in front of Zeke. “Please, I’ll do anything. Just stop them, please.”

Like magic, the onslaught stopped and the zombies turned and left in an stream. The remaining soldiers stood frozen, confused and unsure of what to do. Levi abandoned his post at Erwin’s side, leaving Hanji to tend to him and grabbed Eren’s arm.

“No! Eren, no,” Levi spoke firmly, like it was an order, but Eren could see the pain, the desperate plea, swirling in those silver orbs.

Eren did the only thing he could do. He smiled as brightly as he could and cupped Levi’s face in his hands. “Trust me?”

Slowly Levi stepped back, pulling from Eren’s grip and shook his head. “The last time I trusted you, I almost lost you.”

“But you didn’t. I came back,” Eren said gently, something akin to suffering cracking into his smile.

“Eren,” Levi locked eyes with Eren and the younger could see the way he trembled. “Don’t.”

“I have to,” Eren whispered. “There’s no way for me to protect you if I don’t go. I  _ have to _ protect you.”

“It’s not your burden to bear!” Levi exclaimed harshly.

“Oh, love,” Eren whispered. “It’s not a burden, but it has always been my mission. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you. Not when I could stop it. Not again.”

Levi dove forward and wrapped his arms around Eren’s waist, begging him not to go with the physical contact when his words failed him.

“We have to go, little brother,” Zeke said cooly.

“Just… Give me a minute,” Eren said harshly, even as he ran his hands through Levi’s hair impossibly gently. He stood there for a few seconds before taking hold of the shorter man’s shoulders and pushing him back.

“Eren…” Levi looked up at him, his eyes still begging the other not to go.

Eren leaned forward and captured Levi’s lips in his. When he pulled back, he could see unshed tears in Levi’s eyes. Running his thumb over the sharp cheekbone, Eren sighed. “Have faith that I will return to you one day. How could I keep going without the center of my universe? Tell Mikasa and Armin I said I’m sorry. Tell them I wouldn’t have gone if there was another way.”

Levi shook his head almost violently, but Eren was already turning away. Levi could do nothing but watch as Eren waked away with Zeke. Could do nothing as he disappeared through the gates. Could do nothing as he already broken soul ripped it’s mangled bits further apart.

 

``~`**`~``

 

“So, what do we do?” Hanji asked heavily, looking around the other members of the room. They were sitting around Erwin’s hospital bed, Levi, Armin and Mikasa, all looking worse for wear. She took a slow deep breath before continuing. “On one hand, I’d like to say that we should spare no expense and get Eren back, but on the other there’s the fact that we’ve been shown exactly how ill equipped we are. Without Eren, we can’t withstand another attack like the last one. As it is, our force has been severely diminished and I’m not sure we can spare the personnel needed to do a complete search for him.”

“Hanji’s right,” Erwin agreed.

“We can’t just abandon him!” Levi growled out.

“I worry about What they will do to him,” Armin said quietly. “From what you’ve told us, Zeke and his companions seem to want to use Eren, but even if he went with them on his own free will he’s too proud and stubborn to submit easily. I doubt they will even get him to shift and who knows what… persuasion techniques they will attempt on him.”

“Now that we know that his ability is killing him, I’d rather he not use it,” Mikasa added. “And it sounds like they want him to do just that. We can’t leave him in their hands.”

“I understand what you’re saying, but our mission here has always been securing survivors and combating the hordes. That is our first priority,” Erwin said firmly. “Hanji, you are acting commander in my stead until I can get back on my feet.”

“Yes, Sir,” Hanji saluted.

“And as for the rest of you, I know this is hard for you to accept, but Eren is with the enemy now and there is nothing we can do about it at this time. He is out of our reach. Your mission is to continue to defend this base. When we are secure, we can revisit the idea of saving him, but for now it would be best for you to put him out of your minds. This is an order,” Erwin commanded.

Levi’s eyes stormed as he stood, fists clenched. “I regret saving you,” he hissed.

“Levi!” Hanji exclaimed.

Levi didn’t even give her a glance as he turned and marched from the room, determination in his stride. Quietly, Mikasa and Armin also stood, following him out of the room.

They met Levi in his office. Before they could say a word, he spoke, his voice soft but clear. “What I am about to do is insubordination. I am going to go against a direct order. If you follow me, we will all be at minimum dishonorably discharged. Stay here, where it is safe and believe in me to bring Eren back.”

Mikasa and Armin shared a look before the blonde spoke up. “While we trust you to save him, he’s already been with them for a few days. I don’t think that Mikasa nor myself would be comfortable here without knowing what is happening.”

“And you might be strong on your own, but our family has always worked the best as a unit. Armin’s brain, our brawn and Eren’s leadership is needed to keep us all safe and alive. Three out of four is better than one until we can get Eren back, and then we can go home. We can finally show you the treehouse, Levi,” Mikasa added.

Levi took a slow deep breath and then nodded. “Gear up and meet me at the gates in twenty.”

Mikasa and Armin nodded and left. Levi closed his eyes and let his body sag against the wall. He was  _ afraid _ . Why did it seem like the universe was determined to pull him and Eren apart at every turn? Why, when ever they grasped at happiness did this shitty world ripped it from their reach with all the viciousness it could muster? Why did it honestly and truly seem like he and Eren weren’t destined to be together, no matter how hard they tried, no matter how much they loved each other? Why couldn’t Levi ever hold on to the one person who mattered most to him?


	39. Year 4, part 16

Eren sat huddled in the corner of the stone room he had been left in, wrapping his arms around himself, his body shivering violently as his clothes clung to his skin, soaking wet. Three days. It had been three days since he had left the base, left his family, left Levi, with Zeke and he hadn’t seen the man who claimed to be his brother again. Not since he had flat out refused to shift for him and his associates, leading to his confinement. If he wasn’t to be of use to them, then he was simply a hinderance, Zeke has said. Then he had granted his lackeys permission to use any means necessary to make Eren shift.

On the first day they had broken all the fingers on his left hand, figuring that if he was in enough pain, he would shift to correct it. Eren had not. One of the lackeys who hadn’t been part of the torture had come to him later and set and bandaged his fingers with an apologetic look on his face, telling Eren that he should just shift so they others would leave him alone.

On the second day, they had flayed his right leg open with almost surgical precision, leaving him unable to walk, unable to put any weight on that leg at all. Again, the other man had come to him and rubbed antiseptic into the wounds, carefully sewing Eren back together with neat little stitches that barely hurt compared to the trauma his skin had already suffered. That day, the man had said he feared what the others would do to Eren and that there was only so much he could do to help.

Today, Eren had been strapped down to a table, a cloth hung over his face and water poured over him until Eren was sure he was drowning. Waterboarding, Eren knew it was called. It had been used on prisoners before the world had gone to hell and then it had been banned for being inhumane. Eren couldn’t say he disagreed. Hours. It had gone on for hours. It was worse than his fingers and his leg, he was sure. Those had been done over the span of an hour each and then Eren was left alone until the other man would come and bandage him up. The waterboarding the sadistic bastards could do for as long as they pleased, as long as they derived sick pleasure from Eren’s suffering.

He dreaded what would come tomorrow. It had been three days and already it felt like years. What he would he forced to endure? Eren feared that he would break. But he couldn’t, he couldn’t break, not if he wanted to protect the people that mattered to him. He had to stay strong, had to resist, no matter what they threw at him, no matter how badly they ruined his body. He couldn’t give them the satisfaction.

He heard the door at the top of the stairs open and then slam shut and then the man with the apologetic face came down.

“Why are you so stubborn?” He asked softly, setting a tray with some food down a few feet away from Eren.

Eren eyed it suspiciously, aware that he hadn’t eaten since the night before, but not wanting to seem too eager. “Because I have to be,” Eren whispered.

The man studied Eren for a few moments before he slid the tray closer. “You can’t walk still, right?”

Eren slowly shook his head and reached out to take the spoon on the tray in his right hand, leaning forward to scoop some lukewarm soup into his mouth, wishing he could hold the bowl in his other hand to glean some warmth from it. “I’ll heal, if your buddies let me.”

The man sighed. “I don’t get it. Why don’t you just do what they say?”

Eren hesitated and sighed. “Because I left people behind that I can only protect this way. What happens to me doesn’t matter, as long as they stay safe.”

The man dove forward, roughly taking hold of Eren’s wrist causing him to drop the spoon, his eyes boring into Eren’s. “Don’t tell me anything like that,” he hissed softly, barely audible as Eren whimpered at the unexpected pain of the grip. The man’s eyes shot to the side and he reared back and smacked Eren across the face, hard before taking hold of the brunette’s hair and leaning in closer to whisper in his ear. “They have cameras, watching us right now. If you tell me anything, they will use it against you. Don’t give them ways to make you obedient. Now, beg me for forgiveness like I’ve said something horrible to you so they don’t know that I’m telling you this.”

Eren whimpered and choked out words. “I’m sorry, please, stop, please, I’m sorry.”

“As you should be,” the man nodded and then sat back, releasing Eren from is hold. “You should submit, Eren. They’ll break you.” And with that he stood and left Eren alone again.

Carefully, Eren rubbed his hand over his smarting jaw, wondering how much he could trust that man. He seemed kind, unlike the others, but it could just be an act. Another way to win him over. After a few moments of mulling it over, he sighed. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it if he actually knew the answer. For now, at least, Eren was stuck in this situation no matter how it unfolded.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Two weeks. Levi, Armin and Mikasa had long since run out of gas in their gear, long since lost any kind of trail they could follow to find Eren, long since abandoned any methodical means of searching and instead spent their days going through building after building, looking for any signs of life they could use to locate the shifter, sleeping in barely secured apartments for just long enough to regain enough energy to continue their search.

It was hopeless. The city was huge, there was too much ground to cover for three people, and that was assuming that Zeke hadn’t taken Eren outside the city limits. They could be literally anywhere at this point, enough time had passed that they could have gotten as far as a few cities over if they desired it. And to add even more uncertainty, if Zeke wasn’t keeping Eren in one place, he could have moved him to places that the three of them had already checked. Entirely hopeless.

It took those two weeks for Armin and Mikasa to realize the mistake they had made. Without the military’s resources, the three of them were well out of their depth in this search. Levi hadn’t accepted it just yet, but they didn’t give him much choice. Not when Hanji arrived with new tanks of gas for them and a promise of no court marshals for returning to base, as long as they did it now. The added promise of a small task force dedicated to finding Eren is what finally pushed the raven to give in and return.

Ultimately, Levi lost a rank as a disciplinary measure, knocking him down from a captain to a major, mostly for show as he really could care less and, on paper at least, he lost control of the special operations squad. In reality, no one had bothered to refill the team so there was nothing for Levi to actually lose there. Instead, he was given leadership of the task force what consisted of Amin, Mikasa and the 104th.

With the military backing their search, it was easier to search for Eren. The intel they received on titan movements giving them insight to the possible locations of people controlling the zombies. And yet, they always seemed to be a step behind. They followed every lead they got at top speed, but they couldn’t ever seem to find a sign of Eren or even the other shifters that Zeke had spoken of.

Sometimes, late at night, Levi wondered if he would never find Eren again.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Four months Eren had endured. Four months of his body being systematically broken, taken apart day by day until he could barely move his limbs of his own accord. It took him four months to break, because today he would shatter like his captors had wanted all along, not that he knew it yet.

He was thrown into a chair in the room they usually tortured him in, but they had left him there today. After some time, Zeke appeared in front of Eren for the first time since he had dragged Eren back here.

“How are you holding up, little bro?” Zeke asked casually.

Eren glared at the other man, unwilling to put in the effort grind out words to satisfy the other man after the others had broken his jaw a week ago. The man who always patched him up had wired his jaw shut after that in hopes to let it heal properly while preventing the others from torturing Eren more that way, but it left him unable to open his mouth to speak, so he always sounded a little muffled, speaking through his clenched teeth. It wasn’t worth it and it seemed more likely that he would be mocked than listened to.

“I see you’re still holding strong, but I’m here with a proposal, brother,” Zeke pulled up another chair and sat down across from Eren. “If you don’t start cooperating and listening to us, we’ll wipe out the base.”

Eren’s eyes widened and he shook his head as vigorously as his suffering body would let him. “Don’t you dare,” he hissed through his teeth. “You promised if I came with you you’d leave them alone.”

“I said we could have left them alone if they stayed out of the way,” Zeke corrected. “But even now they’re influencing you to fight against me, so I’m afraid they’ll have to go.”

Eren closed his eyes, taking slow, deep breaths through his nose. “Fine,” he said finally, reopening his eyes and levelling Zeke with a stare that could harden concrete. “Fine, I’ll shift. Just get the wires out of my mouth so they won’t get in the way when everything heals.”

Zeke nodded and motioned for the man who usually looked after him to start the process. He walked in the room, looking sad, but did as he was instructed. As he did, Zeke spoke. “For now, I just want you to shift back and forth to correct the damage. Then, we will explain to you how to control your powers better and get some practice in before putting you to work with the rest of my associates. Also, you could get to know your new friends.”

Eren closed his eyes, tears welling behind his lids. He had to protect his family. He had to, but now that these people had threatened them to force him to their bidding, he didn’t know what to do. All he could hope was that his family would understand when they inevitably found Eren working for they very people who had taken him from them.


	40. Year 5, Part 1

Bertholdt stood by the door as his comrades cheered while Eren shifted. They were all cheering, excitedly chattering amongst themselves about the possibilities they had now that they could use Eren. He sighed, looking at the freshly shifted man at the center of all the attention. His lips ticked down into a frown as he slowly turned and slid out of the room, making his way down the deserted hallways and out of the compound.

Closing his eyes, Bertholdt pulled at the strings of his shifter ability. While he couldn’t manage huge hordes like many of the other shifters, his talents lay more in surveillance. Bertholdt could tap into the minds of zombies for miles and detect presences near them. He used that power now, searching.

Finally locating what he was looking for, he headed off towards his targets. It took a while, but when he turned down the block, he was confronted with a few members of the survey corps, cutting down the reminance of a horde. He walked down the street, uncaring of the zombies around him. Complete control would mean shifting, but as he was, Bertholdt could influence the zombies to not pay attention to him so he did.

“Guy! Hey, guy! You have to get out of here! We can take you somewhere safe!” A brunette landed next to him.

Bertholdt turned to the girl and instead of taking her up on her offer, he spoke calmly. “I need to speak to Captain Levi.”

“Major,” A tense voice spoke, following the sound of more gear as three others landed nearby.

“What?” Bertholdt furrowed his brow.

“I was demoted leaving against orders. You’re looking for Major Levi,” the short, angry looking man crossed his arms.

“You’re him, then,” Bertholdt said. “I’m here to help you.”

“You say that, but you’re one of them, aren’t you?” The blonde man who had landed with Levi spoke up. “One of the people who took Eren from us.”

“What makes you say that?” Bertholdt was surprised.

“No one would walk down a street with zombies in it as calmly as you did if they had to actually worry about them,” the blonde said. “They didn’t even look at you.”

Bertholdt nodded. “That is true. You must be Armin, the brains.”

“What makes you say that?” The woman with dark hair who stood on the other side of Levi said.

“Eren told me a little bit about you, when he could,” Bertholdt smiled a little. “And that would make you Mikasa. The whole family is here, huh? That’s good. I’m Bertholdt.” He held out his hand to shake, but quickly withdrew it when Levi’s fingers twitched on his blades like he was about to cut off the extended limb.

“What do you want?” the raven hissed.

“As I said, to help you,” Bertholdt laughed weakly. “Maybe I didn’t think this out so well… But I finally had a chance to slip away thanks to Eren.”

“Explain yourself quickly, before I cut you to bits,” Levi growled out.

Bertholdt laughed again, nervously, not at all doubting that threat. “I want to take you to the place where Zeke and the others are keeping Eren.”

“Why would you want to do that?” Armin narrowed his eyes.

“Why?” Bertholdt sighed and looked up at the sky before responding. “Because Eren saved me twice now and he doesn’t even know it. The serum… It kills you with prolonged use, sure, but that’s one of the kinder things it does to be honest. Most of the people who take the serum have a powerful negative reaction to it. It seems pretty random who it effects, but the people who do have the bad reaction lose their minds. Who they are is literally eaten away by the serum, leaving the husk of who they used to be, a deranged being surfacing instead. My comrades… Every single one of them had that reaction and I was left alone with my sanity. We never had a plan. Zeke found his father when the infection started and his father told him about his research… And we thought it would be a way out. We thought we would be safe from infection if we just took the serum, but they went crazy and I remained me. Suddenly my comrades were talking about using the hordes to take over the world, but  _ for what _ . What is left of the world to take? They don’t even know what they’re fighting for. They’re just fighting. I had given up, thought for the longest time that I was the last human left with any shred of sanity, but then Zeke brought Eren back. To be honest, I wouldn’t give him the mark of sanity myself, but I don’t think his crazy is serum induced. That was the first time he saved me. He returned my hope to me on the first day they broke his fingers and he still refused to give in.”

“They did  _ what _ ?” Mikasa growled out, but Levi put a hand on her arm.

“I know. I’m sorry. They’ve done much worse things to him, too, but I couldn’t stop it. I had to keep off the radar so I could help him. I… I did my best to patch him up. I had to be there or he would have died while refusing to shift. It’s not easy to give medical care without any base of knowledge, you know? I’ve never wired a jaw shut before, or set broken bones, or stitched people back together, but I had to learn to keep Eren--my hope--alive. After what they did to him, he should have broken right away, but it took him four months to finally give in and shift because Zeke threatened you again. Eren is under their thumb now because he had to protect you. Again. Which is when he saved me the second time. When he shifted to heal all of the injuries they gave him, everyone was so excited they didn’t even look my way as I slipped out and here I am. Now, I implore you, let me help you. Let me guide you to the place they’re keeping him for the sake of my own soul,” Bertholdt slowly knelt in front of Levi, bowing his head, hoping it was enough to convince them to help him. If nothing else, it would make it easier for the man to kill him, which would be preferable to returning to the compound without aid to watch his hope die.

“How do we know you aren’t trying to lure us into a trap?” Armin spoke up.

“I know how this looks,” Bertholdt sighed heavily again. “But I can only offer you my word that I’m here to help. Please… If you’re not going to come with me, just kill me so I don’t have to go back there.”

Levi turned his back on Bertholdt and he thought for a moment that they were just going to leave him there, but Levi called out in a strong voice to the corps members around them. “Pack it up, we’re going on a rescue mission.”

Bertholdt’s head shot up and he looked at Levi’s back. “You believe me?”

“No,” Levi responded, glancing at Bertholdt out of the corner of his eye. “But even if you mean to trap us, I’ll kill each and every one of you scum until it leads me to Eren so we have nothing to lose.”

Slowly, Bertholdt’s face cracked into a smile. “No wonder he’s so dedicated to you. He looked at me with that same expression when I asked why he was so stubborn. All fierce and determined. Despite the fact that I couldn’t let him say anything to me that they could use, I liked our conversations.”

Levi’s eyes narrowed his eyes, grabbed Bertholdt by the arm and pulled him to his feet. “Lead away, asshole.”

Bertholdt smiled again and turned away, starting to walk back the way he came. “Don’t worry about zombies. I can keep them off of us without shifting. By now, Zeke has probably given Eren the key so he’ll be able to do it, too, when we get him.”

“What is this key?” Armin asked, falling into step with Levi.

“It’s another serum,” Bertholdt shrugged. “Something Grisha had developed later to sharpen the effects of the original one. It makes it easier for us to use our abilities without such a heavy cost. I’ll still die early, it’s not like it completely stops the side effects, but with the key the serum takes longer to kill us.”

Armin nodded, thoughtfully as they followed Bertholdt. “Say we do believe you and you are really here to help us. What are you going to do after we rescue Eren?”

Bertholdt sighed for what felt like the hundredth time. “As crazy as they might be, I can’t abandon my comrades. They are my family. I’m sure you can understand that. Maybe, with enough research I can find a way to heal them.”

Armin hummed thoughtfully and glanced at Levi, who barely nodded. It took a while, but finally Bertholdt stopped, standing in front of an unassuming looking building.

“This is it?” Levi asked.

“Yeah. They operate out of the basement. It’s not huge, you shouldn’t have any trouble finding Eren down there,” Bertholdt nodded.

“You’re not going to show us?” Armin narrowed his eyes.

“If they catch me with you they’ll kill me for being a traitor,” Bertholdt shrugged. “Then there’d have been no point. I can’t go any further with you.”

“Alright, get out of here. Just know that if we find out you’ve been lying, there will be no where in this world you can hide that I won’t find you,” Levi said darkly and Bertholdt nodded, retreating towards the compound on his own.


	41. Year 5, Part 2

Zeke had injected Eren with something right after he had shifted. It had taken a few moments for it to take effect, but now he was looking around, knowing he was fully shifted, but able to see the world around him with a degree of clarity he had never had before. It didn’t correct his damaged sight, he noted, and it was a bit hazy around the edges, almost as if there was ice encroaching on his vision, but he could see it nonetheless. He looked down at his hands, taking in their greyish tinge of death, and wondering if his entire body looked that sickly color.

He opened his mouth to speak, but only low growls came out of his throat. Zeke laughed at his efforts.

“The key is useful, but not perfect. You’re still technically a zombie, even if you have full control now,” Zeke said. “You’ll also have a bit of control when not shifted. Nothing extreme like what you’ll be able to do like this, but you can influence nearby zombies.”

Eren slowly nodded his head.  _ They had said I’m the oldest and strongest _ , Eren thought.  _ I could kill them all now if I called a horde and controlled it. Then I could go home. _

As Eren opened his mouth to unlead a guttural moan to call a horde to him, he heard yelling from down the corridor, followed by a familiar roar of rage that could only be produced by one person.  _ Levi. _

Eren dove forward as he saw Zeke move towards the door, pinning his so-called brother to the wall with an arm against his neck and growling harshly in his face. Zeke stared at him wide eyed for a few seconds before his face contorted in rage.

“Don’t think you can escape us,” Zeke hissed.

Eren just hissed through his teeth as the door burst open behind him. “Eren!”

Eren turned to see Armin standing there, followed by Mikasa and Levi. He let his throat make the small whimpers it wanted to as he looked at them, relief flooding through him. If they were here, they were safe. He could protect them now. Turning back to Zeke, he slammed the other man into the wall, hard and growled as loud as he could before letting him go to slide down the wall. 

“Eren, do you recognize us?” Mikasa asked softly.

Eren blinked at them, taking a step forward before he registered  _ threat _ behind him. Whipping back around, he saw Zeke shifted and growling low in his throat. Eren’s sense peaked, alerting him to the approaching zombies that Zeke was calling. Eren narrowed his eyes and returned similar growls, breaking Zeke’s hold and realigning the persuasion. He could almost feel the fear that rolled off Zeke as he realized Eren had complete control.

Zeke shifted back and leaned against the wall, the exhaustion of shifting taking its toll. “You can’t maintain it,” he sneered. “It’ll kill you, or at the very least make you a vegetable.”

Eren growled again, but Levi stepped forward, wrapping himself around Eren’s back. “You in there, brat?” he whispered.

Eren turned his head and looked down at Levi who held him close, his eyes closed, trust radiating from him even as he hugged a shifter. He knew Zeke was right. If he stayed shifted, the ticking time bomb that were these powers would eat away at what remained of his life. But if he used these powers now, he could wipe out the threat completely. But then his family would be left without him. The family that had tracked him all the way here, to the enemy base to get him.

He let the calm pull of Levi’s voice bring him back, sagging back into the older man’s arms. “Yeah. Always here,” he whispered. The tenseness in Levi’s body loosened at the sound of Eren’s voice. “Let’s go home.”

Zeke darted backwards and through the gated door that lead to where Eren had been kept. “We’ll never stop,” he hissed.

Eren glared even as he felt sleep calling for him. “I’ll stop you at every turn, Zeke.  _ You _ gave me the key. You know I can.”

“It will kill you. We can use up our lifespans and there will be more of us after you die trying to fight us,” Zeke returned.

“Don’t doubt that I will willingly die for them,” Eren growled out. “But I will only do it after I’m sure they will be  _ safe _ .”

Zeke snarled and Levi scooped Eren into his arms and carried him out of the building. Eren looked up at the sky and took a deep breath of fresh air for the first time in months, even as the 104th fell into step with them. As they got clar of the building, there was the rumbling of an approaching horde. Eren put his hand against Levi’s chest to still him.

“You can’t carry me far with your gear,” Eren said. “It’s not strong enough.”

“We’ll get you clear,” Levi replied sharply.

“Let me protect you. I can do it now,” Eren soothed. “It’s alright. I can stop them.”

“At the price of your life!” Armin exclaimed.

“It’s worth it,” Eren shot back.

“No, it’s not,” another voice called. All heads turned to Bertholdt standing a few feet away.

“You,” Eren and Levi said simultaneously and they looked at each other in confusion.

“I couldn’t help you as much as I’d have liked,” Bertholdt said softly. “But I can do this. I might be the youngest and weakest of all the shifters, but I can buy you time. Go, now. I can only command enough of a horde to buy you a few minutes at best.”

Mikasa stepped forward. “They’ll kill you for helping us.”

“Yes,” Bertholdt replied weakly. “But I’d rather die surrounded by my family than not, even if it’s by their hand.”

Mikasa nodded quietly and Levi turned, still carrying Eren. “Let’s go.”

The sound of gear activating all around them as they made their way across the rooftops was dwarfed by Bertholdt’s growl as he shifted and called a horde to him to block their escape.

They could only make small jumps at a time, Eren not having been wrong about Levi’s gear straining to carry both of their weight, but they made it back to the base without being stopped by a horde like they had feared. Bertholdt’s intervention seemed to have been enough to get them to safety.

Upon arrival, Levi swept past everyone who tried to stop them, carrying Eren straight to his quarters and and depositing the shifter on his bed. Once there, Levi crawled over him, Eren blinking sleepily up at him.

“You little shit,” Levi hissed out as he stared down at the other man, though his voice lacked any sort of malice. “What were you thinking?”

Eren closed his eyes and took a slow deep breath. “I couldn’t let you die. They would have killed you. They would have killed everyone. I had to stop it.”

Levi sucked in a sharp breath between his teeth before taking a firm hold of Eren’s face as those green eyes opened again, forcing the younger to look at him. “At what cost? What cost, Eren?”

“Any that is necessary,” Eren whispered.

“No,” Levi replied sharply, his fingers tightening their hold on Eren’s jaw to the point of pain momentarily before they softened and gently stroked the abused flesh as if in apology. “Your life is not acceptable collateral damage.”

“Captain-” Eren started, but Levi cut him off.

“I’m not your captain anymore,” Levi shook his head.

“What?” Eren’s eyes widened in confusion. “Are they going to assign me to someone else?”

“No,” Levi replied. “Hanji is acting commander right now and she wouldn’t do that.”

“Then what… Do you not want me to stay under your command?” Eren whispered.

“You don’t listen to me anyway,” Levi huffed out. “But no, when you left I followed, against orders. I’ve been demoted for my disobedience.”

Eren’s eyes softened. “I’m sorry.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I don’t give a fuck about titles.”

“So what are you now?” Eren asked, sucking his lower lip between his teeth.

“Major,” Levi shrugged. “It was mostly for show.”

Eren took a slow deep breath before he locked eyes with Levi and spoke in a low tone. “Still get off on abuse of power, Major?”

Levi blinked at him before snorting and running his fingers through Eren’s hair, tugging them a bit more roughly than strictly necessary. “You’re such a brat,” he hissed.

Eren grinned. “But you love it.”

Levi scoffed, but it held no conviction. “You’ve been practically falling asleep in my arms since you shifted, now is not the time to rile me up.”

Eren yawned. “I suppose you’re right…”

“Sleep now, we will deal with everything else later,” Levi said softly and he plopped down next to Eren, wrapping the shifter in his arms.

Eren nodded, snuggling into the embrace. “I love you.”

“I know,” Levi whispered. “And I, you.”


	42. Year 5, Part 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, hi, I'm still alive! So I was smacked in the face with some really bad writer's block but I think I've finally got my mojo back, so I'm hoping to return to weekly updates, my lovelies! I estimate there's less than 10 chapters left in this fic, but I could be a little off on that.

When Eren woke again, he was bundled in blankets, the soft sound of a pen scratching on paper the only sound that could be heard in the room. Blinking his eyes open, he looked around, his eyes finally landing on Levi sitting at his desk. He groaned softly and pushed himself up into a sitting position.

Levi was at his side in seconds. “How do you feel?”

“I’m alright,” Eren muttered. “I wasn’t shifted for more than ten minutes.”

Levi nodded and cupped Eren’s face in his hand. “You slept for a day.”

“It’s good to be home,” Eren replied, nuzzling his face into the cool hand.

The corners of Levi’s mouth twitched up for a second before it slid into seriousness. “Hanji and Erwin want to speak to you.”

“I bet,” Eren stretched his arms up over his head, his back popping as he hummed in satisfaction.

“No matter what they say to you, I want you to promise me that you won’t use your abilities again,” Levi said seriously.

Eren paused, searching Levi’s face. “What? Why?”

“Promise me, Eren,” Levi repeated.

Eren bit his lip for a few moments before he shook his head. “I can’t promise you that. Not if using my power could protect you.”

“I can take care of myself,” Levi replied sharply before he looked down at the bed. “I’m already going to lose you early, Eren. Don’t rush it any more than it already has been. Please.  _ Please _ .”

Eren remained silent for a few minutes, looking over Levi’s form. His shoulders were hunched down, eyes glued to the sheets as he waited for Eren’s answer. When Eren inhaled to respond, he could see the slightest of flinches shake through Levi’s body, like he was expecting to he rebuffed.

“I promise,” Eren said softly. “I won’t shift again unless there is no other way.”

Levi nodded. “That’s better than nothing, I suppose.”

Eren smiled weakly. “It’s the best I can offer. Plus, this key I have how might change some things, so hear me out when we go to talk to Hanji and Erwin.”

“Eren,” Levi said quietly.

“Yes?” Eren asked, just as softly.

Levi hesitated for a long few moments before he sighed and stood. “We should go.”

Eren nodded in response, guilt sweeping through him. Right now, Levi seemed so much smaller than usual. Like a single word could make or break him. Eren didn’t want to be the reason that he cracked, not again, not when he knew that he had already caused such a thing before.

And yet, after a moment, Levi seemed to collect himself. He pulled himself up to stand tall and lead Eren out of the room and to where Hanji and Erwin waited for them.

“Eren!” Mikasa flew into his arms before Eren could steel himself, knocking the tired man back against the wall with a somewhat muffled oof.

Eren smiled gently, hugging her back as Armin wrapped his arms around them both as well. “I’m home, guys,” he whispered softly.

After a few moments, Mikasa reached out blindly with one hand, the other still secured tightly around Eren, and grabbed onto Levi’s shirt, jerking him into the embrace. He was stiff when arms came around him, unsure of who was embracing him but no one seemed to care about his rigid posture.

After a minute, Levi sighed softly and patted whoever his hands could reach. “It’s unseemly for an officer to be embracing his subordinates, you unruly cretins,” he said, no bite in his voice.

“Like that would stop you,” Eren teased.

“Don’t start,” Levi growled and pulled himself back from the embrace. “Our superiors are waiting for us.”

Eren laughed softly, but the three pulled themselves apart and moved to follow Levi into an office.

“Eren, it’s good to have you back,” Hanji smiled warmly.

“It’s good to be back,” Eren returned the smile.

“What can you tell us about the enemy?” Erwin asked, straight to business.

“Less than I’d like,” Eren replied, chewing on his lip. “I was kept in a dungeon for most of my time with them due to the fact that I refused to comply with their orders.”

“The man that helped us told us somethings,” Armin spoke up. Going through the story Bertholdt had told, Eren nodded along and interjected whatever information he could.

“So now you possess the key?” Erwin asked once they had finished.

Eren nodded. “It seems when I’m shifted I have a greater level of consciousness and  can control the mindless hordes. I am the strongest of the shifters. My powers override theirs.”

“How long can you use it?” Hanji asked softly.

“Until I die,” Eren replied.

“That’s what I’m asking,” Hanji shook her head. “How much longer do you have?”

Eren bit his lip and his eyes shot to the side, barely glancing at Levi before turning back to his superiors. “Something within the key has left me more in tune with myself. As such, I can estimate that I have about seven years left if I don’t use my power again. However… I might be able to counteract that.”

“How?” Erwin asked.

“It’s more of a theory than anything, but do you recall how Zeke had mentioned he is surprised I’ve lived as long as I have with how I’ve used my shift?” Eren glanced around the room before he continued. “I believe that the titans are so hungry for flesh because it prolongs their lifespans, even as the serum eats away at them. The serum almost has a mind of its own, eager to spread but also to survive. I believe the bite not only spreads the serum into a new host, but in the process the original titan receives lifeforce from its victim. I think that I’ve managed to survive so long because many of the titans I have killed while shifted died not because of wounds I inflicted, but because I was unconsciously draining the bits of life force they had consumed. I can’t confirm it without biting another titan, but that’s what I believe.”

“That is an interesting theory,” Hanji hummed.

“When he bit Ymir, she was unconscious for week,” Armin said softly. “It would support the theory.”

“It would be interesting to confirm,” Hanji agreed. “With that, Eren could potentially live longer than we expected.”

Levi turned to Eren and studied his face. “You can control how much you take?”

“Before I did on some level, as Armin said, I bit Ymir but didn’t kill her. Now that I can think while shifted, I probably could do it even better,” Eren confirmed. “But… I promised you.”

Levi nodded as he shed his jacket and rolled up his sleeve, holding up his bared arm. “Circumstances are different now. Bite me.”

“Levi--” Eren started, but Levi cut him off.

“It’s an order, Eren. Bite,” Levi repeated.

“Don’t make me do this,” Eren whispered. “That’s your lifeforce I’d be draining. Even if it extended my life, it would take from yours.”

“So don’t take too much,” Levi replied.

Eren took a slow, deep breath and sent desperate eyes to Hanji and Erwin, but neither of them intervened. “Please, Major…”

Levi leveled him with serious eyes. “First you tell me that you are going to die early, seven years, you said. Then you tell me that there is a way to reverse it and you expect me not to pursue it? Do you have to shift first or does it work like this? Do whatever you need to, Eren, but bite me before I make you.”

“I think my bite is the same, shifted or not now that I have the key,” Eren whispered. “But you can’t ask me to do this.”

Levi growled, took two large steps forward and pressed his forearm to Eren’s lips. “Bite. Me.”

Eren shook his head. “I won’t take your life,” he said softly, words muffled by Levi’s arm.

Levi’s eyes narrowed and in one smooth motion, he slammed Eren back against the wall behind him, causing him to gasp as Levi forced his arm into Eren’s mouth with enough force that Eren could tell that his teeth would puncture Levi’s skin soon whether he wanted them to or not.

“You think that I will live in this world after all of this when you’re gone? You think that I went through hell, losing you over and over again, only to have you crawl back into my heart each and every time like some kind of parasite when you returned? You think that now that I’ve finally accepted that there is  _ no getting rid of you _ from the depths of my very soul, I will thrive in a world where you have ceased to be? No, my guiding light. When you are snuffed out of this world, I will be right there by your side, so fucking bite me already because it’s not going to change a damn thing,” Levi hissed.

Eren studied Levi’s eyes, even as tears welled in his own. As they fell, he snapped his jaw down, cutting into the flesh of Levi’s arm, hot blood rushing over his tongue. Barely a few seconds passed before he released and slumped back against the wall and Levi leaned heavily against him, feeling suddenly exhausted.

“A year, give or take,” Eren whispered. “I took a year from you. I’m so sorry.”

“You’re sure?” Levi muttered.

“About as sure as I can be,” Eren confirmed.

“Good,” Levi sighed and shakily tried to push himself back to stand on his own feet before giving up and letting his weight fall back onto Eren. “A year is more of a bitch than I thought it would be.”

Eren hummed. “I know. Hell, a few weeks taken had me sleeping for a day. A year will put you down for a while.”

“Don’t lump us together, you shit,” Levi hissed out, but he rested his head against Eren’s chest and didn’t fight it as his eyes slipped shut.

Eren looked up at the other people in the room, all of which looked different levels of stunned. “It worked and I won’t lie, the lifeforce of a living human is much more potent than anything I’ve gotten from a titan. I took a year because I didn’t expect it to come to me that fast. I had honestly intended to take no more than a week.”

Hanji was the first to collect herself. “Is it the mechanic of the bite that takes it, or is it just ingesting blood of a human?”

Eren hummed. “The bite, but the taste of blood is what triggers the process. I don’t really know, but it is a strong urge so I assume that if I tasted blood I would go into an almost feral state that made me desperate to bite.”

“This is so interesting! It’s almost vampiric,” Hanji squealed. “So you have about 8 years to live now?”

Eren nodded. “Yes. And the Major has one less than he did before.”

“This is all well and good, but I need to fucking sleep so can we wrap this up?” Levi mumbled from where he was still firmly planted in Eren’s chest.

Eren laughed softly and looked down at the man who was using him as a glorified pillow. “Do you want me to carry you back to your quarters, Sir? I know you are very proud, but I also know what you’re going through feels like.”

Levi seemed to struggle for a few seconds before he nodded weakly. Eren smiled carefully scooped Levi up into his arms before he respectfully inclined his head to the other people in the room. “If you’d excuse us.”

Levi was asleep before Eren even got him back to his bed.


	43. Year 5, part 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Look at me, actually posting on my weekly posting day! TWO WEEKS IN A ROW! Are you proud of me, my lovelies?

Levi slept for three days. When he woke up finally, Eren was curled around him like a protective puppy, holding him close. Levi groaned, his limbs feeling heavy after so much sleep.

“Levi?” Eren whispered.

Levi nodded and humed when Eren pulled him impossibly closer. “How long was I out?”

“Three days,” Eren mumbled. “I’m so sorry. So, so sorry.”

Levi grunted, even as he detected the minute trembling of Eren’s arms around him. “Don’t apologize. I made you do it.”

Eren nodded, but he didn’t speak as he gently pressed his lips to Levi’s jaw, his cheek, his throat, his forehead, everywhere Eren could reach without relinquishing his hold. His kisses were soft, apologetic--almost reverent--and Levi didn’t know what to do to take away this guilt he’d forced onto Eren. What he had said was true. If Eren died, Levi wouldn’t keep living without him. He had tried that and it had been terrible. He couldn’t do it again, but now that he was out of the heat of the moment, his arm no longer forced into Eren’s mouth of his own volition, Levi could understand exactly how selfish he had been. Somehow, when it came to Eren, it seemed as though he was always selfish and Levi didn’t know how to stop.

“I’m sorry I made you do it,” Levi muttered.

Eren shook his head, pausing his quest of kisses. “I could have… I could have stopped you if I really wanted to, but… What you said…”

Levi sighed and turned his head to meet sad pools of mismatched green. “I don’t intend to live without you again. I don’t think I can if I tried.”

Eren nodded. “Believe me, I understand.”

Levi let the smallest of smiles tick up the corners of his lips before he leaned forward and pressed his face into Eren’s neck, inhaling his comforting scent. “So, what happens now?”

Eren swallowed  heavily before he managed a response. “I don’t know. Even if I can regain my time from other titans, there’s not much I can do to combat Zeke and his associates if we don’t know when they’re going to strike, especially if trying to will only uselessly eat up my life without much to bolster it back up. Consuming titans isn’t like when I bit you. I can only get days to weeks from them usually. I think we will just have to wait for them to make a move.”

Levi hummed softly and gently kissed the neck in front of him before he spoke. “You know, I don’t usually sleep much.”

“I’m well aware of that. You never have,” Eren replied. “I’d wake up all the time in the apartment and find you keeping watch over us.”

Levi nodded, trusting that Eren would feel the motion. “You could keep taking from me. Maybe not years at a time, because three days is a bit much, but I wouldn’t mind being able to sleep a regular eight hours from time to time.”

“Levi--” Eren started, but Levi cut him off.

“Just think about it. It would be a benefit to me as well as you,” Levi said softly.

“I just--” Eren paused and took a deep breath. “Levi, I don’t know how long you have. I can feel my own time, but I can’t tell you about you or anyone else. Even if I take a few hours from you every now and then I don’t know what kind of impact that will have on your future.”

Levi lay still for a few moments before took another deep breath and shrugged. “Well, if you think about it, how little I sleep probably has some pretty negative effects on my health, too.”

Eren sighed deeply. “I know that, but I’m so scared, Levi. What if one time I can’t stop? What if I kill you by accident?”

Levi snorted softly. “I wouldn’t be suggesting this if I thought you would lose control.”

Eren took a slow deep breath and rolled to sit up. “I’ll think about it. I bet you’re hungry right? I’ll go get you something to eat.”

Levi nodded. He had new appreciation for Eren’s ability to move around after his shifts. Parts of Levi that he didn’t know he had felt heavy, filled with a bone deep tiredness that even his chronic insomnia never seemed to produce. It was nice in way, though, with Eren there, aware of what Levi was feeling in a way that only someone who had experienced it themselves could.

Eren gently ran his fingers through Levi’s hair, leaning down to pressing a soft kiss to his temple before he stood and stretched, his joints popping as he sent Levi a soft smile. “You can go back to sleep. It’s alright. I’ll wake you up when I come back with something to eat.”

Levi hummed softly, his eyes sliding shut as Eren left the room. Some time later, Levi wasn’t sure how long as he did indeed doze off again, Eren ran feather light fingers up and down Levi’s arm.

“Here, eat,” Ere smiled, holding up a tray.

They ate together in companionable silence until the food was gone and Eren was sitting next to Levi on the bed again, pulling the older man into his arms, secure against his chest.

After some time, Eren spoke. “What are you going to do when all of this is over?”

“What, the apocalypse?” Levi scoffed.

“Yeah,” Eren replied. “We’ll be able to end it one day, I think. Once we get rid of Zeke and his associates then I don’t see why we couldn’t.”

“I doubt either of us will live that long,” Levi muttered.

Eren was silent for a few moments before he continued. “No. Probably not. But that just means we don’t have to limit our dreams. We can decide to do literally anything we want! Like… I’m going to own a castle.” 

Levi snorted. “Fine, have it your way. I’m going to get an airplane.”

“A house by the ocean,” Eren said wistfully.

Levi couldn’t help the smile that quirked his lips at Eren’s tone. “Industrial cleaning supplies.”

Eren laughed softly. “One of those big canopy beds.”

Levi hummed. “I wouldn’t be opposed to that. With plenty of blankets and pillows.”

“A dog,” Eren giggled.

“Make it a cat and we can agree,” Levi shot back. “And a garden I can tend.”

“A cat sounds good,” Eren replied.

They fell silent for a while, Eren’s arms squeezing tight around Levi. For a while, they just lay there, words unspoken echoing around them.  _ A future. What I want is a future.  _

After some time had passed, Levi twisted in Eren’s arms and pressed a kiss to the corner of the other’s lips. After a few seconds, Eren responded, shifting slightly to slot their lips together. The kiss was soft, gentle in ways that spoke for them.

When their lungs screamed for air, Levi pulled back and spoke. “Let me take care of you.”

Eren blinked at him. “You’re still recovering.”

“Yes,” Levi admitted. “But we don’t know when Zeke will strike again. For all we know, this is the last time you will be able to hold me like this... for a while.”

Eren bit his lip, but nodded. The unspoken  _ we could die tomorrow _ louder than anything else in the world. There was no way that Eren would deny Levi this. Shifting more, Levi turned completely in Eren’s arms, pressing his lips back to Eren’s, this time the kiss more desperate than before.

His fingers slid down his own chest, deftly undoing the buttons on his shirt so that he could shed it before running his hands up Eren’s stomach, fingers catching on fabric, breaking the kiss only for the few seconds it took to remove the offending article so they could press skin to skin.

Reaching down, Levi palmed Eren’s hardening member through his pants and smirked when Eren’s back arched clear off the bed. “This time, if someone knocks on that door, they can fuck off. I don’t care what’s happening.”

Eren wheezed out a laugh as Levi continued to rub against his now fully hard cock. “Yes, Sir.”

Levi hisses as he took a firm hold of Eren’s legs and thrust their still clothed hips together. “Call me by my title.”

Eren moaned at the friction. “God, Major, fuck me, please, please,” Eren whined.

Levi dropped his head and let out a long groan before tugging at Eren’s pants. “Off. Now. Off.”

Eren nodded and scrambled out of his pants as Levi did the same. Once they were bared to each other, nothing could stop the roaming hands and mouths as Eren let out soft moans when Levi sucked on a particularly sensitive patch of flesh while Levi made quite huffs of pleasure when Eren brushed his fingers up and down his length.

Levi reached over to the nightstand and pulled out a bottle of lube he had procured. Sliding down Eren’s body, kissing and licking as he went he lubed up his fingers and warmed it before sliding down Eren’s length and sucking hard before prodding at Eren’s entrance. Eren whined and writhed, as Levi pushed the digit inside him.

“It feels good, Major,” Eren whimpered. “More, please.”

Levi moaned around Eren’s cock and slid a second finger into the younger man, stretching him until Eren was bucking his hips and again begging for more. He repeated the process with the third finger before pulling back and lubing up his cock liberally.

“Are you ready, soldier?” Levi asked, his tone low as he lined himself up with Eren’s hole. How much Levi was obviously enjoying the power play sent licks of fire up and down Eren’s spine.

“Please, please,” Eren whined out. “Fuck me, please, Major Levi, fuck me.”

Levi hummed, low and sultry before pushing in slowly. Eren moaned loudly as he was finally filled. Compared to their previous times having sex, the small burning sensation was nothing. Now he understood what Levi had meant when he had spoken about having the proper materials. The lube made a world of difference. Before Levi could even finish bottoming out, Eren was thrusting his hips to make the other man move inside him.

Levi groaned, gripping Eren’s hips to hold him still. “Patience, soldier. I’ll take care of you.”

Eren whined as Levi pulled out at a snail’s pace and then thrust back in, slow but hard, nailing his prostate as he did. The pace continued this way, Levi holding Eren down so he couldn’t do anything but take it and moan out encouragement until Levi’s control broke and he began to fuck into Eren with abandon.

Eren was practically screaming as Levi pounded into him, his hand coming down to squeeze Eren’s cock tightly. “What do w-we--ngh--say, soldier?”

Eren’s lust hazed eyes struggled to focus on Levi as he opened and closed his mouth around cries. Finally, he choked out. “Please, Major Levi, let me cum, please.”

Levi moaned loudly and pumped Eren’s cock vigorously as he himself finished inside Eren, the younger cumming seconds later. They slumped together, both panting hard as Levi’s softening cock slid out of Eren, leaving a sticky white trial dribbling from Eren’s abused hole in its wake.

Finally, Eren managed to get his vocal cords to work, his voice rough from the screaming he had been doing. “Holy shit. It’s a world of difference with lube and not having to be silent.”

“Good different?” Levi muttered into Eren’s chest.

“Oh yeah,” Eren groaned, forcing his arms up to wrap around Levi. “Plus, I enjoyed your kink.”

Levi snorted. “Good, me too.”

Eren smiled into Levi’s hair. For all they knew, this was their last night together like this, but damn was it a way to go out.


	44. Year 5, part 5

They woke to alarms. Levi sat bolt upright in bed looking around for a threat while his arm extended, the knife he kept under his pillow snapping out to ward off threats. Eren next to him rolled right out of the bed and crouched in a defensive position. Upon realizing that there was no impending danger in the room, Eren’s eyes snapped towards the windows, boarded over and unable to been seen through unless one was close enough to utilize the the cracks in the boards, but Eren stared at them like he could see right through them.

“What is it?” Levi asked.

“Titans,” Eren muttered. “Lots and lots of titans.”

Levi leapt to his feet, but swayed slightly once there, still not at 100% after having had Eren feed on him. After steadying himself, he started to hastily throw on clothes and gear. “Get dressed. How far out and how much is lots?”

“They’ve already broken through the gates,” Eren replied, halfway through buckling his own gear up. “And more than we’ve ever seen before.”

The two of them ran out into the hallway, only to be met by Hanji and Erwin. “Thank god you’re both here. We’re under siege.”

“We noticed,” Levi said tensely. “What’s the situation?”

“The shifters are raising hell. The soldiers are fighting, but outlook isn’t fantastic,” Erwin said, his voice tense. “I need both of you on the field.”

Levi saluted. “My blades are yours.”

“Eren,” Erwin turned to the brunette. “How much time do you have when shifted?”

“Two hours, Sir,” Eren replied. “Not counting anything I consume once I get out there.”

Erwin nodded. “Shift as a last resort.”

Eren nodded and he and Levi branched off from Erwin and Hanji to so face the hell outside. Just before they left off the roof, Eren grabbed Levi’s arm. “You’re still recovering.”

“I’m humanity’s strongest, Eren. I can’t look weak in front of the other soldiers. I have to get out there,” Levi shrugged off Eren’s hand.

“What will it do to moral if you die?” Eren asked pointedly.

Levi narrowed his eyes, but sighed. “I’ll be careful.”

“You better. We have plans to live for,” Eren smiled brightly, but it didn’t fully reach his eyes. 

Levi reached out and gently squeezed Eren’s arm in response. “I’ll see you on the other side.”

Eren nodded and they both dove off the roof together. It was hell in the courtyard of the base. The titans were everywhere, more still pouring in from the gates. There was a great cheer from the soldiers who were fighting as Levi appeared, immediately tearing into the titans nearest to him, and Eren couldn’t deny that the soldiers seemed to fight harder with the seeming infallible major swooping through the hordes, but that didn’t stop him from worrying. Eren was intimately familiar with the fatigue that Levi was undoubtedly still feeling.

There were screams of fellow soldier falling all around him, most snuffed out by their comrades before they could fully turn after having been bitten. Despite the moral boost that came from Levi and Eren joining the fray, it was clearly a losing battle. Eren managed to spot Mikasa and Armin off to his left, fighting valiantly, Mikasa working double time to keep Armin safe and the blonde using his prosthetic to fend off bites as they came instead of trying to avoid them, but they were being pushed back, further into the base.

To his right, Eren could identify Levi shouting directions to the soldiers around him. He couldn’t make out the words, but the tone of his voice was harsh and professional. When he turned his head to look, Levi was expending gas at an accelerated rate, dispatching titans like he was born to do it even as he kept shouting orders, but Eren could see the exhaustion written on his face, how his breathing was rough as he struggled to save as many lives as possible. Eren could see the close calls that Levi barely managed to avoid in his worn out state.

If Eren didn’t do something, he would lose everyone that mattered. Two hours. He had two hours of shift left in him before his eight years of life was eaten away by the serum. He could shift and break the control of the titans in the base and that would only take a few months off his life span. Or… Or Eren could do more. He had a sneaking suspicion that Eren could do much more if he used all of his eight years in minutes. He was pretty sure that he could end the apocalypse, but the cost would be his own life. If he was wrong, he would die meaninglessly, but if he was right...

Taking a deep breath, Eren took off towards Armin and Mikasa, signalling Levi as he went. The four met on a roof top as the battle raged on.

“What is it? We don’t have time,” Levi panted out once he landed.

Eren looked at each of them in turn before he hugged them all, one at a time. “I love you all,” he whispered.

“Are you alright?” Mikasa asked, narrowing her eyes.

“I’m going to make sure you all live, alright?” Eren smiled at them. “Believe in me.”

“What are you talking about,” Levi asked harshly, his breathing still ragged.

“I’m going to end the apocalypse,” Eren replied. “And I just needed you all to know that I love you more than anything before I do.”

“What are you going to do?” Armin asked, carefully.

“Watch and find out,” Eren shrugged and turned his back on them. “Look after each other once I’m gone.”

“You’ll be there,” Levi said, his voice sharp but edging on frantic.

Eren looked over his shoulder with sadness in his eyes, but smiled nonetheless. “Not this time. It’s going to take everything I have left.”

And with that he dove off the building and landed on the ground, shifting as he tore forward. Concentrating, he let out a rumbling howl from his chest, pushing his will, his life force into it. It only got louder as he went, echoing off buildings and walls, sending almost a shock wave through the titans as it went.

It was like a ripple effect. He could only hope it spanned far enough. He had sent the command through the titans around him, forcing them to transfer to the ones further away, hoping it didn’t stop until every titan fell under the order. _Kill_ it said. _Kill each other_. _Kill the shifters other than me. Kill, kill, kill._ _Rip each other apart and them sever your own head. Kill. Die_.

Eren remained standing long enough to watch the titans follow his order, feeling his shift slide off. He sunk to his knees, his vision blurring as he fell. He hoped it would be enough. He hoped it went far enough. He hoped it wasn’t in vain. The last thing he saw was Levi, Armin and Mikasa sprinting towards him, but he felt death embrace him before they could reach him.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Levi watched Eren fall to his knees and then sink to the side, the spark of life fading from him. He didn’t really know what Eren had done, but the titans had turned on each other, ignoring the humans. He had said it would cost everything and Levi could see Eren dying before his eyes. His heart screamed as Eren fell, but Levi refused to accept it. He  _ refused _ .

Finally reaching Eren’s side, Armin and Mikasa right behind him, he shook those broad shoulders. “Eren!”  No response.

“His pulse is fading,” Armin whispered.

Levi blinked back tears. This couldn’t happen. There had to be something that he could do. There had to be… There was. “Eren, bite!” Levi ordered, pressing his arm to Eren’s lips. 

No response. The boy wasn’t even conscious. “Levi,” Mikasa looked at him with such sadness in her eyes and Levi looked back desperately before turning his eyes back to Eren.

“Bite, dammit!” Levi shouted down at the motionless body.

“His pulse stopped,” Armin gasped out through tears, his fingers still clinging to Eren’s wrist, as if he could will a pulse to start up again.

_ No. Levi would not let this happen _ . “Open his mouth,” Levi commanded Mikasa and she complied without question. In a last desperate act, Levi pulled back, cut into his own skin with one of his blades and forced it into Eren’s open mouth. Armin gasped and Mikasa had tears streaming down her cheeks and they all watched Eren’s face. Nothing happened for several moments, Levi’s blood pouring freely over Eren’s tongue and he feared he was too late… Until Eren’s teeth snapped down on Levi’s arm with impossible force, tearing into the skin.

Levi winced, but didn’t pull away. Eren’s eyes snapped open, but they were glazed over, unseeing. Levi didn’t try to stop him, even as the already present exhaustion washed over him, making his body sway, struggling to remain upright.

“That’s it,” Levi whispered. “Take as much as you need. Take from me.”

Slowly, the haze in Eren’s green eyes faded and panic filled them as he wrenched his teeth out of Levi’s arm. Levi lurched forward and caught himself last second, but he smiled down at the panicked man. “Levi,” Eren gasped out.

“I love you,” Levi said and then he collapsed to the ground, the world going black.


	45. Year 5, part 6

Eren stood in front of the hollowed out tree that housed the cross he, Mikasa and Armin had made for Levi. He sighed softly, looking over the grave, gently stroking his fingers along the wood alcove. He leaned forward and pressed his forehead against the tree, closing his eyes and steadying his breath.

“You know…” Eren paused and bit his lip before continuing. “When I made up all of those stupid dreams with you, what I really meant is I wanted you by my side to experience them.”

He waited as if he expected an answer, but all he heard was the rustling of the trees around him for quite some time. Finally, Mikasa’s voice jolted him out of his thoughts. “Hey, Eren, you ready to go?”

Eren turned his head, looking down at his sister on the ground. “Yeah… Yeah I think that I’m going to leave the grave.”

Mikasa nodded. “It feels wrong to move it. That’s a bit of history.”

Eren hummed in agreement and half climbed, half fell down the tree to the ground to stand next to her. Ever since he had a little bought with death, his limbs had refused to work exactly correctly. He knew he could correct the damage if he shifted, even for a few seconds, but he wasn’t going to waste the gift he had been given. Hanji said that she was shocked he had managed to come back at all and he should be grateful to still be breathing. He wasn’t grateful, because he was breathing but Levi... “I guess that’s everything.”

Mikasa frowned. “You okay?”

“No,” Eren laughed softly.

Mikasa’s frown deepened. “It’s still not your fault.”

“I know… I know,” Eren’s shoulders slumped.

“Levi wouldn’t have done what he did if he hadn’t wanted to. Don’t belittle his bravery. I know this is hard, but we’ve faced worse. We’ve faced… That,” Mikasa scolded as she pointed up at the tree. “We never spoke of it, but we thought he was turned. We thought he was a titan.”

Eren winced and nodded. “Let’s go. I have some dreams to make possible.”

Mikasa nodded and followed Eren’s stumbling gait with a heaved sigh.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Eren looked around the room of the house, taking a soft inhale. The room smelled clean, like lemon and chemicals. He knew that if he opened the windows, though, the scent of salt from the ocean would flow through and mingle with the smells.  _ A house by the ocean. Industrial cleaning supplies.  _ Two dreams down, six to go the thought wistfully. This wasn’t how he had thought it would be. He had thought either Levi would be by his side for this or he would be gone and Levi wouldn’t be worrying about their stupid dreams.

Stumbling his way out of the house, he walked to the patch of Earth that Eren had fertilized a few days ago. The house had been claimed by Eren once it was confirmed that he had truly ended the apocalypse. No one had even attempted to argue with the ‘hero’. No one had even asked him to stay in the army, not that he was surprised with how he couldn’t walk straight and he had to concentrate to get his arms to do at least mostly what he wanted. He set to work, plotting out the land to start up  small garden around a castle like structure that would be the tool shed.  _ A garden to tend. A castle.  _ Two more dreams that would be accomplished.

After working himself to exhaustion, Eren took a long shower and then made himself something quick to eat before he headed towards the bedroom. The quiet beeping on the other side of the door stalled him out for a few moments before he hesitantly pushed the door open.

The first thing that greeted him was the truly obscene amount of machinery, as it had since they had all been moved here. The next thing that Eren’s eyes fell on was the motionless body all of the machinery was hooked up to. After a few moments, Eren settled in the chair next to the bed.

“Hey, Levi! I plotted out the garden and where I want to build the shed today. I started to lay out a base of foundation, too. I think it’s probably going to take a while to build with my arms being all weird, you know? That’s alright though. I’m still not sure how I’m going to get you your airplane. They’re still calling me a hero and bending over backwards to accommodate me so I could probably ask for one and they’d give it to me, but I’m really not sure where we’d put it. I don’t know. We’ll have to think about it,” Eren paused as if he expected an answer.

When none came Eren set his food down on the little folding table next to the chair. “Three weeks, four days. That’s how long it’s been,” he whispered. “No one can figure out how long you’re going to sleep. If you’re ever going to wake up.  _ Twenty three years _ , Levi. You made me take twenty three fucking years from you. You idiot. You goddamn idiot… Fuck, I miss you. I miss you so much. Wake up. Please, I love you and I miss you,” Eren buried his face into his hands as soft sobs wracked his body. 

He didn’t know how long he cried. By the time that his tears had stopped falling, his food had gone cold, but he ate it anyway with nothing but the soft beeps of the machines around him and the still motionless body on the bed for company. He slept in the chair next to the bed as he had since they set Levi up there. As he would for every night until something changed.

 

``~`**`~``

 

It took Eren almost two months to complete the castle-shed. By then, the garden around it was beginning to flourish. He didn’t have much of a green thumb, but the garden had been Levi’s desire. Of course he would do his best to maintain it.

He had built a canopy bed, too, and transferred Levi’s body to it with the help of Mikasa and Jean one day. Then he had surrounded the man with a positively obscene amount of pillows and blankets. Two more dreams down. Now all he had left to figure out was the cat and the airplane. He sighed and looked out over the ocean. It was beautiful. If only Levi were standing next to him. With every day that passed, Eren’s heart grew heavier and his hope dimmed. He would take care of Levi until the day he died, but it wasn’t easy to see the man so motionless. Not when he knew it was his own fault. He wished there was some way he could have stopped Levi from focing his arm into his mouth, some way to stop the instinctual need to bite down before his brain had even started working again. Some way to give Levi back his years. 

Eren’s only reprieve from his thoughts was the constant stream of friends coming through the house. Armin and Mikasa had claimed the houses on either side of Eren’s, refusing to be that far from him, but they spent most of their nights crashing on various pieces of furniture in Eren’s home. They were also worried about Levi, Eren knew. He was part of the family. Eren was proud of himself for not having broken down in front of anyone but Levi’s unconscious body thus far. They didn’t need to worry about him, as well.

 

``~`**`~``

 

Eren was alone today. Armin and Mikasa had promised to go to the store to get more cleaning supplies for him. He was going through them a bit fast, he thought, but he knew how Levi was with cleanliness so he maintained the house impeccably.  _ As if Levi will ever see it _ , his brain said bitterly. Eren pushed that thought away. He was milling around the house, cleaning whatever looked at all dirty.

There was a loud thunk from behind him and Eren hissed in annoyance. “Missy, I swear to god, if you knocked anything off the table in the living room again, I’m going to lock you in the castle,” he threatened without looking up from the counter he was scrubbing. 

After a moment, there was a soft brush of fur on his ankles and he looked down at the big cat weaving between his legs. He had found her by chance. Missy had just showed up on his doorstep and refused to leave so Eren had started for feed her. Missy looked up at him with big brown eyes and Eren smiled affectionately.

“Aren’t you sitting guard over Levi usually at this time of day? What’s disturbed you, darling?” He bent down and ran his fingers through Missy’s soft fur. The cat never seemed to judge him for his uncoordinated attempts at petting her. Usually during most of the day Missy could be found cuddling on Levi’s chest or into his side. For some reason the cat had taken a liking to him despite the fact that the man never woke from his slumber. 

Just as Missy meowed up at him, another thud came from another part of the house and Eren felt all of his blood run cold. It was too early for Armin and Mikasa to be back. Who else would be there? Intruder? All Eren could think was that he needed to protect Levi. He stumbled forward, trying to force his limbs to behave normally long enough to get to the other’s side, long enough for him to make sure that Levi was safe. His mind sunk almost into it’s feral state without his shift.  _ Protect. Protect. Protect. _


End file.
